Bramble River Baby

One Year Letter

2010-04-08T10:51:00.001-07:00

Dear Angel Doll Leah Katherine,

It was one year ago today that I held you in my arms for the first time, felt your soft little hands, and smelled your wonderful scent. When I first felt you in your little small blanket in Baltimore at 0420, I knew that you were special. I knew that you were meant to be our daughter, and the wonderful gift that Tasha has given us was a gift from god that was supposed to happen. I did not know how much I would come to love such a special child, and your mommy and I love you more and more every day. This year has been the best year of our lives, our family is now one, and we are both very lucky to be your parents.

The happiness and joy that you have brought to my life is so strong that I always feel it, whether I am at work or I am at home with you. When I get home in the evening after a stressful and busy day, holding you in my arms and singing to you makes everything better. Hearing you make the gratifying noise when you are falling asleep in my arms takes my breath away and often moves me to tears of happiness. It is this special feeling and bond that is love, and is something that every child should feel every day. If there is one thing that you have learned over the last year, it is that you will always be loved, no matter what.

Over the last month you have been eating much more "regular" food, have learned to be very good for daddy while mommy is away with her girlfriends, and have started to drink milk instead of your normal baby formula. You've let daddy put you down downstairs and played with your toys, for 2 whole hours the other night without as much as a sound. Daddy was glad that he was with you during the terrible thunderstorm on Monday night, you were crying and scared but he held you and comforted you until you went to sleep nice. One of your favorites games is to play with the telephone buttons when mommy is on the phone, sometimes even hanging up on people!!! Daddy has been letting you play with his badges if he sees you in the mornings before he goes to work. You've had a wonderful time with the other little kids, playing with Daniel, and crawling around with everybody on Easter when everybody came over.

Leah, every day when I wake up, the first thing I think about is you, my little princess, and how lucky I am to be your daddy. There are many times that I'd just love to come into your room and hold you and kiss you all over, but you are asleep so nice and cuddly. I think about the last year and how many nights that mommy and I were up with you, feeding you, taking care of you, or consoling you. None of it matters, it doesn't matter that it was 0100 and I had to work the next day, it doesn't matter that I had to get up many times during the night or mommy didn't get a nap on a certain day, what matters is that we have you, our wonderful precious daughter and that we love you unconditionally, forever. Some day, when you are older and you've had a bad day, things aren't going right, or you need some support, I want you to read any of these 13 letters and always remember what is in them. Keep them around and read them as many times as you need to, and then come give mommy and daddy a nice big hug, because we will always be there for you. It is you who makes the day better, it is you who came to us, and it is you who always shines like the sun through our windows. We love you sweet darling, and happy birthday.

Love,

Daddy and Mommy

Vote For Leah!

2010-03-30T05:56:00.001-07:00

I entered Leah in the American Baby cover model contest. Her photo was selected for voting. If you’d like to vote for her, please visit http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/179940 You can vote for her as many times as you have computers, once per computer per day. We are currently in 9th place. Please post to your blogs, email, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc. We could win a trip to NYC :-)

Thanks!

Another Monthaversary

2010-03-08T11:59:00.001-08:00

Dear Leah:

It is almost impossible to admit that this very day eleven months ago, nurses laid you in my arms for the very first time, and in an instant I fell completely in love with someone, hopelessly and irretrievably, forever. In the eleven months that have passed, my love for you has only grown stronger every day, and every day you seem to give us new and wonderful reasons to love you.

You have had a very busy month indeed. You survived yet another blizzard, and another trip. This month we added North Carolina to your list of places to call visited, and you charmed every single person you met there, from waitresses to authors, young and old. You were the absolute hit of the weekend. It was wonderful to watch you put your new skill of waving into action, and how everyone responded to you, which of course only encouraged you further.

You also took major steps towards independence this month. When I took you to the mall, for the very first time, you voluntarily left my side to go see what other kids were doing in the play park. To say I was nervous and a bit sad is an understatement, but I was also proud of you, so I hid my tears.

You are now pulling yourself up and will walk while you hold onto whatever it is you’ve pulled up on: the couch, the fireplace, a table, my leg. You are not real skilled when on hardwood or linoleum floors yet, but when you are on carpet, you are ready for action! I’m sure it won’t be long now before you are walking. You continue to be an absolute speed demon when you are crawling around, especially when you get your eye on something you want, and even more especially when you aren’t supposed to have whatever it is! You make it very difficult for us to say “No!” because you smile up at me and bat your eyelashes, and all I can do is laugh while attempting to maintain a firm tone of voice.

You have also developed a cheesy grin—you will crawl up to me, get right in my face and grab my cheeks with both hands, and smile a huge, toothy grin. It is so cute—I hope to get a picture of it, but I’m afraid the camera will make you stop, and I don’t want you to stop. It’s a few seconds of sunshine that I don’t have to share with anyone but you, and just one of a thousand miracles we share every day.

Your favorite things to play with this month are your sound stage (Daddy and I made a good investment in that thing!), people’s drinks (you love to go fishing for ice cubes!), silverware that’s in the dishwasher (you scatter it everywhere!), and blocks and puzzles in your room (as long as I build a tower for you to destroy or put the puzzles together so you can fling the pieces all over the place!).

You have been eating many more solid foods too. Your favorites remain pickles and cucumbers (your aunt would be proud) and french fries, but you have developed an affinity for Cool Whip, noodles, and squash. You absolutely hate tomato sauce and decline any pasta or bread with tomato sauce on it. You are also quite adept at spitting out the chunks in the stage 3 foods we’ve gotten for you; I guess you’re not big on texture! We have been working to convert you from bottles to sippy cups, but you’re not too excited about that change either. We will continue to persevere.

You have had a hard time sleeping in the past few weeks, getting us up every single morning between 4:45 and 5:30AM. This is very difficult on me, but Daddy has been filling in, which is hard on you! We did have you sleeping through the night, but you haven’t been too interested in that lately. We are going to go back to sleep training as soon as you get over this latest cold you have.

You also have a new pediatrician now, and charmed the office there when we took you for a cold earlier in the month. You’ve had 2 colds this month, but it seems you’re getting good at battling them.

We finally gave in and I put away all your 6 month clothes. They still fit, but I was determined to at least have you in 9 month clothes by your first birthday. You are growing taller and taller, but haven’t gotten chubby, so the smaller sizes have still fit. It was hard to admit that I could go up a size, even if the clothes are a bit big on you, but Daddy finally convinced me to do it, and I’m glad. It is crazy to think that you are growing and growing from that sweet little bundle that I held 11 months ago into this growing, crawling mass of arms and legs and personality that lights the lives of everyone she touches. You make me so proud to be your mama and I will endeavor to make you proud to be my daughter.

Your favorite friends continue to be Quintienn and Elizabeth and Alex. We see them a time or two a week. You love to be around kids, and had a great time with Nicolas when you went and spent a day with him and his mom so Mommy could get some sleep. You are looking forward to a visit from Kai this week and perhaps we’ll be able to start walking with Daniel again soon as the weather gets nicer and nicer. You got to enjoy time at the Playroom this month with Ada and Willa too, which was lots of fun for you.

I’ll close here for another month, and next month will be your last letter, so this is the last one I’ll write for you, at least in this context. Perhaps I’ll continue the tradition off-line as something for you to take with you someday. I am working on a scrapbook for you about your adoption, and then will start one about your first year of life. It is hard to believe, but we’ll be sending out invitations to your birthday party this week.

Stay sweet, little angel. We love you more than words can say.

Mama and Daddy

Siberian Adoption Story

2010-02-26T08:18:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, I was flipping through the channels and found a 90 minute special on Discovery Health called “Siberian Adoption Story”. It detailed the journeys of two families who had decided to travel to Siberia to adopt infants. One was a single mom from Virginia who wanted to adopt a baby girl and she was slated to travel with a couple from, I presume, California who also wanted to adopt a baby girl. I missed the first part of the show, so I’m not entirely sure that they are from California, but I dubbed them Malibu Ken and Barbie in my mind, so California it is.

Never in my life has an adoption show pissed me off more. Honestly. And it wasn’t the show, it was Ken and Barbie. And mostly Barbie. What an obnoxious BITCH.

Again, since I missed out on the first part of the show, I’m not entirely sure what their motivation for adopting was, although during their rehearsals for the court proceeding Ken mentioned that Barbie had had 4 miscarriages, so that may have had something to do with it. I came in where they were traveling to Siberia for the first time.

When they arrive at the orphanage, they are greeted by a translator and a social worker, and apparently Barbie is obsessed with the possibility that the baby has been exposed to alcohol in utero and might have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Consequently, she has hired Dr. Jane Aronson, who advises her of some pictures she would like to see of the baby so she can try to analyze if the baby was exposed to alcohol in the womb or not. So they sit down with the social worker, and Barbie demands to know if the baby’s mother was a prostitute. The social worker and the translator were like, “We cannot say, the baby was abandoned". I mean, what the hell kind of question is that? And why does it matter? Is it going to affect your love of that baby?

So then they go in to meet the baby for the first time, what a sweet little thing she was, too! They spent the entire time taking the pictures for Dr. Aronson and not really bonding with the baby. Barbie kept saying, “This doesn’t feel the same as when I gave birth, this is much harder than I thought it would be, I don’t know how I feel about this”. Then she comes out with the real kicker, “Well, maybe her hair will be blonder when she’s out in the sun.” Apparently, they only wanted a blonde baby! JEEZ! I mean, it was clear that they had no intention of hiding from the baby that they had adopted her—they even talked about bringing her back to Siberia to visit someday—but somehow her hair color matters? Cripes.

Meanwhile, the mom from Virginia decided that even if her baby was exposed to alcohol and had some issues, she didn’t care, she knew that baby needed her and was meant to be hers. She fell in love instantly and she and her son were devastated when the hour was up and they had to leave baby Maddie behind.

Ken and Barbie hauled ass back to an internet cafe and sent pictures off to the doctor. Single Mom asked them what they were going to do, and they said they didn’t know, they weren’t sure, everything was so unexpected and they didn’t know what to do about the whole thing. Finally Dr. Aronson said that from the pictures the little girl appeared healthy and didn’t have any signs of FAS, so they decided to proceed with the adoption.

Single Mom meanwhile ponders if she would be able to find Maddie’s birthmother while she is there. She would like to thank her and let her know that her little girl will be well taken care of and loved. Ken and Barbie are horror-stricken. Their opinion? “We don’t even want a picture. That is opening a whole can of worms that when she is fifteen she will turn against us and say, “You’re not my real parents!” and decide to move back to Siberia.” HELLO!!!! You’re going to let your 15-year-old up and move to Siberia? That’s one hell of a teenage rebellion and some kind of permissive parenting. Not to mention, I’d be willing to bet that 99% of adopted kids try that “You’re not my real parents!” crap at least once. I fully expect Leah will and we’re ready for it. So prepare yourselves, Ken and Barbie. Just because you don’t have a picture of this woman, who you’ve already decided is an alcoholic prostitute drug addict doesn’t mean your child won’t try the “you’re not my real parents!” routine at least once. And just because you know the birthmother and can answer some totally normal questions we all have about “where we came from” for your daughter doesn’t mean she’s going “to turn against you”. Ugh.

Fast forward, and we see Ken and Barbie preparing to return to Siberia. While Single Mom and her son are having bake sales to fund their adoption, Ken and Barbie decide to sell off their extra house to pay for it. BREAK MY HEART.

Then they get on a plane to go back to pick up the babies, and they are talking to other adoptive parents on the plane and what came out of Barbie’s mouth made me want to absolutely put my foot through my own TV set. She said, “You can’t adopt babies who look American in America any more. You have to go to Siberia to get babies who look American.”

Pardon my French, but: Fuck you, bitch. Let me show you what an American baby looks like:

I was furious. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with people going overseas to adopt, some of my best friends have done it. But Barbie was clearly in it for some sort of designer baby that fit the mold of what precisely she wanted. And considering that America is the great melting pot of the world, there isn’t a baby on Earth who doesn’t “look American.” Oh, that really rubbed my fur wrong. I grabbed Leah and I held her and I cried. This is the kind of small-minded idiot Leah is going to have to deal with her entire life. And I bet if you asked Barbie, she’d consider herself just as liberal and open-minded as they come.

So they get back to Siberia, they get baby Ava, they take her for her medical exam and the first thing out of Barbie’s mouth to the doctor is, “Has she been exposed to heroin? Can you tell?” This woman is obsessed with this poor child’s medical history, which is UNKNOWN. The birth mother is UNKNOWN. You are taking your chances here to an extent. What concerns me is that if little Ava displays any sort of behavior that is not in the Ken and Barbie mold, Barbie is going to be determined that it’s to do with her pre-natal experience and that she was surely addicted to something before she was born, and there will probably be all kinds of recriminations.

What also breaks my heart is that Ava, that unspoiled innocent little babe, is probably going to grow up to be a pretentious little snot like her mother. Look at the example she’ll have to follow.

I don’t know if those two ever intend to adopt again, but I hope and pray to God there’s not a social worker in the world who would touch them with a 10 foot pole. I hope there’s not an adoption agency or a country that would accept them again. I feel terribly judgmental even writing or thinking that, but frankly, I have never been more offended by a person in my entire life (Ken was pretty much on the sidelines, I will say, much like the real Ken who got tired of Barbie and broke up with her a few years ago, his job appeared to be to look pretty, flash his veneers, and let Barbie run the show). I watch Adoption Stories every single day—I could probably recite them by heart at this point, and every last one makes me cry ever single time I watch it. No matter where the couple comes from, no matter what their story is, where their child/ren come from, every story is beautiful.

Siberian Adoption Story absolutely infuriated me. I hope Single Mom here in Virginia is doing well with baby Maddie, and I pray little Ava will grow up to tell her mother exactly where to stick it.

Save the Date

2010-02-23T07:09:00.000-08:00

I can't believe we are already thinking about this, but Leah's first birthday party will be on Saturday, April 10, 2009 sometime in the afternoon. Hope to see lots of sunny faces there to celebrate our little angel's special day.

Ten Months Already!

2010-02-12T06:53:00.001-08:00

Dear Leah Katherine,

It is now 10 months since we first held you in that little blanket in Baltimore at 0420 AM, which began our family. You have made lots of progress this month, mainly you’ve started crawling more, babbling more (mostly saying “dah dah dah” and “iiiiiiya iiiiya iiiiya.”) You have also learned to sit down all by yourself after holding on to the couch or whatever you are trying to get to. You’ve lately been sleeping all night, lately your wake-up time has been around 0600.

This month you went to Atlanta and spent a few days with Uncle Mike and Auntie Lesley, where you were spoiled and you were introduced to your teapot. Grandma and Grandpa from Rhode Island also came down to see you and even watched you while we went out for dinner. You also went with us for dinner a couple of times with Uncle Landry and Auntie Meredith, where you were excellent the entire time. You went and spent the day with Auntie Melissa while mom and dad were away all day with Cioci giving birth to your second cousin, William George. You’ve been enjoying spending lots of time with Nana, as we have had so much snow that we haven’t been really able to leave the house for days. You have been keeping us entertained with your babbling and climbing all over your mommy, and even being good for daddy while mommy went out to shovel and to the grocery store.

You’ve really started to babble a lot more, be a bit more mobile, and have become more and more curious of what is around you. Mommy has been still experimenting with real food to give you, and lately your favorite is sweet potatoes. Daddy likes that you are up at 0600, since most of the time he can spend a few minutes with you and mommy before he goes to work. Mommy also cut most of your hair off this month in an attempt to get it more under control, and everybody thinks that you look so cute. Of course we already knew that, but it’s great to hear it from everyone else.

Leah when we hold you in our arms it is the most special feeling in the world. When daddy brings you up to his office and sings to you, with you falling asleep in his arms, it brings him to tears that he is so lucky to have you and be your daddy. When mommy snuggles with you during the day and feels you on her shoulder, she feels like a million dollars to know that she is the lucky one who has the privilege to stay at home and raise you. In the mornings we listen for the “ih, ih” and realize how thankful we are to have our daughter to love and take care of, forever and ever. As you will learn more when you get older, there is lots of love in the Kosior house, and that you will always feel and carry with you wherever you go. We love you darling daughter, and your progress this month is just the beginning of a life-long list of achievements that we can be proud of.

Love,

Daddy and mommy

Nine Months

2010-01-11T12:04:00.001-08:00

Dear Leah:

You are now nine months old, and have spent as much time in the world as you spent preparing to make your debut. Every day now we have had you a little bit longer than you birthmother did, and we think of her a lot and with gratitude for the wonderful little gift she gave us: you.

What a month you have had! You have been extremely busy. Each day I wake up and I think, “I wonder what Leah will learn today?” and you never fail to surprise me. You said your first words this month, “Mama” and “Papa” and seemed to know exactly what you were talking about with each of them. The random babbling has at least two elements that are special and mean us! What joy that brought to us.

You also started to crawl this month. You are getting stronger and better at it every day, and I have to control the impulse to still pick you up and put you next to whatever it is you are indicating that you want. You know very well how to get there on your own, even if it is sometimes easier just to scream while we try to figure it out.

You also grew 3 new teeth! WOW! And they all came in at once. You have two on the top and four on the bottom now. It’s amazing. For a while we thought maybe you’d just have 3 teeth forever, but now you’ve doubled the number! It was rough going, but you managed.

This month also marked your first Christmas. You had lots of visitors and lots of presents and made the time a lot of fun. Thanks to your Cioci, we were able to make prints of your feet, so we will always be able to look back on how small you were, even though right now you seem to be growing like a weed! Some of your favorite Christmas presents were the sound stage (you gaze at yourself adoringly in the mirror, it’s so cute!), the xylophone, and all your pretty new clothes. You also received a special ornament from Nana, the first in what will be a collection. It is hard to imagine that someday you will leave us to have your own Christmas celebrations, but you will be able to take your ornaments with you for your own tree and each one will be a special memory.

You also got a taste of the snow this past month when we had a big blizzard. We were trapped in the house for 2 days, but you were a constant source of entertainment. We strapped you into your snowsuit and put you out in the snow to see what you’d do, but you didn’t appear to like it! Then we took you around with us to see all the neighbors and give out Christmas treats. You loved absolutely everyone, playing with adults and kids alike, and so many people since have told us what a good little angel you are. We know, but it’s sure nice to hear it from other people!

We’ve also let you try lots of different foods this month and you are certainly very adventurous when it comes to eating. Your current favorites seem to be pickles and celery, although you are also fond of lemons. Jarred food is OK, although you get mad because I won’t let you play in it up to your elbows. You still love sweet potatoes and applesauce, but have started trying some meat and like beef and turkey just fine. You still hate green beans. You are also not terribly fond of the pasta blends. It’s OK, you take after your father in that regard!

Leah, I wish I could put into words how much we love you. There are days we look at you and our eyes just well with tears about how fortunate we are to have you in our lives. You are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, a true joy to all who know you, our every hope and wish come true. I wish I could hold you forever in my arms, sweet girl, you are exactly the child we dreamed of when we decided to adopt. You are growing so fast, it’s impossible to believe how quickly all this growing is taking place! Looking back on old photos, I can’t believe that baby is now the baby in front of me. We’re with you every step of the way, from here to forever.

All our love,

Mama and Papa

Finalization Party

2009-12-10T08:05:00.001-08:00

We will be celebrating the finalization of Leah’s adoption this Saturday, December 12th at 6:00pm at the Roma Restaurant, 203 Lansdowne Road in Fredericksburg. We invite everyone to join us to celebrate that our beautiful daughter is recognized officially by the courts as ours and only ours.

To celebrate, we had a family portrait done on December 4th, the day we found out Leah is all ours. Enjoy!

Eight Months!

2009-12-10T07:58:00.001-08:00

Dear Angel Doll,

Here we are again, another month has gone by and you continue to amaze Mom and I with your growth and development. This month you have started eating real food quite a bit, adjusted to a new sleep schedule, and overall become more “nosey” with everything – not that you weren’t nosey before, but your favorite pastime is to look around your environment. You have continued to play a lot with Cousin Dottie when she comes down, pulling her hair and taking her toys, but that’s OK, that’s how little babies like you learn. Mommy has started to really work on your hair quite a bit, and it is looking better and better every day. You still haven’t gotten any more teeth, although we think that you might have a couple ready to pop out of your sweet little mouth any day now. You hold your arms up when you want to be picked up and are shaking your toys in your hands just like when Mommy shows you “All done!” We know you don’t want to play with those toys any more! You are so smart! You have also started eating on your own—Uncle Lucas and Cioci showed you how to hold your own bottle and now you don’t need any help. Of course, sometimes Mommy and Daddy just want some snuggle time, so we hold you and feed you anyway. We don’t want you to grow up too fast!

You’ve seen a lot of people this month, you’ve been very good with Colleen on Wednesdays when mommy goes for her appointments, you were very good when Grandma and Grandpa came down from Rhode Island to see you, and you were even good when Cathy and Peter came over from the Free Lance-Star to talk to Daddy. Mommy and Daddy took you to Richmond to a potluck for adopted families and you were perfect the whole time, not even letting out a peep. Auntie Beth showed you off and of course you were the HEAD Little Baby at the event. You also went to see the folks at Dr. Leonard’s and had 2 shots and didn’t let out a peep, instead looking at the nurse as if to say “is that it?” You went with Mommy and Daddy to the hearing aid place and to the dentist, where of course everybody was loving you, and you even screamed for Daddy while Mommy went to the bathroom. And of course, there was the infamous trip to Ruby Tuesday’s recently where by the end of the meal, you had 6 waiters and waitresses standing around you admiring you! Overall you have continued to be a very very good baby when momy and daddy are in public or when we have company.

There are a couple of problem areas that we are trying to work on with you. You are very attached to Mommy, to the point that if she leaves the room you start to cry/yell. This is hard for Mommy, since she has to give you her undivided attention at all times and doesn’t get many breaks. You also are still having trouble getting used to daddy, and lately have not been eating for him, making this harder for us. But we know that these little things are just temporary and that you will grow out of them. You have been EXCELLENT in the car lately, and Mommy and Daddy are very proud of you for that. You continue to play a lot with your toys, and are getting more sleep which is good for your development. We have started to let you cry things out more, and we are helping you to learn that it is OK if Mommy is in the other room or Daddy can’t pick you up all of the time, and it will get better.

On November 30, the final adoption order was signed by the county court and we received it on December 4 in the mail. Mommy and I have received the best gift of all: the gift of a child, Leah Katherine, you are now ours. You are now a Kosior, nobody will be coming around questioning what mommy and daddy are doing, no more visits to Richmond, and no more expensive legal costs. We knew at 3:56AM on April 8 that we had the most precious gift, Daddy knows it and feels it every time he holds you, and Mommy sees it in your eyes when you smile and make faces at her. Nobody can question anything anymore, it is final. On Saturday, Mommy and Daddy are going to get together with some friends to celebrate the news, although we always knew in our hearts that it would happen and that you were meant to be our wonderful daughter. Leah Katherine Kosior, we will always love you, and your gift in our lives is one that we will carry with us and treasure forever.

Love,

Daddy and Mommy

Seven Month Sweetheart

2009-11-08T07:01:00.001-08:00

Sweet Baby Leah,

It is hard to believe another month has come and gone in the first wonderful year of your life. I look at you and I can’t believe the time has flown by so quickly. It has been another adventurous month, and you have made it through with flying colors, literally!

This month, you took your first airplane ride as we went to visit Nana in Florida. Everyone on the planes absolutely loved you, and you had no problems with going up or coming down—your ears were just fine and you didn’t let out so much as a peep either way. You were charming and got your first pair of wings from the flight attendants and let our seatmates hold you and enjoy your company. Once we got to Florida, the challenge began. It was VERY hot and you had a hard time sleeping. It was a sad time for all of us with your Papa John being sick, but it was especially tough on you because you decided to have two teeth come in while we were there! Your little teeth are so sweet, and quite sharp, and you show them with pride.

Still, we had a lot of fun and when we got home, we were still off and running. You had a doctor’s appointment right away and you weighed in at 16 pounds 4 ounces and 26 inches in height. Mama was able to make a notation on your growth chart finally, you reach! You also went with Mama to the dentist and all the hygienists came running in from their various rooms just to see you. You are such a sweet baby with so much magnetism!

You are talking almost constantly when you are awake, and you are so nosy and inquisitive and happy. You love to laugh and are so silly. You have a snorting little giggle that is so cute. You love to play with toys, and pretty much anything is a toy to you now. If you can grab it and stuff it in your mouth, it’s fair game! This includes other people’s feet and hair.

You are on a new sleep schedule this month as we try to make sure you get enough sleep for your growing development. You have taken to the new schedule very well and seem to greet your bed with a new level of respect—and this helps Mom and Dad feel better too. The whole family is running like a much more well oiled machine.

You are sitting up beautifully now. It is rare that we bring your car seat in with us to restaurants and stores—you would rather sit in a high chair or in the grocery cart. The cart makes Mama nervous, so we will get you a cart seat cover that is soft so you can enjoy it more. The high chair is fantastic, you can be nosy and look around at the people around us and have fun. You also get great enjoyment out of your high chair at home and sit there for meals now instead of in your baby swing. You also sit in the stroller without the car seat any more. Who said you could be such a big girl? Where is that squishy little newborn we brought home who just cuddled and slept all day?

You are also starting to tolerate other people better. As long as Mama isn’t around and you can’t see her or hear her voice, you are calming down and enjoying time with other people a bit more. It is still a slow go, but we are getting there. This has made it easier to leave you with the babysitter or with Daddy for a while and for Mama to have some time to get things done. You’ve also been up to visit your birthmother and sister and did very well with Tanya pulling on your hair—you didn’t make a squeak, but I could see the wheels turning in your head, plotting your revenge. You also had great fun on Halloween, dressing up as Princess Leia and helping us hand out candy to all the kids who came to the door. You and Cousin Dottie were so cute and seem to be getting along better now that you can hold your own.

You are eating like a champion. You still do not love rice cereal, but you are a great fan of applesauce, sweet potatoes, pears, carrots, and of course the new love of your culinary life, bread. Any type of bread hits the spot with you, and a morning isn’t complete until you’ve mangled half a mini bagel. You aren’t too crazy about other solid foods like puffs or teething biscuits, but you love some bread! Your face lights up just to see it.

We had our last appointment with Beth the Social Worker as part of your adoption, and pretty soon, you will be ours forever. The paperwork and courts will grind their way together and then we will be signed, sealed, and delivered YOURS.

You are such a joy to us, and we are so proud to be your parents. You have been the greatest gift and treasure to us and we hope that we can be the parents you deserve every day. We love you, Leah Katherine.

Mama & Daddy

Last Post-Placement Today!

2009-11-06T13:58:00.001-08:00

Today we traveled to Richmond for our final post-placement adoption meeting with our marvelous social worker, Beth Johnston. It went very well, and we took care of all the last payments to JFS (Thank you, credit card, for arriving!). Apparently the interlocutory order will expire next Saturday and then Beth can submit our paperwork to the courts recommending that our adoption be finalized.

We got home and dropped a quick email to our attorney, Colleen, and she is ready for action on her end. We will hear from her paralegal soon about some other paperwork and then get a court date!!!

In all, it took from July 31, 2008 to November 6, 2009 to get from our first homestudy visit to our final post-placement appointment. Not too bad at all :-) We went from zero to family in just over a year.

Six Months (Better Late than Never!)

2009-10-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Putch Putch,

Well, your mom and I can't believe it, but you are already 6 months old! The time has gone by so fast, yet it has been the best 6 months of our life. You continue to amaze us every day with what you are learning,doing, and trying all by yourself.

In the last month you've developed quite a bit. You've managed to do considerably better in the car, crying only a little bit to let us know that you don't like it back there and we understand that. You've started to sit up, with mommy and I helping you, and have also been playing a lot in your exersaucer. You continue to giggle when mommy and I make noises for you, and you've continued to put that great smile on most of the time. You have really started to eat "normal" food, mainly apple sauce and pears, and you seem to do very well in the high chair when mommy and daddy are eating. In general, you are becoming more aware of your surroundings and like to look around a lot.

In terms of activities this month, you continue to go with mommy on her walks with Lisa and Daniel, you met Colleen, our babysitter for the first time and were crabby for her, and you even got to go to the Pentagon and watch Cioci and Uncle Lucas run in the Army ten-miler. Uncle Mike and Auntie Lesley came up from Atlanta once again to spoil you rotten, and right now you are in Florida with Nana and Aunt Estell. This month you've also added yet another mode of transportation to your travels: the airplane, where you were fantastic the entire time. You went up to Baltimore with us and Mike and Lesley to get some books and have lunch, and you also went to the national book festival in Washington, where you were admired and loved by Judy Blume and Marilynne Robinson. You also got to go with mom to get her hair done, and were the hit of the show and all of the ladies adored you and were talking about what to do with all of your hair. Finally, you also went up to Quantico 2 times to meet daddy for lunch, and even let him hold you, which was the highlight of his day. Another thing you did this month was to eat a piece of bread at the Pines of Florence restaurant when we went out with Cioci and her friends from work, that bread was all over the place and you loved it!

You are still sleeping well for the most part, although you have continued to move around a lot and wake yourself up during the night. Mommy has started leaving you by yourself in your room and closing the door so that she can sleep, after feeding and changing you, in order to help you fall asleep on your own. You still are very very crabby with daddy, even crabbing for him all night on October 05, but daddy knows that you were just tired and are not used to him. Every day you will have an hour with daddy after he gets home from work so that you will get used to him, and so far it's working out very well. You are still as adorable as ever and very good when everyone wants to hold you and love you.

Six months of happiness is just the beginning to a wonderful family life that we are looking forward to having with you. On October 01, Daddy took care of you and played music for you until you went to sleep. By the time he put you to bed, he was crying thinking of how much he loved you and how lucky we were to have you. Mommy and daddy are so proud when we go out places and everyone adores you and loves you, making us feel even better about our decision to have you as our daughter. In the first 6 months of your life, you have been to 15 states, traveled 5 different modes of transportation (including the Washington and Boston subways), and had so many parties that we can't even count. Above all, you continue to develop into a wonderful little girl, and we are very excited about the months and years ahead of watching you grow into a Kosior.

Love,
Daddy and Mommy

Five Month Old Baby!

2009-09-08T11:45:00.000-07:00

Sweet Leah,

We can hardly believe it has been 5 months since the first moment we saw you and held you. The time has flown by, but this past month in particular has been an absolute whirlwind. You have been so patient with all the changes we underwent, far more patient than I (your mother) was during much of the time.

The month started out in New York, where we visited your grandfather while he was recovering from his heart attack. You made a million friends on the train ride up there, and a million more while we were home in Oswegatchie. It was very special for me to walk you through the rooms of the house where I grew up and introduce you to the people who meant so much to me.

You also got to test out two new modes of transportation: Greyhound buses and city rail. We took the bus from New York to Boston and traveled the city by T. You made many friends on the bus as well, and I think you enjoyed the trip around Boston. You barely made a squeak as we walked the Freedom Trail, and you seem to enjoy sitting in your car seat in the stroller where you can watch me as I push you all over the place. You had lots of fun at Daddy's Norries convention where you screamed during Mommy's speech and it took four women to finally settle you down after more than 30 minutes! You have, in general, become a little bit less happy to be around people you don't know--you cried a lot this month visiting friends and family. This has been a little bit hard not only on Mommy (who would welcome a rest for her arms!) but also on everyone who wants to love and hug you. Towards the end of this month, you seem to be getting better, but you are certainly very selective about who you want to spend time with. You even went to spend an afternoon with Wendy and the boys, and seemed to enjoy yourself very much, although you slept your head off when you got home! Towards the end of the month, you started getting along better with Daddy too--yesterday you sat with him for nearly 3 hours without so much as a peep! This makes him very happy, as he has been very patient but has had a hard time with your apparent distaste for him.

After the trip to Boston, you got to go back to Rhode Island and visit Daddy's parents. There was a big party for you there and people came to visit from 3 states just to see you! It was very special for you to meet Mommy's friend Lynn who is also adopted and Mommy and Daddy's friend Denise who would like to adopt. We were happy that you accepted cuddling from both of them! The entire community there spoiled you absolutely rotten--you received many wonderful gifts! You also got to know your cousin Ethan better.

By the time we came home, we'd been away for 20 days and we were all exhausted. Daddy and I sat down and figured out that in your short life, you have visited 11 different states already! (New York, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Virginia) We are planning only one more trip, this one in October, and it will cover 4 more states. Then you are finished travel, we promise! Mommy for one is totally over it! But you are so patient and such a good baby that you take the worry and burden off it for us.

As soon as we got home, you had to go to the doctor and survive another round of booster shots. Still, you are over it almost as quickly as you get upset! You weighed over 15 pounds and were 23 1/2 inches long. We are waiting for you to hit the magical 2 feet mark, but I bet you are there by now! We can see a couple little white bumps in your sweet little mouth and we suspect you might well be developing some teeth! You are drooling unbelievably, so it wouldn't surprise us in the least if that were the case.

This has been a big month in your development, too! You are starting to sit up on your own for 5-10 seconds at a time before tipping over. You have relaxed your fists, and now are grabbing things with your hands and putting them in your mouth. You grab some things we would rather you didn't, like Mommy's drinks and the tissues that have an entertaining way of continuing to pop out of the box. You have started to eat solid foods. You have a new exersaucer and you play with all the toys now, making them play music or attempting to chew on them. It is a new favorite in addition to the busy chair and the monkey mat!

You are eating real food now and while you do not like bananas (good girl!) or rice cereal, you seem fine with applesauce and squash! We can't give you 6 ounces of formula yet as you have a tendency to spit up if you eat that much, but it doesn't stop you from wanting it. You have graduated away from the newborn nipples on your bottle and are using bigger bottles now than before. You still like to hold them when you think of it, but nothing replaces snuggle time with Mommy.

You are making new sounds, most especially your "Pteradactyl scream" which you will do until you cough, and then you giggle at how loud you can get. Your laugh is the best laugh in the whole world. You also are babbling and chatting up a storm, which is fun. You love when we make silly sounds to you!

Watching you grow and change is so rewarding. Your personality is developing into a total ray of sunshine. We are still stopped by people in restaurants who interrupt our dinner just to tell us how sweet and cute you are. We know we have the most precious gift of all--the gift of you and we treasure you every day in every way. We couldn't have chosen a better daughter. We love you.

Mama and Daddy

Updates!

2009-09-01T20:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's been a couple weeks and I'm going to try and be better about updating a bit more regularly. However, please don't feel shy about inviting yourself over to visit Leah if you haven't gotten to see her yet! Just drop me an email or contact me over at Facebook and we'll set up a time!

So we had Leah's 4 month appointment on August 24th--a bit late but better late than never. She had her next round of booster shots which was not pleasant, but we got through it. I'm hoping we're almost done with them! She weighed in at 15 pounds, 1 ounce and was 23 1/2 inches long. She has developed a little rash, but it seems to be clearing up. They swabbed her throat for strep just in case the mystery virus was still hanging on and man did she hate that! But the results came back clear and the rash is clearing up, so we're chalking that one up to heat and drool.

On August 28th, Beth our social worker came by the house for our second post-placement follow up visit. It was a nice visit all around, I was proud to show her Leah's room, which was a rabbit hutch the first time she was here. She loved it and loved the color, which made me feel great! We had a great visit--talked about Leah's health, about relations with the birthmom, any issues coming up relating to stress and parenting, and that was about it. She was telling us about some hot springs she had taken her son to when he was little and needed some soothing and I later asked her about it again and she told me where they were. I've looked them up on line and found the B&B and resort where they are located and Michael and I have decided to go there for our anniversary next year.

Other than that, Leah is doing just great! I can't believe another month has flown by almost--in one week she'll be 5 months old and I'll be writing another letter. Sheesh, they weren't kidding when they said time goes by so quickly. It's breath-taking. Her development and growth changes every day. Occasionally now, she will sit up on her own for a few seconds at a time--like 10-15 seconds before tipping over. She has got the biggest, happiest smile and amazes me every day.

In other news, my friend Donna is finishing up her homestudy. I'm so excited for her and hope her journey goes as smoothly as ours has been! Congratulations, Donna! Can't wait to meet your baby!

Four Month Girl!

2009-08-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Baby Doll,

Here you are, 4 months old, and getting bigger and stronger. We still realize that we are so lucky to have you, and you remind us of this every day. During the last month you have made progress in the car not screaming as much, and you have become very attached to your mom. While this is a good thing, when dad comes home and wants to hold you and take care of you, you've been getting very upset which is unacceptable! :-) However, daddy has come up with a system that works for you, involving letting you scream for a bit, then rocking you until you go to sleep. You
spent all night July 13th with daddy and were very good, only taking a bit to settle down to sleep. You've also become quite the celebrity on the WebCam, getting together with grammy and grampy, Nana, Auntie Paula, and even Uncle Franc and Auntie Cristina in Ecuador.

Unfortunately you had a virus and got sick this month, which was very hard for mom and dad. We took you to the hospital, where all of the nurses were holding you and adoring you. Luckily you got better, but mom and dad definitely knew that something was wrong when you were screaming when we touched you and weren't eating. But don't worry, daddy got the same virus you did, and doesn't blame you for screaming since everything hurt. You have still been playing a lot with mom during the day, and telling us baby stories that we love. You spent a couple of days with Auntie Melissa
who came down to give mom a break, and even met Auntie Kerianne up in Washington. Right now you are up in New York with mom, enjoying time with PopPop, and of course being held by all of the people up in Star Lake. Mom and dad took you up to Baltimore to visit Tasha and Mary, who of course adored you and fed you while we ate and had a great time. You took yet another trip on the train and were excellent the entire time, even with mommy finding her way around Penn Station in New York. Next week you will go to Boston for the first time and meet some of daddy's friends in the
Norries community, and then back to Grandma's and grandpa's for yet another party. Boy, for such a little baby, you've certainly managed to have a lot of parties.

At 4 months you seem to be developing as you should, today was your first day eating cereal and you responded pretty well to it. Right now a challenge is getting you back on your sleep schedule, since while you were sick and in pain you woke up a lot during the night. You have also started rolling over in bed, which scares you since you are just used to being on your tummy. But don't worry, we will help you adjust to it and you will be a pro very soon. As more and more time goes by, and as we get
closer to Auntie Beth's next visit and the time to see Judge Dalton, mom and dad are realizing more and more how much we love you and cannot imagine life without you. You have changed our lives so much for the better, and have brought us all closer together as a family. You should never ever forget that there is not one single thing more important than our family that we have built, and we can only look forward to many many happy days and years together watching you grow and develop into even more of a special girl than you already are. It is a wonderful thing for dad to be able to come home and say "Hi Darlin'" and scoop you up in his arms after a long day at work. It is a wonderful gift to have mom be home with you during the day and watch you develop. Most of all, without question, you are the best part of our life, Little Leah, and will be for a very long time.

All our love,
Daddy and Mama

Leah's Mystery Ailment

2009-07-29T10:56:00.000-07:00

So if you and I are friends on Facebook, you'll have seen all my posts about Leah's mystery disease. But if not, I'll bring everyone up to speed.

Last Friday, I noticed that Leah slept all day long. As in, I think she was awake for approximately 3 hours. Whenever we would move her at all, she would scream like she was in pain. She wasn't eating very much either.

Overnight, I noticed that she was getting really, really hot. Around 5AM, I took her temperature and it was 101 under her arm, or about 102 core temperature. I knew this was not good, so I called my mom for advice, who suggested Tylenol and a sponge bath. This worked for a while, but when she was still not eating, was still screaming when we touched her, and was still listless we decided to call the doctor.

The doctor on call returned our call almost immediately and suggested that we go to the ER. We had been mulling over that possibility all day. Leah, when healthy, has turned into an extremely active and extroverted baby, so this was totally unlike her. We took her to the ER, and I will give Mary Wash Hosp credit, they saw her immediately--it was so fast I thought they were calling me up for more paperwork and instead the nurse asked where the patient was. Having sat in the MWH waiting room for 5 hours with a broken leg, I was impressed.

So they did the standard tests, took her temp and pulse and oxygen rates, her temp was 100.7 when we got there. They did a urinalysis and drew blood (fun for mom on both accounts--why do they make moms hold down screaming babies for things like catheters and needle sticks?!) and then we got sent to a waiting room.

I had left in such a hurry, I hadn't even stopped to consider packing her diaper bag, and by now she was starting to get a little hungry. The nurse found us some formula and I called my sister and asked her to bring over some more. The doctor finally came back after a couple hours and told us that the urinalysis was clear and the blood didn't show anything alarming. His best guess was that it was some sort of virus that would eventually burn itself out with the fever. He told us to follow up with the pediatrician on Monday and that they would call us if anything serious turned up.

We went home and waited it out. She actually seemed to be improving on Sunday, as she was a bit more lively and eating better. She was not sleeping at night, however. I think the Friday sleep turned her days and nights all around, and so we were up ALL NIGHT. Monday morning, Michael called the doctor while I tried to doze for a while, and we got an appointment. I took Leah up and they gave her a check up and again, couldn't find anything. I took the initial lab results with me and Dr. Crane said nothing points to anything suspicious. Leah's fever was down, but she had developed a nasty rash. Dr. Crane said that oftentimes if a virus is to blame, at the end of its lifecycle it will manifest as a rash and that's how you know that the virus is dying off. She suggested more rest, feed her what she would tolerate, and continue the Tylenol for pain.

We got home and there was a call from MWH's lab asking me to call back, which made me very nervous. I called and spoke to the doctor, who said they had possibly found a bacteria in one of the cultures. It was a common bacteria and more likely than not, it was from her skin and had just found its way into the sample, but they would know more in 24 hours and would call back if it required medical attention.

To date, we haven't heard from them and it's been 48 hours since I spoke to them. This is hopefully good news. Today Leah is back to being her normal self, which is to say a total ray of sunshine. She's back to giggling, smiling, babbling, snuggling, etc. Her sleep is not totally normal--she woke up 3 times last night, but each time after a feeding or a pacifier, she went right back to sleep, unlike on Monday night when she was up from 11:30 to 4:30 and I wanted to kill myself (thanks again to Melissa for coming so Mom could have naptime!). We'll see what happens, we have a big week coming up with our travel next week, so I'm trying to take it easy now so that she'll be well rested for the journey to New York. I know she will be good medicine for her PopPop and seeing him doing better will be good medicine for me, so fingers crossed it all goes well.

Look What I Can Do!

2009-07-15T05:53:00.001-07:00

Leah has made some big gains this month already!

First of all, occasionally she holds her bottle by herself. Ususally I can't capture this in any appreciable way on camera because I'm holding her. However, this weekend when we were with Tasha, she held it and since I was not holding her at the time, I got a picture of her doing it! WOW!

I've also noticed when I go to retrieve her in the mornings from her sleep that she is often rolled over from how she went to sleep. Today I captured her as she rolled over on our bed.

Our little girl is growing up, no doubt about it! It's wondrous to watch.

A Visit with Tasha

2009-07-12T03:44:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, we drove up to Baltimore to visit with Tasha, Leah's birthmom. She has gone through a lot of upheaval in the three months since Leah was born, so I was very happy that we could visit her and bring her a little sunshine.

We arrived almost an hour late courtesy of the DC DOT (which is now officially on my list of DOT's that I cannot stand), but it was fine. We hung out at Tasha's place for another hour, during which her sister came by to visit, and then we headed out to where it all began: The Cheesecake Factory!

It was fun--we ate outside overlooking the paddleboats and aquarium, which I am definitely looking forward to taking Leah to someday. It was so nice to have a wonderful afternoon to catch up and just really enjoy ourselves, the pressure is off from the adoption, Michael and I can relax, and just enjoy this young woman in our lives.

It was hard to say goodbye, but nice to drive on with a text coming into my cell that read, "Thanks for everything, you are doing an amazing job. I couldn't have picked better parents in the world than you. Love ya!"

We also gave Tasha the album yesterday with the cards everyone had made and about 125 pictures of Leah's first 3 months. She actually cried over everyone's notes and sentiments. I told her there might be a few more on the way, so if you haven't sent one yet, but want to, feel free. We'll go visit her again this fall AFTER the baseball season--Baltimore sucks when everyone's in town for the O's.

It was tough to say goodbye, but the joy of an open adoption is that we're only saying "Goodbye for now" and we know we'll see her again! It's great that she's so close by and we can have regular visits. This adoption has turned into everything I didn't think I wanted, and it's made me so happy.

Three Month Girl

2009-07-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

Sweet Leah,

Today marks a celebration of three months since you first put your stamp on this world, since Daddy and I first earned the title of "parent", and since we first fell in love with all our hearts with a perfect little stranger. It has been a whirlwind, to say the least, and you have been so good and so patient through it all. The days are blending together, it's getting harder to remember what happened when and how, and hard to carve out time to write down our memories, which is sad. We must try harder!

You currently seem to be in the midst of a big growth spurt. For a while this month, we had you eating every 3 1/2 hours or so, but now you are back to demanding food every 2 1/2 hours and you want a lot of it! I have had to go through your clothes twice now and get rid of things that you can't fit into any more, some of which you never wore! And it looks like we're going to have to go on a shopping trip for some sleepers--you can't stretch out like you love doing while wearing your 0-3 month sleepers any more! This morning on the scale, you registered 13 pounds 3 ounces, which makes you gaining roughly a pound a month!

This month you've also had to endure some serious time in the car. You had a mini taste of it when we traveled to New Jersey, but then you had major car time when we drove to New York. The trip to New Jersey was pretty good, but the trip home was a challenge. Ditto the trip to New York, relatively speaking, it was better going up than coming home. How you can scream for the majority of 7 hours, I do not know. Not only would our throats be killing us, we'd be exhausted. But you've raised it to an art form.

You've met tons of new people this month and enjoyed every last one of them. You got cozy with Uncle Russell and Auntie Amy when they came all the way from Georgia to see you. They loved you as we all do, as did Auntie Amy's family. And of course, you met two famous authors this month, Annie Barrows and Janet Evanovich, both of whom wanted to steal you and take you home with them. You were also the star of the hospital waiting rooms in ICU and in the family room when PopPop was recovering in the cardiac care unit. Everyone loved you to bits, and you charmed the socks off them, even getting the nurses to allow you in for short visits when they should not have done so. And of course, PopPop's friend Beth loved having you at her house too.

This month you also took your first trip by boat. You have now traveled by car, boat, and train, once you take a plane trip you'll be a seasoned traveler! You didn't care for being in the boat in your car seat, but when we let you 'drive' or when we walked around in the fresh air, you loved it.

You seemed to thrive in the mountain air and slept like a champion our entire visit in New York/Vermont. In fact, sleeping is one of the things you continue to do very well--you often sleep through the night, and when you don't it's only because you have fallen asleep early and need to wake up to eat and have a quick diaper change before catching another 3 or 4 hours. We find it extraordinary, as does everyone else who wonders if we know how lucky we are to have a sleeping baby? (Of course we do! Now if we could just figure out the car thing!)

You and Cousin Dottie certainly keep us all on our toes. While we were in New York, the two of you kept riling each other up--one of you and then the other. I suspect when I look at you that you are plotting against us already. Your aunt and uncle and father and I will all have to get a game plan before you get a whole lot older or we're in big trouble!

Your favorite toy continues to be the monkey mat. You will now play on it for an hour before getting tired. You still love the ceiling fan and have reached an agreement with the baby swing, which you happily sit in during our dinnertime, and when you are getting crabby before naptime and need to settle down. You always flop to the left hand side of the swing and just lay there, listening to the music and swinging until you fall asleep. The swing makes trips to all 3 floors of the house, but that's just the way you like it.

You are much more smiley and vocal. You have developed a laugh that absolutely kills me. It's a whole body laugh, your little eyes scrunch up, you open your mouth, kick your feet and laugh. This makes me laugh, which makes you laugh harder. It is your most adorable new feature. You do it if I make silly faces at you or make silly sounds. Your babbling is reaching new heights of performance--you are starting to talk back now and love it if we imitate the sounds that you make. When you get really excited, your arms and legs are flying while you talk. We're sure you're telling us good stories, we just wish we knew what they meant!

Technologically speaking, you're advanced too! We now enjoy video conference calls to Grammy and Grampy on the computer and the camera just loves you. They love seeing you and we love showing you off. It's a win-win situation! We hope to get PopPop and Nana on board with it and your aunties as well.

Sweet baby, you have brought so much joy to our lives, we can't imagine life without you. It seems like you've always been here, neither Daddy nor I can remember what life was like before you. We're glad we can't. All we know now is that love is spelled L-E-A-H.

Love,
Mama and Daddy

Happy Two Months, Leah!

2009-06-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Angel Daughter Leah Katherine,

You are now 2 months old and we still cannot believe what a miracle we have witnessed with you coming into our lives. The past month has seen you starting to see more, say more (cooing and babbling), and even stretching your muscles and playing on the floor. You spent one night with daddy all alone and you were so good and did not even so much as give a whimper. You also went up to Grammy and Grampy's in Rhode Island and were excellent the entire time, on the train and all. Auntie Paula and Auntie Ellen got their first chance to hold you and love you so much that they were fighting over which one would take care of you. You smiled for both Grammy
and Grampy, touching their hearts like never before. Uncle Mike and Aunt Lesley came up from Atlanta and got their first chance to take care of you and love you. Also, mom and dad had an open house for all of our friends to see you and everybody got the chance to hold, feed, and love you and were all touched by your beauty and cuteness. Mom also took you to the doctor, where you had some shots and of course were loved by everyone in the office. All through these times you were such a good, calm, and sweet little baby.

As of right now you are sleeping well at night, waking up only for food a couple times per night. Your screaming has diminished a bit, and you have started to be more aware of your surroundings. You still scream while in the car, and mommy and daddy understand that you don't like it, but you will get used to it as time goes on. Your new favorite positions are on daddy's knee facing the windows so that you can see the world, and up on the football chair in daddy's office. Mommy has also been playing with you on the floor and having you crawl to her. You're continuing to down every bottle that we give to you, making it very clear when you want some FOOD.

We love the little cooing noises that you make when you are eating your food, we love the way that you give a little whine when you aren't really upset but just want to let us know that you are there, and we love it when you breathe fast and get excited. Mommy and daddy love to sing to you, and daddy especially loves singing to you up in his office and listening to the Red Sox while he holds you, his own little angel, so close to him and protecting you. The gift of your love means more to us every day, and you will always be our little baby. We will always be there for you when you cry in the night, are upset, or need some love and support, no matter when or where that is. Taking care of you and watching you grow is the best job in the world, and you should never ever forget that we will always love you unconditionally. All of your special traits and little things that you do that we love so much make you the most wonderful daughter in the world.

Love,

Dad and Mom

Considering Adoption?

2009-06-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

I just received an email from Beth, our social worker, with some information about JFS's upcoming adoption seminars. If you are considering adoption and would like to know if it is right for you, I can't recommend these seminars enough. This time last year, we attended one, and less than a year later, our daughter was home!

Adoption with Love by JFS will host 3 workshops in July. The workshop will offer families considering adoption information on:

Adoption Homestudies
Birthparent counseling
Agency versus Parental Placement Adoption in Virginia
Transracial Adoption
The Advantages of Ongoing Contact with Birthparents
Tips for creating your Dear Birthmom Letter/Family Profile Book
Making Adoption Affordable
A Panel Discussion with Successful Adoptive Parents*

These workshops will be held at the JFS offices at 6718 Patterson Avenue, Richmond,
Virginia 23226.

Sunday, July 19, 2009 from 2:00 - 4:00 p.m.
Thursday, July 23, 2009 from 12:00 - 1:00 p.m.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009 from 5:30 - 7:30 p.m.

Please call (804) 282-5644 for more information or to reserve your spot!

*There will be no adoptive parent panel on July 23.

If you attend the seminar on July 28th, you will see some familiar faces ;-D

First Post-Placement Visit

2009-06-02T13:15:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, the Kosior Three trooped down to Richmond to meet with Beth at JFS for our first post-placement meeting. We weren't sure what to expect, but it was a great meeting.

First off, it was exciting to introduce Leah to Beth. It's hard to believe, but it hasn't even been a year since we had our first meeting with her. Our adoption has gone so well that none of us can believe how quickly and smoothly it went.

The meeting was a mixture of checking in on Leah, checking in on us, and giving us advice and information about transracial adoption.

The Leah stuff was pretty straight forward--how much she weighs, how long she is, her head circumference, how she's been sleeping and eating, how she is interacting with us and with other people. Had we heard from Tasha, how that was going.

The us stuff was a little unexpected and gave me some things to think about! We talked about how adoptive families often don't feel they have the right to complain if they are tired or just having a bad day, because people say, "Well, this is what you wanted for so long, how can you complain about it?" I mentioned feeling pressure because I was aware of what Tasha had given up and how much faith and trust she was putting in us to raise Leah in her place. When things go wrong or not exactly as I had planned, I feel like I'm letting down everyone who believed in us as parents--the people who wrote us references, Tasha, Beth, Colleen, ourselves... But Beth helped me to put things into perspective and kind of admonished me not to be so hard on myself--which was a message I needed to hear!

We talked about transracial adoption a bit as well. Beth made a couple of recommendations for us--the DVD Adopted by Bob Lee and the book Beyond Good Intentions by Cheri Register. She had already given us some information from the Rainbow Kids website. It's hard to think of these types of issues popping up. When I look at Leah, I see Leah--I don't see black Leah and at this point, I don't think she sees white Mama. But we do have to be prepared because eventually the world will impress upon her the differences between us and better that she be ready and we be ready to help guide her through it. I've found a number of books, articles, and websites on transracial adoption and it looks like we've got an interesting road ahead of us, no matter if we have the best case scenario or the worst. Time to get ready for whatever comes our way!

So that was it! We set up our next appointment for August 29th at our house. When Beth was here last, there was a rabbit living in Leah's bedroom so it'll be nice to show her the new digs! (Hopefully Joe gets the mural painted before then.) I wasn't really nervous about it and now I'm glad I wasn't. It was like a conversation with a much wiser friend.

Reports from the Front

2009-06-02T05:48:00.000-07:00

Last night, I went out to book club and I left Leah home with Michael. It was the first time I've left her with him and him alone for longer than a couple hours. I was delighted to return home to "The Little Baby Reports" in my email in box. Sounds like Leah went pretty easy on him!

The Little Baby Report #1 [18:00 - 19:30]

For the first 15 minutes or so I had her on her back on the football chair while I washed, checked e-mail, and read the news. Not ONE scream during this time, a little whimpering, but not one scream. From about 1820 to 1900, we listened to music with me holding her. No pacifier, no screaming, she was excellent.

Right now it is 1930, I have the Yankee game on, and she is safely lying on the football chair, on her stomach, with her pacifier in her mouth. Still, no screaming at all. I keep patting her and checking her every couple of minutes. Plan is still to feed/change her at 2000 and 2200.

The Little Baby Report #2 [19:30 - 21:15]

From 1930 to about 1945 she slept silently on the football chair with her pacifier inserted. She then woke up and started a little whimpering. I said “OK, I’ll go make you some food” and went down to make the bottle since I figured I’d better do it now while she was relatively quiet. She then proceeded to fall back asleep until around 2045, when she woke up whimpering. I then changed her, having no trouble at all, and then I fed her from 2050 to around 2105. She knocked the bottle out of her hands a couple of times, since she was waving her arms around, I dropped it on the floor and had to put her down. She didn’t like that, but she did NOT scream. It is now 2120 and I have her on her back again, she is kicking up a bit of a fuss, but not quite time yet to roll her over. I want her to have time and exercise on her back.

She has been wonderful. Most of the time on the football chair without even making a sound. I changed and fed her at 0850, and depending on when you get home will do it again if needed. The worries/nervousness has completely evaporated. I didn’t get frustrated at all and it was very nice.

Just a reminder to do the wax things for the hearing aides. I put the dirty bottles on the right-hand side of the sink, and I also emptied the trash. I hope that you had a wonderful time with the girls Suzin. I am enjoying my time here with her.

Isn't She Lovely?

2009-05-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

Today we went berry picking for an outing with Cindy, Manda, Wendy, and their kids. I took this picture of Leah looking visionary and it is now a favorite picture. And proof positive that she can open her eyes if she feels like it!

Changes!

2009-05-25T04:00:00.000-07:00

Leah's had a big week this past week. She is now a lot happier to play on the floor on her playmat. In fact, whenever she gets fussy during the day, I tend to try putting her on the floor first, and that's usually what she wants. It's kind of sad that she doesn't want to be cuddled quite so much, but exciting too that she's growing and stretching and ready to explore the world a little bit more. She's so cute kicking her feet out while she plays and in her stroller she swings her arms all over the place like she's conducting her own personal symphony.

She's also started babbling, cooing, and even giggling on occasion. She used to have two modes: scream and quiet. Now she makes happy little noises, smiles when she sees us, and is turning into a little chatterbox when she's playing.

We've also discovered that she's very ticklish on her feet, chin, and her sides. It's a sure way to get a smile out of her with a little tickle.

She is sleeping wonderfully--as long as her schedule isn't disrupted too much during the day, she will sleep 5 or 6 hours at a stretch and go back to sleep for another couple of hours after getting her belly filled up.

Being a mom has been wonderfully gratifying--much better than I ever dreamed it would be, and I thought it'd be pretty darned amazing. And it's nice that everyone else seems to agree that we've gotten a total prize :-) She's such a charmer!

Phase 3 Begins!

2009-05-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

We heard from our social worker, Beth, today. She has received the court order that will allow her to go ahead and schedule her mandated visits with us to make sure that Leah's progressing and we're doing everything we can to be good parents for her! This is really exciting--it means that all our paperwork was submitted and now we can do these visits and march on towards the finalization of the adoption this fall or winter.

Our first meeting with Beth is next week in Richmond. We haven't seen her really since last summer, so it'll be great to see her again and to introduce her to Leah!

You will recall that we will have 3 visits total. It's exciting to have this phase under way and hopefully have it all go smoothly so we can finalize the adoption!

Got Milk?

2009-05-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

Those Lips!

2009-05-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

They absolutely slay me! She is totally done in from a long night keeping us up!

Mother's Day 2009

2009-05-10T12:54:00.001-07:00

What a Difference A Month Makes...

2009-05-08T07:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Leah,

One month ago, you burst into the world literally kicking and screaming. Our lives have never been the same since. This time a year ago, we found ourselves in the depths of despair, and now we spend our days discussing if either of us ever thought it was possible to be this happy, to love another person this much.

You are growing so fast! No longer a little 7 pounder with scrawny legs, you now break 9 pounds and have gained three-quarters of an inch. You have three chins and your cheeks are threatening to overtake the rest of your face. And as Daddy likes to point out, you are getting a belly! Your hair is most certainly your crowning glory, everyone comments on it still, and it's so soft and fluffy that no one can help running their fingers through it, us included. Your lips are so kissable, and you make the most hilarious faces--impudent, happy, sassy, angry, and let's not forget the so-called "Dum-Dum Face", which your mother takes great delight in (we need to get that one on camera yet!). Your legs are fine and strong, your feet perfect with ten wonderful little toes that get cold at the slightest hint of a breeze. You have razor sharp fingernails that no amount of cutting can tame and what a grip your little fingers have on everything! And let's not forget those lungs--you've got some real firepower behind you when you get vexed! The neighbors claim not to hear you, but we suspect they're just being nice!

Your personality is really something to see! Grown men leave their jobs to come and gaze at you, mechanics, chefs, waiters, they all want a peek and they all say the same thing: "Seeing her makes me want to have another one." Old ladies caress your hair and marvel at your perfect hands, telling Mama about their grandchildren with tears in their eyes. And you're such a good baby, no matter who holds you, you don't kick up a fuss, unless of course it's time for a meal.

Feeding you is such a kick! The happy little sounds you make only when you are eating are something we'll never forget. We love how you get so excited when you're eating that you shake your head back and forth, mouth opening ever wider as if you're trying to suck the entire bottle down your throat. Your post-prandial belches have a true air of satisfaction and make us feel as if the Queen herself could have dined on that bottle with true pleasure.

You are the most special little girl in the world. Being your parents for only a month has already been the biggest privilege of our lives. It was fate that we found each other, but it was destiny that we found you.

All our love,
Mama and Daddy

Thank You Book & Open House

2009-05-07T12:51:00.000-07:00

Today I started sending out cards to people for the thank you book for Tasha. If you would like to get in on that action, kindly send me an email with your home address and I will send you a card for the book. I am even enclosing return postage so you don't have to hunt for a stamp!

If you are coming to the open house on May 30th, we will have all the supplies there for making a card and including it in the album. If you want the card early to decorate at home with your own supplies and are local, I can make arrangements to get the card to you in advance.

Also, to anyone who didn't get the Evite, our open house is officially scheduled for May 30th from 1-4pm. If you'd like to be added to the Evite to get the address, kindly send me your email address. We respectfully ask that no one arrive early or leave late. Leah runs a tight ship! Also, no gifts required, your presence is present enough.

Dad Funnies

2009-05-07T04:13:00.000-07:00

Sunday, I left Michael and Leah together to run some errands. I needed to clean out my state car to prepare it for departure from my life, and then wanted to go to Walmart to get some pictures printed and then do the grocery shopping. I thought it would be some good Daddy-Daughter bonding time.

When she was here, my mom suggested that our house is too quiet and we should play music more often to keep Leah's mind stimulated. I mentioned this to Michael as I was leaving, since he enjoys spending time in his office and we have lots of MP3's on the computer. So he decided to play her some tunes.

Well, the state car thing took a while and then I took a while in Walmart, so I was gone 2 hours before I even did the grocery shopping. As I was pulling out of Walmart, I gave Michael a call to check in.

Me: How's it going over there?
Him (raspily): Are you coming home? It's been over 2 hours!
Me: Do you need me to come home?
Him ("): I've been singing to her for 2 1/2 hours!

Awww, he couldn't even talk. SO CUTE!

******************************************************

Yesterday Michael came home from work. Leah and I were upstairs. He found her, gave me a hug, patted Leah on the head and said, "What a specimen!"

HAHAHA

Love him!

Can't Believe It, But...

2009-05-07T04:07:00.000-07:00

...guess who decided to sleep through the night last night!? Yup! I don't know if it was the shot, the excitement of LOST, or all the screaming she did all day, but she must have really worn herself out, because she went to sleep at 11:00 and didn't wake up till 6:30. You can bet we had to step lively to change her and feed her the instant she was awake, and I was in a blind panic when I woke up at 6:00 and realized that she hadn't made a peep. I went into her room to make sure everything was A-OK, and she was sleeping like the little angel she is.

She's dozing now, so I'm going to take a shower. Lord only knows what wonders this day has in store!

Today's Update!

2009-05-06T16:49:00.000-07:00

Today Leah had her first doctor's appointment with our chosen health professional for her. It was a hard choice--we had a lot of great recommendations. Pediatricians are one thing that people are totally passionate about! Ultimately, though, we decided to stick with our family practice in Fairfax. It took me years to find a doctor I actually like and feel comfortable seeing, and as a bonus, I like all of Dr. Leonard's associates, so I called up there. I was told Dr. Leonard isn't taking on any more patients but was offered a choice of two of his associates. We settled on Dr. Kathleen Crane, whose specialty is listed as pediatrics. I saw her a year or two ago for a sinus infection and thought she was great, a little less militant than the other associate we were offered, so she was it! You can find them at www.fpfairfax.com if you need a doctor, I can't recommend them highly enough.

Leah, as you all know by now, HATES riding in the car. She screams whenever the car stops. The minute we are moving, she settles down, but if the car stops for any reason--getting gas, a red light, a stop sign, I am waiting patiently for a squirrel to cross the street--she freaks. And you know Virginia, we've got nothing if it's not traffic lights, and my luck is to always hit them red! UGH! So anyway, we did fine till we hit Fairfax and then she was unhappy while we went through the lights. The weird thing is, the minute I take her car seat out of the car, she settles right down. And thus it was when we arrived. I pulled the carseat out of the car and she went to sleep. Weirdo baby!

First problem of the day was that I seem to have lost my insurance card. I got Mike to fax a copy of his up to them, so that was fine. The appointment went rather well, although I forgot her discharge records, so I will bring them next time so they have a complete history in their files. The nurse brought her in and weighed and measured her. This morning before we left I was looking at her and I thought she was getting a little bit chubby, but I was surprised to discover she now weighs 9 pounds 4 ounces! And she is now 21 inches long. Faye, the nurse, said she hoped she didn't have to give her a shot today and then we met with the doctor.

Dr. Crane gave her a thorough going over. She was surprised to hear that we weren't seeing Dr. Leonard and I told her that the front desk told me that he wasn't accepting new patients. She said she didn't think that was true and she would check for us. I told her that was fine but as long as Leah was seen there, I didn't really care too much. And even though it's been a while, she remembered seeing me for my infection, which I thought was pretty awesome!

Dr. Crane pronounced that Leah is healthy as a horse. She is very alert and quite strong in the legs. She said that we are off to a great start with her and to keep doing what we are doing--her sleep schedule is great, her baby acne is clearing up nicely, her heart and lungs are good, she has good circulation, the whole 9 yards.

And then it was determined it was time for her second hepatitis shot. I felt badly for Faye, I felt badly for Leah, but I was worried for me. I have an unsettling history of fainting when I see needles. So Dr. Crane suggested I give Leah a bottle while we waited, which Leah only too happily partook of and then Faye arrived with the needle, fretting. She showed me where to hold Leah and prepped her little leg and then it was showtime. Under the circumstances, I thought it would be cool to make a little joke, so I said to the nurse, "Just don't miss and hit me instead" which frankly was pretty brave of me to joke like that. But Faye was so focused, she said, "If I miss and hit anyone, it'll be myself." So anyway, I kept my eyes on Leah's face, and good thing because I got to see that "WTF?!" look that hit her face the minute the needle went in. Literally, that look said it all. And then she opened her mouth and screamed like hell. And wouldn't stop screaming, poor baby. I hugged her and snuggled her, but I was paying for it, you can be sure, and consequently, she screamed the entire ride home, not caring at all that the car was moving. I came home and we both took a nap. Next month's appointment involved 4 shots, and I've already told Michael that he can be damned sure he's taking the day off for that one. I'm going to have a heart attack.

So she's fat, healthy, and partially immunized. She and her daddy are upstairs having some daddy and girl time. In about 30 minutes, she's going to watch LOST with me, and then I'll see if she wants to go to bed or if we're going to pull an all nighter. Busy day tomorrow--dump run, post office run, company for an hour or two in the afternoon, so I want her to be fresh, since she'll be in the car a lot. We'll see what happens!

Dad's Learning Curve

2009-05-02T18:34:00.001-07:00

This weekend Michael has taken a really active role in learning how to care for Leah. We've been debating Leah coming with me Monday to book club, which Michael is in favor of because he is nervous about changing diapers. I would like to go to book club free and clear, without worrying about packing up Leah and her gear, but I suspect I might lose out on this debate this month. But I don't mind so much.

However, having waited so long for Leah it is hard to let go and let Dad have some needed Dad time! I admit it. I hate putting her down on the floor to play, I hate letting other people hold her, I just want to love her up for a while.

But this weekend, we decided Dad was going to be more in charge. He's learning how to change diapers, first and foremost, and he's doing a great job. It's a definite challenge when you can't see what you're doing, so we're starting off easy on the not-so-messy diapers and he'll graduate eventually. Tomorrow (Sunday) we'll transfer to the cloth diapers, which should be interesting and a whole new ballgame. I'm nervous about it, but since we have lots of disposables left, we're going to use them for "on the go" diapers and stick to cloth at home. I'm excited to see how it goes. The cloth ones are washed and assembled, ready to roll.

Tonight Michael is also going to try soothing her and putting her to bed. So far it's been tough--she's a little cranky tonight, but it's also early, she usually goes to bed around 10:30. He enjoys rocking and cuddling her, so I'm sure she'll settle down eventually and let him put her to bed.

Tomorrow he'll also work on getting a bottle ready. And once that's done, I'll be able to leave them together with full confidence. Which I intend to do for at least an hour tomorrow to clean out my state vehicle.

It's fun watching them bond together and makes it easier to let go just a little bit. She's a real daddy's girl. My mom is leaving tomorrow so having him feel more confident about helping will be a big boost to me too!

What's Next?

2009-05-02T18:30:00.001-07:00

We got an email from Beth, our wonderful social worker, who set us straight on what's next. Turns out that (like usual) I have my facts screwed up! So here it is straight from the horse's mouth:

Since the adoption is being finalized in VA, we go by VA standards for post placement. Once I get the Interlocutory Order, I have 6 months to complete 3 post placements. These visits cover basic things like bonding and attachment, the baby’s schedule, developmental milestones, medical issues. Two are in the office and one is in the home. Usually 1 and 3 are in the office, 2 one is in your home. After I complete the 3rd one then, I send a Report of Visitation to the Court, that gives my endorsement for the adoption to be finalized. After that you are done!! (and then we start all over again??)

So there you have it! Three more visits :-) I'm excited too because Beth asked me to do a little write up for their waiting parents newsletter and also asked if we'd be willing to speak on a panel. Our adoption experience has been so overwhelmingly positive that honestly I wish I could get into adoption myself somehow for a career. I'll have to think about it. Regardless, I'm excited about these two opportunities.

We also got Leah's first doctor's appointment set up with her doctor here in Virginia. She'll be seeing Dr. Kathleen Crane on June 3rd. I'm sad that Mike's and my doctor is not currently accepting new patients, but Dr. Crane is in the same practice and I've seen her before and REALLY liked her a lot.

Court and Surprises!

2009-04-30T19:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, well, surprise surprise, I am backed up on blogging! Looking back over everything, this blog is a great place to keep memories of our adventure in adopting, and I wanted to be sure to blog about Tuesday.

This week was always going to be crazy! It is my last week of work for my job, and I knew it was the point of no return in terms of going to get my last bits of paperwork done and finishing up at the office. Because my mom is here to help out this week, and she also wanted to spend some time with my sister, our driving schedules were starting to look like Grand Central Station. Should I take Leah and spend the night at Judy's on Sunday? And if so, would my mom then spend the night as well and come to my office to get Leah from me after work? Because I had to stay over at Judy's again Monday night so I could leave bright and early to pick up Tasha to go to court.

Finally, we decided to be bold and ask Tasha to spend the night with us on Monday. Now I know, I know many of you probably think that is the nuttiest thing you've ever heard. And if I had suspected I'd have this kind of relationship with my daughter's birthmother, I'd have thought I was totally out to lunch too! But we've just been extremely fortunate to have made this match and been able to have such a good relationship with Tasha. The three of us call it "The Match Made In Heaven". So I sent Tasha a text and asked if she would like to come spend the night with us and she said she would. So I spent Sunday night with Leah at Judy's, went to work with Leah who was the hit of the office, and then we drove to Glen Burnie to pick Tasha up and bring her back to Fredericksburg. Now even I admit this is probably a little bit past the 'normal' birth parent/adoptive parent relationship, but as the old saying goes, "What is normal anyway?!" It worked for us. My mom spent Monday cleaning the house and preparing for Tasha's arrival and we got back around 9:00. She loved the house, loved Leah's room, said TomTom was the biggest rabbit she ever saw in her life, and we all ate chocolate chip cookies and then tried to go to bed.

I say tried because Leah decided that Monday night was the best night ever to throw her first temper tantrum. And I am not kidding when I say this kid was SCREAMIN'! OMG. After about 45 minutes, I just couldn't do it any more. I had been up since 5:00am, it was now midnight, I'd been driving all over God's green Earth, I had NOT gotten my work done so I was facing another day in the office, it was NUTTY. So I told Michael to please go downstairs and get my mom. She came upstairs, blinking in the light, and I sobbed, "I think the Chinese tainted her formula with paint chips" and thrust Leah into my mom's arms. I was crying, Michael was crying, Leah was crying. My mother said, "There are no paint chips in her formula!" and I said, "Well then the aliens have come down and swapped babies because my baby has never acted like this before." After about an hour, Leah sort of settled down, but the minute I put her in her crib, bang, she was off crying again. So I was like, "Screw this, it's nearly 2am, and I'm exhausted" and I picked her up, put her in bed with us, and she went right to sleep.

I woke up four hours later so totally out of it that my first thought was, "Who put this baby in my bed?" When she is in a bad mood now, she has been affectionately dubbed "Paint Chip Baby".

So Tuesday morning we all get up, and by 10:00 we realize we need to start thinking about getting ready to leave for the court date. I am a planner, I admit, I like to have A PLAN in place, but my mom is an uber-planner and wanted to know everything we had planned for the day--who was going in which cars, what we would do afterwards, etc. I honestly couldn't get past arriving at the courthouse. I just couldn't. I really had no idea what to expect from the hearing, I didn't know who was meeting us there, we didn't know if Tasha's attorney would be coming, the whole 9 yards. So I couldn't be much help. My mom feels better in times of stress knowing exactly what's going to happen and having a firm grip on the situation. In times of stress, I just give up and let nature take its course. It was kind of entertaining.

I had determined that we needed to leave at 11:00 to go to the courthouse. My internal clock told me this would be the right time to leave, so by 11:00, after 3 wardrobe changes on my part (new dress required a slip which I didn't have, suit was way too big, third choice suit was too big but at least it stayed up), we headed out--my mom in her car, Tasha, Leah, Mike, and I in our car. We made it to the courthouse around 11:20 and got past the metal detectors by 11:30, but had no idea what to do after that. Tasha found a list on the wall of all the court cases for civil court, but we weren't listed. Finally, a sheriff took pity on us and told us that we needed to go to the juvenile court clerk to find out which courtroom we were going to go to, and it turned out we were going to the basement court room. We went to get on the elevator, only it's a trick elevator, when you try to go from the basement to the first floor, it automatically goes to the second floor. So we had to wait for it to come back down before we could get on to go to the basement (the stairwells are protected and you need a special badge to go up and down them).

We got the basement and there was an austere little waiting room down there--about 15 chairs arranged in a square. At least we knew that our case was for that day, because there was NOBODY down there--it was dead quiet and a completely uninspiring decor. I guess I pictured adoption court as being kind of warm and fuzzy. But as you can see from this picture, it was deadsville. Finally a couple of deputies came out and asked if we were there for the Baby Girl X case, and we said yes, and that put our minds at ease a bit, since they were expecting us. They admired Leah for a while and then disappeared and then Colleen, our attorney arrived. She introduced herself to Tasha and I introduced my mom and the next thing out of her mouth was, "We have a small glitch."

Well, I don't have to tell you, my heart sunk to my shoes, my mother about had a coronary, and for once in his life, Michael was struck speechless. It turns out that the guardian ad litem they had selected was not actually on the list of approved GALs for the county and would not be able to act on Leah's behalf that day. Colleen was halfway through explaining that we just had to get a new court order to do something when a voice behind her said, "You have a GAL and I'm it!" and our hero, Brenda, introduced herself as the pinch hitter. We all started breathing again. Colleen spent some time with Brenda explaining that Leah's father had never replied to the letters sent to his home and getting Mike, Tasha, and I to all sign a paper requesting that the courts grant the custody transfer. And then over the loudspeaker, we were called in to the court room, at which point Leah decided to start screaming. It was nearly impossible to hear what the hell was going on, and finally after a couple minutes of Colleen trying to talk over Leah's wailing, I told my mom, "Mom! Just feed her!" So Mom slapped a bottle in Leah's mouth, and she was happy as a little clam.

The next part was for Colleen to read over the legal agreements with Tasha. Tasha was sworn in and asked a bunch of questions, such as did she know she had alternatives to the adoption including keeping the child and raising her herself, did she want or had she been offered counseling, was she sure of who the birth father was, did she belong to any Native American tribes, was she being coerced into the adoption by anyone in any way, etc. Once she answered all their questions to her satisfaction, she was given the court documents and asked to read them and sign them. Then Colleen explained to her that she had two options for that day, she could choose to terminate her rights effective immediately or she could choose to retain a 7 day waiting period during which she could change her mind at any time. She elected to terminate her rights immediately.

Once she signed everything, Colleen gave all the forms to Judge Daltan and then Brenda had a few questions and Colleen discussed the birth father with the judge. We all had a good laugh over the fact that FedEx confirmed delivery and that the package was signed for by a 'receptionist' at the man's residence, which was presumed to be his wife. Everyone expected that Mister had a real bad day after that.

After Brenda agreed that everything looked to be in order, the judge agreed and signed off on everything. With his signature, both Tasha's and the birthfather's rights were immediately terminated and Leah was put into our custody legally for a period of one year. Colleen then explained to us that all this did was set the clock ticking for us to have our social worker visits and that in about 6 months, we would appear again before the circuit courts to have the custody arrangements made permanent. This gives the courts time to make sure we are not abusive or neglectful and that Leah will be fine under our care.

A new court date was set for April 27, 2010 (again, we will go to court long before this) and the judge wished us well and sent us out. We packed up Leah and headed out. When we got back to that stupid waiting area, the dams burst. Tasha stepped towards me, handed me Leah, and said, "Congratulations, Susan." I ignored the baby, wrapped my arms around Tasha and started to weep. Having now been a mom for 3 glorious weeks, I can appreciate the act of courage it took that wonderful young woman to do what she did. I honestly can't imagine doing it myself. I heard her say, "are you OK, Mike?" and I grabbed him and the three of us crowded around Leah, hugging and crying while Mom and Colleen looked on. What do you say when "Thank you" does not even begin to cover it? We told her how much we loved her, we thanked her a million times, and we just hugged her and all of us were crying. Finally we all got it together, and Colleen stepped forward and said it really was wonderful that we had such a fantastic relationship and how unusual it was.

And we thanked her of course for all of her hard work. Seriously, there is no way you can find a better attorney than her for an adoption. We had to go upstairs to get the official decrees from the clerk, and once they were there, we were ready to leave, custody order in hand! We knew Tasha wanted to get back to Maryland ASAP as her 2 year old was coming home and *drum roll* because she (Tasha) had gotten married last week and her new husband was missing her! So we all stopped at McDonald's for a quick lunch, and then Michael, Leah, Tasha, and I hauled butt up to Maryland. Once we got to Tasha's place we went in for a bit, fed and changed Leah (who still HATES being in the car) and then it was time to go. It was bittersweet, but I am sure we will see Tasha again, and I've already heard from her, so I didn't shed any tears at saying "See you later" (we didn't say good bye :-D).

Michael, Leah, and I rolled it on south and I decided to obey the letter if not the spirit of the law by taking my family of 3 onto the HOV lanes of 95. WOW WAS IT AWESOME! We rolled past all the traffic on 95 at 4pm and made it home before 5:00. I'm not traveling 95 without my hubby and my daughter ever again. YEAH BOYS!

So we were rolling up our street and I was thinking, "Those kids better have cut the lawn today!" and as we got close to the house, I started seeing the kids moving around the lawn and I was feeling good. But then I noticed something crazy was sitting in the yard, and I said, "What the hell?!" Michael was grinning ear to ear. I said, "Honey! Someone put a giant sign in our yard!" And then I nearly drove off the road and into our neighbor's yard. I was like, "AWWWW!" because the sign is just SO CUTE and Michael said, "yes, Amy Wells took care of that!" and I was like, "OH MY GOD! AMY!?" and I got all misty-eyed. And then I damned near drove past our driveway.

So once we were inside, my mom told me all about Amy's cousin coming up to the house and installing the sign, and apparently while she was here, our neighbor Jean came over to see the baby (surprise, we were in Maryland, poor thing has stopped by twice and no baby!) after seeing the sign go up. Mom handed me all the paperwork about the sign which I immediately read to see if I might be able to keep it, but there was a pick up date on the slip (Damn it!!!! I LOVE THE SIGN AND WANT TO STEAL IT :-D)

So once the kids were done with the front yard, I told my mom, "I want pictures with the sign!" I gathered up Leah and Michael and we went out front and took some pictures. I didn't even want to waste time putting my shoes on--out we went! I just stood admiring it for a long time.

Then we took our first family "portrait". I gave my mom a little artistic direction, she was getting all of us into the shots, so she'd take a picture and I'd say, "no, zoom it closer!" and she'd take another one, and I'd say, "No, zoom it closer!" until we got this:

Which I absolutely LOVE. :-)

That night to celebrate the fact that on Sunday, Leah's umbilical cord stump FINALLY fell off, we decided to give her her first bath. Wash off the dust of the past and start her with her new family squeaky clean. Um, yeah, she pretty much hates us now.

We got it all on videotape, which I loved. It was absolutely hilarious, the level of her outrage over that bath. When she's unhappy, the entire world knows she's unhappy. I can't wait to give her another one :-)

So that was our court day. Wednesday I went back to work alone to finish up what I could of my caseload and pack up my desk and head out. It felt so weird. But it also felt really, really good. I have been anxious for this day to come, and I know that I will see my co-workers again, so I can't get too gloomy about it. I arrived home to a beautiful flower arrangement from my wonderful in-laws. Don't you love the little duck planter?

Today my mom and I gathered supplies for our freezer cooking fun, she made spaghetti sauce, and we took Leah for a walk. I've noticed that Leah sleeps A LOT better when she gets a walk in the fresh air and she sleeps TERRIBLE when she doesn't, so I'm attempting to walk her every night unless the weather is not good. She more or less sleeps through the walks, which is fine, but her nighttimes are much more mom-friendly.

Speaking of which, I'm going to hit the hay while I can still get a couple of hours sleep! G'night all!

Meet Tasha

2009-04-29T20:29:00.000-07:00

The beautiful young woman in the picture with us is our birthmom, Tasha. She is an incredible person, and I hope Leah inherits even half of her strength.

It Is Done

2009-04-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

We are officially Leah's parents. B waved her 7 day right to revoke and we were approved at 12:15 this afternoon. Dropped B back home, drove home ourselves and now we are ready for the rest of our lives to begin.

What this means is that B can no longer change her mind. Michael and I are on the hook for another 6 months--we will have 2 visits from a social worker, and then will return to court this fall to be made officially Leah's parents. We view this as a formality, we fully expect to 'pass'.

Happy day!

Today is A Big Day

2009-04-28T06:42:00.000-07:00

Today is court day. Our hearing is at 12:00 for B to sign her rights way and for us to take legal custody of Leah. Hopefully by 1:00 it will all be over. Keep your fingers crossed for us that it all goes smoothly!

Book of Gratitude for B.

2009-04-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

I have decided to go ahead and make the gratitude book for B. I found an awesome package of 200 multicolored cards at Target, and what we'll do is send a card to anyone who wants to participate but won't be able to make the open house (tentatively scheduled for either May 30th or June 6th [preferences anyone?]) and you can decorate it, write on it, whatever you want to do, and send it back no later than June 1. I will even include postage so you have no excuse :) If you are local and want me to drop it off to you, I can do that as well. If you don't feel creative, you can drop me an email with your sentiments, I'll print it out and decorate a card for you. Please keep it fairly brief, the cards are 3X5 and we'll only be using 1 side.

Otherwise, at the open house, we will have markers, stickers, fancy scissors, etc. for you to decorate your card and have some fun expressing your gratitude to our wonderful birth mother. By then, I will be publishing her name publicly--she's given me her permission, but I don't want to do it till after the court date is over--so you'll be able to include her actual name as well.

Let me know if you'd like a card and would like to participate! We'll be sending out an Evite for the open house ASAP.

Two And a Half Weeks!?

2009-04-24T19:12:00.001-07:00

This week has been such a whirlwind, I don't know how it happened that Leah is now 16 days old and growing like crazy! According to our baby scale, she tops eight pounds now. Considering the doctor was concerned that she wasn't gaining any weight, and considering the diaper messes, I'd say we have a bit less to worry about now.

She's had a good week. She is much more alert this week, smiles a lot more, looks around a lot more, and is awake a lot more. We discovered that while she continues to hate riding in the car and in her little chair that rocks, we loves the baby swing and the stroller. We've walked the block every day and she always enjoys falling asleep in the fading sunlight and getting some fresh air.

She also had her first "play date" at Chick-Fil-A this week, where we joined Manda and Cindy and their little ones for lunch, along with a friend, Wendy. Free food is always good, and Chick Fil A has free entrees on Thursdays here. I hope to continue enjoying that! We got good suggestions about things we should try, like a baby sling versus a Moby Wrap--I'd been considering getting a Moby Wrap, but Manda assures me they are HOT. So now I'm reconsidering.

Last night, Leah had an awesome night. She got up every 2 hours like clockwork, but she ate and promptly went right back to sleep. She slept like that from midnight till about 9am, and slept in her own bed too. Consequently, Mom slept a lot better too. I hope the trend continues.

This afternoon, I felt like an axe murderer when I changed her and cleaned out her umbilical cord (yes, the freakin' thing is STILL attached--they way they cut it so close, it's all but impossible to clean and get the alcohol in there, I cannot wait till it falls off!), and she was screaming like I was murdering her. I wound up spilling half a bottle of alcohol all over the dresser and she peed all over everything to show how royally infuriated she was. Never mind that in addition to all that, Huggies diapers apparently SUCK and when she had a MAJOR diaper filling incident, that too leaked everywhere, including up into the umbilical cord area and all over her clothing. It was not a fun mess to clean up, and her screaming the whole time and Michael demanding that she calm down just put me over the edge. I handed her to him, he went downstairs, and the two of them spent 3 hours together while I cried and slept it off. (Sorry, Elizabeth, that I disappeared on our AOL chat this afternoon, but that's what happened!)

Still, all I have to do is look at her and I just melt. I really can't put into words how much I love this little gal and how much she filled a big hole in my heart. Once Tuesday comes and goes, and with it our court date, I am going to heave a big sigh of relief and be ready to throw the biggest celebration ever. I am hopeful that B. will sign away her rights with finality (she can hold onto a 7 day waiting period on Tuesday, or she can just agree to be done with the whole thing and waive her 7 days) on Tuesday and then except for the formality of 2 social worker visits and a final court date in the fall, we are done.

So that's what's new from here. I'm glad my mom arrives tomorrow. I know I've managed basically on my own for the last 2 weeks, but it'll be nice to have back up. Then we will have a week alone and then my mother-in-law and father-in-law will arrive, which will also be so helpful. And then another week and Uncle Mike and Auntie Lesley arrive. May is going to be an awesome month. Lots of company, lots of lovin', lots of help! I might even be able to tame my yard at some point. :-)

Doing Something For B.

2009-04-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have asked me, "What can we do for B?" She has become a real heroine to so many people, most of all to us, that even though people don't know who she is, they want to express their gratitude to her.

Sometime in May, we are planning to host a little open house, and a thought I had was to have some notecards handy where people could write a note to B expressing their feelings for her. I can then compile them into a book and give it to her. She's a tough cookie, but I wish you guys could see her melt when someone says nice things to her--it's clear she loves receiving love and encouragement in a way few people genuinely need and soak it in.

What do you all think? Do you have other ideas? Shoot 'em at me! Also, if you can't make it to the open house but would like to participate, I can get a card to you and you can return it to me by mail so we can include it.

Finding Out

2009-04-21T07:59:00.001-07:00

One of the most dreaded things to happen when we've been on this journey is when people ask us a question about how we will approach a certain issue, we explain our position, and they say, "Oh, you'll find out in a heartbeat that you're dead wrong!"

And then they chuckle at us like we're a couple of knuckleheads who know nothing about raising children.

Two of the "Oh, you'll find out!" issues to hit us have been the issues of co-sleeping and pacifiers. When we've said we're not co-sleeping and we're not using pacifiers, people have laughed at us. But Leah has been home for nearly 2 weeks, and while we've backtracked halfway on pacifiers, I'm proud to report that she sleeps in her room every night and she seems to love us anyway.

How did we backtrack halfway on pacifiers? Well, it seems the little suckers actually help her fall asleep. They gave her one in the hospital, and B. was a big proponent of the thing, and so she got used to having one in her mouth. So at night when we're putting her to bed, we let her suck on a pacifier till she falls asleep. The big issue I have with it is that when she starts to relax and it falls out of her mouth, she starts screaming and freaking out because she doesn't have it in her mouth. So we are trading in a few moments peace for more upset because she has frustration that she can't keep the thing in her mouth. However, a few other people have also pointed out it's easier to break them of a pacifier than it is of them sucking their thumbs, which she has shown a perfect willingness to do if not given her pacifier. So, at night, we give it to her. During the day, we are able to soothe her and quiet her, and she's fine.

As for co-sleeping, it was harder in Maryland and I was really hard on myself. While we were staying there, there was nowhere to really put her if she got upset. The crib was in our room, and there was literally her crib and our bed. Tom hasn't gotten much furniture yet, so there was no place to go sit with her if she got upset. Consequently, I would pick her up to feed her and we'd wind up sitting on the bed. And then, yes, I know, call the mommy police, we were so tired those first couple of days, I'd fall asleep holding her.

Coming home has been much easier. We have the rocking chair where I can hold her and rock her till she falls back to sleep. Sometimes she doesn't want to go back in her bed and I'll think she's asleep and she wakes right back up and wants to be held. What I have discovered thus far is that if I get a nap in the afternoon, it helps me to be able to better handle whatever situation arises at 3AM. Two days ago, I foolishly did not take a nap. Consequently, after 2 hours of rocking, crying, diaper change, feeding, and screaming, I couldn't do it any more. I caved and we went to bed. Last night, because I had taken a nap in the afternoon for a couple of hours while she napped, everything went much more smoothly.

It's still early days, and I'm sure I'll be learning more and more. She's on a schedule of her own making--she is generally awake from 2-5AM and then sleeps till around 11:00. I've got a system worked out with the bottles so I'm not running up and down the stairs a million times, which is also helpful, and we mainly spend our days upstairs, just because it's easier having all the gear necessary for changing her in one spot.

I am enjoying this experience a whole lot more than I thought possible, and just love this little lady with every fiber of my being. Physically I feel a lot better than I expected I would--there's only been one day I was so dog tired I couldn't function, and fortunately it was a day my dad was here and let me sleep. That morning, my breakfast consisted of a full test Mountain Dew. Now I'm back on track. Tonight we make our final pilgrimage to Maryland for her doctor's appointment in the morning, and then I think we're in business except for the court date and attendant trips to pick up B and bring her home afterwards.

I really was nervous that I wasn't going to be able to handle it, but having plans and being organized in advance has been a total lifesaver. Having help from family has been a huge help--can't wait till my mom gets here Saturday, and it was so great that my sister came to stay last night so Michael and I could have our anniversary dinner together and a little quiet time. And of course, where would I be without Michael himself? He reassures me that I'm making good decisions, makes good decisions of his own on Leah's behalf, and we are most definitely on the same page with all of this. Teamwork! Yes!

The Story of Leah's Birth

2009-04-18T06:26:00.001-07:00

A couple of folks have asked to hear how it all went down, so I thought I'd write a post so I could remember myself. The details are already a little murky, so I would like to try and get it fixed in my head before I lose it completely!

Tuesday morning, we woke up thinking that the whole thing had been a false alarm. We knew that B. had a clinic appointment in the afternoon, so we decided to go and see what they had to say and then we planned to go home afterwards. We figured it wasn't a total waste of a trip because at least we got the crib set up and got the baby's stuff moved, and we would be ready to roll when the call did come in and would just have to jump in the car and drive. Michael didn't want to take off time from work unnecessarily, so the plan was to take B. to the clinic, take her home, and we'd go home.

Fate had other plans. B. called us around 10:00 and her exact words were, "I think we've made some progress, I woke up this morning and the bed was all wet." So we asked her what the plan was, and she had said that she called the hospital and they told her not to come in until her appointment at 2:30 anyway. So we decided we would go up there around lunch time to get her and bring her to the hospital.

We called her back around 11:30 to see if she wanted lunch, and she was getting antsy and told us that she had stuff for lunch at her house and could we just come? So we hopped in the car and went over there. Fortunately, it's only a 20 minute ride from Tom's house. When we got there, she was packed. She said she wanted to go early and asked if we wanted some lunch, and we declined. It was at that point it kind of dawned on me that it was happening and so we put her in the car and hauled butt to Baltimore. Once we got there, Baltimore was a total cluster-you-know-what. They had cops out directing traffic around the lights, which in my view is about the worst thing ever, and B was in the backseat, extremely unhappy. I put my hazard lights on hoping that would spur people to action, but no one and nothing moved. It took us 20 minutes to get to Baltimore and another half hour once we were in the city to get to the hospital.

We went to the clinic and they sent us directly upstairs to labor and delivery triage to see if she would be admitted. Michael had to wait downstairs, as only one visitor is permitted at a time in triage, and we saw a boatload of nurses and doctors and midwives in that time. They determined that B's water did in fact break, and she was still at 2cm, but they said, "Congratulations, you're not going home!" They found out about our relationship and the adoption and were thrilled to be a part of it, and so once B was admitted upstairs, I went and got Michael and we went to the laboring room and sat with B. for a while. The hospital social worker, Anita, came down to see and explain the hospital procedures and we gave her what paperwork we had, and she was totally fine with getting with the attorneys, etc. to make sure that everything was in order. Eventually it was determined that Leah would be discharged to B. and then B. would hand her over to us outside the hospital walls, which we all agreed to.

After that, Michael and I decided to go down to the cafeteria for some lunch. Nothing much else was happening, and B was resting and refusing pain medications, so she told us to go while we still could. When we got back, there was really still no progress, she was closing in on 3cm, and it had been over 12 hours since her water broke at 2:00AM (by now it was probably 5pm). I had a funny feeling things were going to be totally slow, and possibly end in a c-section, but I was hoping things went well. 7:00 was the shift change, so we got a new round of nurses and doctors, and B started getting really uncomfortable. Her contractions were steady, but not doing a whole lot. She asked for pain medications through her IV, which they gave her and she fell asleep. They woke her up every couple of hours to check her progress, which she HATED, but by midnight she was still only at 4cm. They gave her 5cm to give her some encouragement, but she was getting kind of pissed and asked for an epidural, so the doctor came in and I am pleased to say I didn't faint while they administered it and I was the one to hold her hands and give her reassurance while it was placed.

Meanwhile, we were watching terrible television, and the "pull out bed/chair" was broken and kept sliding apart into 3 pieces so rest was not easy to come by. Michael opted to stay awake the entire night--he was too excited to sleep. I dozed in the broken chair and when B. had contractions, I would try to help her breathe and relax, as she was getting very, very tense, which wasn't helping at all.

Around 3:00 they came in to check again and she was at 8cm. However, the baby was starting to get distressed--her heartbeat was dropping and the pitocin was not easy for her to tolerate. They monitored it a little while longer and finally decided that they should do a c-section. B was freaking out, shaking and crying, so I just smoothed her hair and gave her a hug and told her we wouldn't let anything bad happen to her and it was going to be OK. (She must have been doubly scared because she didn't have any other supports besides us--we who are two total amateurs at the childbirth game!) She asked me to go with her, and so the medical staff gave me a set of paper scrubs and a mask and told me that I could come into the OR in a bit.

I took one look at the scrubs and was like, "uh-huh, then. No way." The shirt fit fine, if a bit snug, but the pants did not fit at all. To be fair, if I hadn't been wearing jeans, they would have been fine. But over jeans, no way. So the nurses scrambled and tried to find a larger size, but they couldn't, so finally one of the techs grabbed a pair of scissors, told me to put them on as far as I could (got 'em up to my hips!) and then cut the sides so I could get into them the rest of the way. I was waddling like a penguin shoehorned into those suckers, but I went into that OR with 'em on, by God!

They had already started working on B by the time I was allowed in, and frankly, I don't have the world's greatest stomach around blood and needles and scalpels and such. But for some reason, I found this entire experience totally riveting. I sat down next to B's head and she was shaking, so I took her hand and told her everything was OK and she was in good hands. She was holding my hand in a death grip, so I just patted her forehead--the only part of her that was not covered--and kept whispering reassurances to her. Her shaking stopped. The doctors were working fast and I don't know what all they were doing, but they had quite a mess on their hands--lots of blood and suctioning and towels and instruments, but in about 5 minutes after I got in there, the head surgeon said, "Get ready, ladies!" and he gave a tug, and out popped Leah! I don't know if this is totally normal, but that baby's feet were kicking like David Beckham. I said to B, "No wonder all you could feel was kicking all the time!" and she smiled, closed her eyes, and promptly started snoring. Well, what could I do? I burst into tears.

I just couldn't take my eyes off her. The nurses took her over to a bed to get cleaned up and check her vitals, and I just sat and held B's hand and watched them. One of them asked me if I was the mom, but I could not speak, so I just nodded mutely, and they said, "Well get on over here and look at your baby!" B was snoring her head off, so I let go of her hand and went over to the little bed and there was Leah, perfect little Leah. I managed to ask if I could take some pictures and they said I could take as many as I wanted, and this was the first picture of her I took. They were giving her a little oxygen. The oxygen level in her blood was in the low 90's and if it dipped below 90, they'd have had to take her to the NICU, but after a couple of minutes of oxygen, her levels stabilized and she was fine and dandy.

Then they asked if I'd like to hold her. I managed to snuffle out that I needed to sit down first, I was standing on rubbery legs at this point! One of the nurses took the camera, I sat down and they handed me Leah for the first time.

They took her footprints, slapped some ID bracelets on her, and then it was time to leave. I walked out first to catch my breath--the mask was caked with tears and from my nose running and I was a total basket case. They wheeled Leah out a minute later and the nurse asked if we needed to go back to the room before we went to the nursery? I said, "My husband is in there, can he see her?" and they said, "Of course!" so we went to see Michael. He was waiting with a big grin on his face, despite not having slept, it was easy to see how excited he was! We walked in and I said, "Here she is!" and he jumped up and started to look at her.

If I thought I was moved before, it was nothing compared to how I felt when Michael saw her and held her for the first time. He was so tender and gentle and his first question was, "What was the official time?!" The nurse took the camera again and snapped the picture of the three of us together (what's awesome about that picture is the clock on the wall saying 4:20, which is our wedding anniversary!) and then it was time to go to the nursery, so I left Michael again temporarily and went up to the nursery to observe how Leah measured up. After another 30 minutes or so, I came back down and B was back, snoring her head off still, and Michael stood up, and I just grabbed him and we both started bawling. It was just the start of three days of tears, everything either one of us thought of was the cause of more tears.

We left B a note that we loved her and were going home to sleep for real and we'd be back. As a plucky bonus, the garage operators were off duty, so we got to leave without paying! We got home around 6:30 and only slept for about 4 hours before we were up and moving again and on our way back to the hospital. B was so happy to see us, but slept most of the day. Her sister was there, but also left after we arrived. The social worker called mid-day and said that she had spoken to B. and that B had said the only way she made it through was Susan keeping her calm, which really moved me! I started crying all over again. The doctors and nurses kept coming in all day to "see the adoptive parents"--we were something of superstars on the ward because they hadn't seen an open adoption actually work like that in the past and were all moved that we were all on such good terms, which also made me feel really good.

So that's how it went down on April 8, 2009--the best day ever!

Happiness Is...

2009-04-18T05:02:00.001-07:00

...being home.

ICPC Approval

2009-04-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

We just got the call from our attorney: We are approved to go home! We will wait till tonight when the traffic clears, and then we are going to Fredericksburg and not leaving :-) At least till Wednesday...

Give us a couple days to get settled and then you can come visit. SO EXCITED!

Pictures from Leah's Photo Shoot

2009-04-17T07:50:00.001-07:00

We have a court date!

2009-04-15T15:12:00.000-07:00

April 28th, we'll be going to court for the initial change in custody. Spoke with B. and she is ready to roll! We are looking forward to April 28th dawning bright and clear. Fingers crossed it all goes well!

She Smiles!

2009-04-15T04:49:00.001-07:00

Long Night, Good Day

2009-04-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

Last night was a verrrrry long night. Leah woke up at 1:30, and no matter what we did, she would not quit fussing. By 5:00, I thought I was going to lose my mind. Around 4:00, I gave up and came downstairs so I wouldn't wake up Tom or Michael, and when I went back upstairs around 5:30 when it seemed she was settling down, Michael had gotten nervous about what was going on and got up to try and reason with me about going downstairs and him not knowing what was happening, the gist of which seemed to be "She's so small, I got worried." For some reason, this struck me as absolutely hilarious (fatigue?), and I was laughing until I cried, and then I started crying for real. I was just so tired. Leah finally settled down around 6:00 and I got two hours of sleep.

We had to leave the house by 9:00 to get to her doctor's appointment in town today. I swore this would be the last time I was going into Baltimore, but if we don't get a court date soon, it looks like we will be going up there again for her next doctor's appointment next week.

We drove all over the stupid parking garage and every last spot was taken until we hit level 6 and then every spot was 'reserved for physicians' with the added bonus of 'compact cars only'. It was 10:00, which was appointment time, and I was like, "Screw it!" and parked our boat in a compact car/physicians only spot, granting myself a temporary M.D.

The people at the clinic could not have been nicer. We didn't know about her insurance status, because we can't add her to our insurance yet, but they had it well in hand. One phone call to B. to get her SSN and it was all done. The ladies were madly in love with Leah, and in fact, one lady thanked us for reminding her why she did her job! Wow, I was moved, so moved! It made the previous evening's activities fade.

The doctor was so nice. He was a good Polish doctor, and so when he told us that she needs to eat more, I said, "Well, she's being adopted into a good Polish family, she'll soon learn how to eat!" he laughed and asked us not to give her kielbasa and pierogi for at least 6 more months. Ha!

Leah is very, very healthy, she is off to a great start. She is still at 7 lbs. 7.8 oz, which is down from her birth weight, which he said was a bit normal, but after the first week, she should be back to her starting fighting weight, so he asked us to feed her a lot more. He asked if the hospital had told us to stick to a schedule, which we confirmed, and he stated that was a load of hogwash and we should feed her whenever she wants food. He said we adults eat for the wrong reasons (no kidding!) but babies only eat for the right reasons and if she's hungry, we should feed her.

We drove home and my dad was waiting to take us out to lunch. After we got back to the house, he told me I should get some sleep, so he sent me up to bed, which was very much appreciated. I got about 3 1/2 hours sleep this afternoon, which is great . It was my first nap since bringing her home--yesterday was supposed to be my nap day, but by the time we got done running around trying to get all the medical records in order (done!) and stopped in to see B. so Leah could meet her big sister, it was 5pm, time for Leah to meet Tom for the first time and then time for dinner. We've had company pretty much non-stop with the holiday, so there hasn't been a lot of time to catch up on rest. So it felt good that even though today was my one day to spend with my dad, he knew I needed some sleep and told me to get it. I will spend time with him this summer.

I captured a picture of Leah's beautiful smile this afternoon and when I'm back on our computer, I will post it. (I'm trying out Tom's iMac)

We still do not have any word on a court date. The courts are pretty busy, so we can't say that we're going to have one soon, although perhaps in the next 2-3 weeks. However, our application for the interstate compact went in yesterday, and should be improved within a week, in which case, we'll be legally allowed to travel home without going to court first. Keep your fingers crossed! As much as we've enjoyed the closeness of friends, are we ever ready to go home and get Leah to surroundings that will give us all the luxuries of home--including changing table, real crib, television (for mom!), and a freezer full of food :-)

Also, B. has given us permission to post pictures or talk about her on our blog. We have made the decision to wait until after the court case is done and it's all over in terms of revocation, etc. but stay tuned for a glimpse of this exceptional young woman.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

Leah Came Home!

2009-04-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

We got to leave the hospital with Leah today. We are back in Laurel. We have to return to Baltimore Tuesday for her first doctor's appointment, and then hopefully we will be done with that town! Honestly, I told Michael, if we get out of here without 4 flat tires, it'll be a miracle. The roads in B'more SUCK!

We've had a pretty uneventful first day home. She's got jaundice so we kept her in the sunlight for a while. Now we are hanging out at the computer and Michael is feeding her--she won't eat for me! He says this indicates she's daddy's girl. I have no doubt about it.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. She gets to meet her PopPop tomorrow!

Baby Leah, 1 Day Old

2009-04-09T20:36:00.001-07:00

She is so precious. We've dubbed her "Cupcake" because we just want to eat her up. :-)

I just had to share this picture. As you can see, Cousin Dottie is not too happy about the interloper.

We have lots more pictures at http://www.flickr.com/photos/katekosior

Today her name was placed on her birth certificate, so she is official Leah Katherine, and she will be able to come home with us to our friend Tom's house either tomorrow or Saturday, just in time for a visit from PopPop, who is buying her a pink Easter dress. :-)

Hopefully next week we will go to court and then we can go home!

Now We Are Three

2009-04-08T07:41:00.001-07:00

Leah Katherine was born this morning at 3:56AM. She weighs 7 pounds 11 ounces and is 20 inches long. This is our first family photo. It was love at first sight.

Tuesday Dawns

2009-04-07T04:38:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone!

Not sure who might be reading this for regular updates, but it's Tuesday and no baby yet. We are going to the hospital this afternoon and we plan to make some noise. B. is so swollen that she can't even get shoes on at this point, and there is no excuse for this. We are concerned for her health as well as the baby's health. I'm not sure why they refuse to intervene--when my sister was expecting back in November and was quite healthy and doing fine, they were falling all over themselves to induce her, and eventually did with no provocation whatsoever. So today we will find out why this is not the case for B. I have my suspicions, but we're going to take care of it today.

So keep your eyes peeled!

If you use Twitter, you can follow me (katekosior) or my friend Lauren (lvitsa) for updates.

Day 2

2009-04-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

We spent this afternoon with B and her family at her apartment. Nothing doing, although a lot of mucous released itself while we were sitting there, which is freaking her out. Her first pregnancy didn't extend this late in the game so she's not used to all the bodily changes.

Tomorrow she has a doctor's appointment at the hospital to see what's going on. We will attend that with her and then if it looks like nothing doing, we will probably return home for a couple days to wait it out.

On the upside, I might get to see the cherry blossoms after all!

On our way!

2009-04-04T15:37:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was at work on a client visit when my cell rang. This is highly unusual! And even more unusual, it was my husband :-) He had checked our messages at home and it was B. calling to say that the doctors expect her water to break in 24-48 hours--she is having regular contractions and has dilated about 2cm. She suggested we needed to come on up!

So last night we did laundry and got our ducks in a row. We called our friend Tom, with whom we are staying during this extravaganza, alerted the attorneys, and this morning we headed up to Laurel. We called B. and she reported her contractions have continued and are getting stronger, but her water hasn't broken yet. We got to Tom's around 11 and I took a nap for 2 hours--I was tired I guess! But everyone is telling us to take naps while we can.

So we are just hanging out here. Tom gave us a tour of Laurel so that we could find grocery stores, Walmarts, etc. Just waiting for the call that it's time to go to the hospital! This is exciting!

If you are a Twitter user, please follow me (username katekosior) or my friend Lauren (username lvitsa) for updates from the hospital if I'm not able to post them from the laptop. (Not sure what the wireless situation is over there!)

Will post more as we get more action! I'm still hoping baby comes tomorrow!

Awww!

2009-04-02T15:45:00.000-07:00

We are looking after our niece this evening and I just snapped this picture. Doesn't it make your heart melt? Leah's going to be a total daddy's girl.

Final Carpentry Projects Complete! (& Birthday Guesses?)

2009-04-01T19:39:00.001-07:00

Our neighbor Aaron brought his contractor over this evening and they put up the two shelves on the wall in Leah's room that we had left. Since "Uncle Doug" put a bar and shelves in the closet this weekend, we can now say that all carpentry is COMPLETE! I just have to finish putting down carpet tiles in the closet, which I will get to this weekend.

The alphabet poster is also done and hanging, but I almost immediately realized that some of it is off-kilter, so I need to re-do a couple of letters. It was a fun project and went VERY quickly, so I'm pleased to say it was worth spending the 30 minutes to do it versus paying for it through the nose.

B.'s next doctor's appointment is tomorrow at the hospital. I meant to call her tonight but was babysitting, so I didn't have the chance. I'll be clinging to the phone tomorrow! I still have a good feeling about Sunday. Anyone else want to take a guess on Baby's birthday? We can start a friendly pool--no money, but the closest guess gets all the glory!

Baby News and Money Info

2009-03-30T18:17:00.000-07:00

Today was B's test to see if she was developing pre-eclampsia. Part of the testing was to do a sonogram/ultrasound and see that the baby was fine. The tech asked us if we knew what the baby was. We responded that it was a boy. The tech asked if we wanted her to make sure. We said, "Yes!" (B. and I are starting to think like one mind! Scary!)

The tech did some poking around with the wand and said, "I don't think this is a boy." I looked at B. and she looked at me. We were both bug-eyed, mouths hanging open, shocked. So the tech said, "Ok, well, we'll come back to that in a bit, let's do these other tests." I kept thinking, "Oh my God, it's a girl, oh my God, my dad is going to have a heart attack, oh my God, what are we going to name her?"

A few minutes later, the tech went back to baby's bum and started moving the wand around again. She said, "I don't see any boy parts, but I'm pretty sure these are girl parts" and started pointing them out. We were like, "No! Seriously!?" So the tech said, "I could be wrong, would you like a second opinion? But I'm telling you, I'd be willing to put money on it." Yes, we wanted a second opinion! So another tech came in, and did some poking around and said, "This is most definitely a girl."

Um, gulp! SURPRISE! :-) Thank God we did a neutral nursery is all I can say. I called Mike from the lobby of the hospital and he was just fine with the news, as of course was I. Then I called my sister and gave her the news while Mike called his parents. I called my mom and emailed my dad and brother-in-law and Mike called his sister. Then we had to come up with a name...

Over the phone from my office when I got back to work, we decided on Leah Katherine. I've always liked the name Leah and Katherine is a family name on my side of the family (and is my middle name!). So, surprise! We're having a girl.

B. has to go back to the doctor on Thursday for further monitoring and has another appointment on Friday with her regular clinic doctor. I'm hopeful that they will induce her on Thursday, as I am worried for her health. She is VERY swollen and her blood pressure is high, proteins are creeping into her urine, all signs of pre-eclampsia. However, they're putting it off another couple of days. Fingers crossed, she and Baby Leah will be fine and dandy and hang in there another couple of days. The sonogram picture here was taken today while B. and I had our mouths hanging open.

And in other great news, B. has gotten engaged! Her best friend of many years popped the question over the weekend. She's made that she's all swollen because she can't wear her new sparkly engagement ring. Another reason to have this baby!

*****************************************************

Someone made some comments to family members recently about the fact that we have a donation button on our blog here. While we appreciate the concern about the state of our finances, we're doing just fine. However, since this appears to be something people are concerned about, Mike and I figured we would deal with it head on.

It is tremendously, ridiculously expensive to adopt a newborn baby. While some friends and family members have commented that they are sure their pregnancies cost as much, our response is, "Yes, but your insurance paid the majority of the bills associated with your having a baby."

We do not have this luxury. To date, the Adoption Fairy has not dropped a fat check in our laps and told us to build a family for free. There is no adoption insurance, just in case you can't get pregnant. Additionally, adoptive mothers don't get short term disability payments after the birth--they get 12 weeks unpaid time off, period.

This is what we have paid to date:

$2,100 home study
$9,200 attorney fees
$16,000 agency fees
$1,040 birthmother expenses (estimated $520-$1040 still to be paid)

This does not include postage, copying, gas, mileage, phone calls, and meals. And it is to say nothing of the costs of preparing for a baby--bottles, formula, diapers, clothes, furniture, etc. We were so lucky to have people come to our rescue with showers and hand-me-downs and we've done a lot of bargain shopping, but when you start out $30,000 behind the eight ball, you've got some catching up to do.

We were tremendously lucky to receive a loan from a family member that covered approximately 2/3 the cost of the adoption. We have had to pay the rest ourselves. We covered what we could from our savings and fundraising efforts, charged the rest to credit cards, and paid everything off with this year's tax return.

To date, between the donation button, the Pampered Chef fundraiser, and a yard sale, our fundraising efforts have generated approximately $700, not enough to cover one single category of the above expenses.

Despite the fact that we both have great jobs, neither one of our employers offers adoption assistance. We have a mortgage, car payment, and student loan payments, as well as the regular expenses of living--food, utilities, gas, insurance, etc. Don't misunderstand, we are able to cover all of this with our regular paychecks. We have ZERO credit card debt. We have lived throughout our marriage that if we want something, we either have the money to buy it or we wait until we do. We learned to economize when Mike lost his job 6 years ago and have put those principles into action. You all know us. While our friends have taken fabulous vacations to Europe, the Caribbean, and the Pacific, we've visited friends in Georgia and Kentucky and taken treks to Myrtle Beach.

However, I am about to leave my job and we did need to be sure to put at least a bit of money aside "just in case". And we have done so. And in today's economy, that says something, that after paying off the above expenses on top of everything else, we can still put some money aside "just in case". Apart from pushing the heck out of the Pampered Chef fundraiser, we have not asked anyone for money. We put the button/link on the page in case anyone cared to donate some money to the cause. Several people have, and for that we are TRULY grateful--every little bit has helped beyond measure. And we have gotten away "cheap" because we didn't care a whit about the baby's skin color and because we won't have to pay for our travel or lodging once the baby is born (lest you think we're kidding, many of the leads we've gotten on babies have had agency fees upwards of $35,000 and the kids are being born to drug addicts and the mentally ill, and that $35,000 doesn't cover travel, birthmom expenses, or legal fees in many cases.). In today's economy it is not possible to drop $30,000 without feeling a pinch.

This is why there is a donation button on the page. If you do not wish to donate, feel free to ignore it. If you care to discuss this any further, please contact us directly. You can email me at s u s a n k ( a t ) m k o s i o r ( d o t ) c o m or Mike at m i k e ( a t ) m k o s i o r ( d o t ) c o m. Kindly share your concerns directly with us, versus members of our families or friends.

Our nursery is mostly complete!

2009-03-22T10:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my sister and brother-in-law stopped by to visit with our niece and we spent some time having lunch. Then I ran over to Cracker Barrel to get a rocking chair--yes, we made it official and decided to get a rocker there instead of a glider. We were all sitting around and just decided to go up to Ikea to pick up a bureau I wanted to use as a dresser/changing table in the nursery so that I could pay Lucas in pizza to assemble it, and then finally I'd be able to put everything away.

Last night, I couldn't breathe when I was in bed, so I took some Sudafed PM, hoping it would knock me out. Fat chance. It did less than nothing to alleviate my congestion (next stop for Sudafed PM: the trash!). So I got back up and decided to clean up the nursery and put everything away. I took some pictures this morning. Hope you like 'em! I'm thrilled with how everything looks and now all we need is a baby!

We organized the books by color :-) Yes, we're just that anal

Mr. Ted has been my teddy bear for over 18 years. I hope baby loves him as much as I do!

The bureau is so big, I was able to fit in all the cloth diapers, blankets, crib sheets, swaddlers, wipes, and his clothes that we received as gifts!! Go Ikea!

Several friends have given me gifts of chocolate for "Mom emergencies"--some high test, some Weight Watchers friendly. The stash is in the super cool clock Michael picked out for him--open clock, diffuse chocolate emergency!

The other day, Michael and I were talking about the baby and I said, "I wonder what he's going to be like when he grows up?" like what kind of a person or what kind of job he'll have, that type of thing. My husband pipes up, "Well, I know one thing for damned sure! He's going to be a Patriots fan." To that end, we went on a little shopping spree on NFL.com

While the banner and pennant do not match the decor, you can bet they'll be proudly displayed in that room. And as you can see in front of the flag, baby already has his first Patriots uniform.

Next up will be the wall decor and putting up a couple of more shelves that I bought to hang on the wall. We also need to install a bar and some shelving in the closet, but that's totally full of 'stuff' so it'll have to wait. At least the room is cleaned up and ready :)

New Projects & New News

2009-03-18T05:12:00.000-07:00

So I've got several projects in the works apart from the big "Build baby a bureau" and "clean the nursery" projects. One of them involves putting something on the walls of the nursery, which apart from that awesome green paint are blank canvasses at the moment.

I've wanted to put an alphabet poster up on the wall since my ideas about the nursery started coming to me. I did mega-research. Since the room was not going to be a pastel haven with lots of cute little fluffy animals, I needed to find an alphabet poster that would be a little more modern. It took a long time. A very long time. And when I finally found what I liked, it led to the question of, "WHAT!?" Seriously. Here is the poster I like. See any problems with it? Like the $85 price tag and it doesn't even come framed!?

Yeah. Not good. But if there's one thing I pride myself on, it's that I'm a pretty savvy shopper, especially on line. If there's a bargain to be had, I will usually find it. But I searched high and low and I couldn't find this poster for cheaper. Not even on Ebay.

I turned to my friends at Amazon.com Nothing. But they did offer a glimmer of hope. They didn't offer the poster, but they offered a set of notecards with the Binth alphabet on them, one card per letter, at a total cost of $16.95. (They'd be cool just as postcards, forget anything else! Want a set? Click here).

So baby project #1 is to make these into a poster or set of posters somehow and mount them on the wall. They're beautiful and I love the colors and the fun drawings, especially I is for Inchworm :-) And L for lobster is a nice nod to his New England heritage. I think this is going to be a lot of fun to put together.

I was also on a hunt for a baby book for him. It is kind of a pain in the butt to keep up with those little projects, but my mom made them for both my sister and I and they are something I cherish. I did some book store hunting, but most everything included "Here's how mommy found out she was pregnant." I did find one book that said, "Here's how we found out we were expecting you" which was good, but then it said, "Here's what Mommy was craving"... Not so good.

I was pretty sure that there must be adoption memory books out there, and so again turned to Amazon.com and started looking. Voila! There were several options, but ultimately I decided on Our Chosen Child by Judy Pelikan and Judith Levy. I like the design of it a lot, and last night Michael and I looked through it and read it together and much of it we can fill out already. It was kind of silly though, it goes all the way through the teen years (I think just in case you adopt an older child) and then adds a page for "your special day" and I said, "My God, I don't even want to think about him getting married" and burst into tears! Yeah, I'm a mess.

I also got a hanging photoclip mobile and I thought it would be fun to get B. a disposable digital camera and ask her to take a series of pictures that we could turn into a mobile and hang in his room. We'll see how she feels about that project.

Yesterday while I was blogging about the hell our nursery had become, the phone rang and it was B.! She was calling with an update about her Monday doctor's appointment. She went and told them that she was having a lot of trouble breathing and they said it was probably because the baby is a pretty good size and was pushing on all those muscles. Still, they decided to send her for a sonogram, so she went over to the hospital (Darn it! I MISSED IT!) and they did a sonogram (he still didn't want to show off his junk, so they still can't confirm 100% that it's a boy, but he better be, we have a LOT of boy clothes now). They estimated his current weight to be 9 pounds 6 ounces. Now everyone is telling me that it could be off either way by a pound, but 8 pounds 6 ounces is still a big baby, as is 10 pounds 6 ounces! B. said when she heard that news, she started crying, she is afraid of having to push out a baby that big and of having to have a c-section. I tried to offer her words of reassurance, but really, what can I say!? "Good drugs and a bottle of champagne afterwards?" She made me swear I wouldn't videotape the birth--which I hadn't planned on--and said I could shoot all the video and take all the pictures I wanted to after the fact, but not during 'the action' as she calls it. She also said that the hospital told her she could have 3 people in the labor and delivery room with her and she told the hospital that her first 2 picks were us, so they are aware of her plans.

So that's where we are right now. I am going to have to experiment with Blogger's privacy settings--we feel it is most important to keep B's privacy in highest regard. She is not computer savvy, and so we don't want to do anything that she wouldn't want us to in terms of posting pictures, etc. to a public space, but at the same time, we want to be able to share our joy at his birth and share photos with our nearest and dearest. I know Blogger will allow us to make this entire blog "by invitation only" which would mean you'd have to let me know you want access to the password. What I'm wondering is if we can just protect certain posts, so that if we got pictures of us with B as a family after the birth, we could just protect those posts with her image in them.

Other items we are discussing--our first date night! We have a tentative date planned for May 13th to go to a concert in DC, just waiting to speak with the ticket office about happy handicapped seating and then it's official. Anyone wanna babysit? :-)

We've also been getting strange calls from strange numbers in the middle of the night, so we're thinking we need to start packing for when the time comes that we do get The Call. Even if we just pack up cameras and baby gear and then only have to worry about our own clothing, etc., at least we're that step ahead of the game. So this is the game plan. We've been talking about it for a while, but we just haven't done it yet! So time to do it.

Our new freezer arrived yesterday, so we are probably going to renew our BJ's membership and start buying items in bulk--hopefully they have formula there, which should cut down on the cost considerably, although B. has offered us her formula vouchers, so that should help a lot too. When my mom comes to stay, I want to do a lot of cooking with her so we can load up the freezer and then I'll be able to just pull meals out and heat them up without worrying about it too much.

All baby's laundry is done except his cloth diapers, but I plan to use disposables for a few weeks while we get adjusted and then transition to cloth, so I'm not worried about that for now. Our washing machine died a painful death last night (it's less than a year old!), so it's being repaired tomorrow and then we can wash our clothes and be ready to roll in the event something happens soon! I'll keep everyone posted about going private and how to contact me to get put on the privilege list :-)

Maybe a Little Spoiled!

2009-03-17T12:33:00.001-07:00

So if I had any doubts about how many of you are excited and already love this little boy, all worries were allayed in the past week. Between yesterday and the previous Monday, no fewer than 3 baby showers were held in our honor, two of which were total surprises. To begin to thank everyone would take FOREVER, but I'm going to do my darnedest.

Last Monday was book club. We were meeting at Elizabeth's house in Reston, which I have a bad history with (Reston, not her house!). The first time we ever had book club there, we got on the Dulles toll road and I allowed my sister to convince me that what we needed to do was get on the Dulles Access Road. We took a damned 30 minute detour and wound up at book club close to 45 minutes late. I don't do late. Late and I don't agree. Since that experience, nearly 5 years ago, I make damned sure to never take the Dulles Access Road unless I'm going to the airport and to leave early.

But my sister was feeling pokey that night. She took her time making the monkey bread she was bringing, getting Dottie changed and put together for her first time at book club, getting down to the car, etc. etc. etc. We finally got moving and got to Elizabeth's at about 7:20, and my sister says, "Don't you want to sit out here till you see someone go in like we always do?" Yes, ladies, we're just always that early that we arrive usually no later than 7:15 and then sit in the car so we don't look like total losers and are the first ones there--it's my code of book club ethics, but that's why you love me, right?!

So I said, "Oh fine, no problem" and we sat there for about 30 seconds before a fellow member drives up. So I said, "Well, Carrie's here! We can get going now!" and I hop out of the car and we roll into Elizabeth's, although Judy is fussing with Dottie's car seat and hanging back with Carrie, dragging her feet a little. I was like, "Oh, that's just Judy being her infuriatingly slow self again" and then I walked in and go to put my dish down on the table. Guess what!? There is a cake on the table that says, "Welcome, George Henry!" I was like, "What the heck?! This is strange." Then I turn to the living room, and there are several girls sitting around with a bunch of gifts on the coffee table. Surprise!!! It was a book party for George Henry! :-) So thanks to all his Lit Chicks auntie's, he's got lots of good reading to do, from Shel Silverstein to the Mr. Messy books to Goodnight Moon to some fun adoption themed books to a pajama dance to touchy feely books, you name it! I came right home and re-read all the cards and read all the books that night, and some of them made me just a little bit weepy, I'll be quite honest!

THANK YOU, LADIES!

Saturday marked my baby shower for friends in the area. I had selected the date with my sister, who got a bit busy with other things, some of my friends stepped in to take over, and then my sister stepped back in and the four of them managed to plan this magnificent party via email and telephone and Twitter! They didn't meet up in person once!

It was again at Elizabeth's Party Palace, and sadly the weather was drizzly and crappy, but the atmosphere was warm and welcoming. I read the Evite wrong, thinking the party started at 2:00, so I arrived at about 2:00 on the dot while the party in fact started at 3:00. Oops! In fact, I beat 2 of the 4 hostesses there, but I just sat in Elizabeth's living room, unwinding with her kitty cats and chatting from afar with the girls so none of their hard work and surprises would be spoiled. I was happy pappy when Judy arrived with my friend Joe. Joe and I have been friends for 15 years come this fall--we met at Manhattan College during a psychology class. We were paired up together for a project and he hadn't done his homework and sponged off me. Despite this, I kinda liked him, so we started hanging out and 15 years later, it's a beautiful thing.

The ladies put on a beautiful tea for me. There was a variety of delicious food, a wonderful assortment of teas, and so much fun. My sister made her famous chicken salad sandwiches, which is my favorite thing she cooks, and she put the chicken salad in little pastry shells--YUM! Melissa went hog wild at Wegman's and bought fruit tarts (my fave dessert!), appetizers, and the like and Jacalyn made cucumber sandwiches. Elizabeth introduced me to the joy of peach flavored tea, and it was so, so good!!!

There were some fun games, one of which I remembered from growing up in the North Country. This involved someone freezing little plastic babies into ice cubes and us seeing who could be the first one to get him out. Judy won by dipping hers in hot tea. We also played baby taboo, where if you said "Baby" you had to give up one of your diaper pins to whoever caught you saying it. I did well until I started opening presents. Then I lost it. Joe was the big winner!

The fun thing about the games was that all the prizes were baby gifts. Each had a little note attached and the winner signed it and gave it to me as an extra gift. I got little teethers and so forth, so it was great!

The girls also had advice for the mom to be cards and each guest took one and wrote some words of wisdom. They included:

Stay calm, ask for help, and enjoy! --Cecily
Let me know when you need cookies! Sugar always helps! And wine (for you--not for him) --Sarah
Call me anytime you need to talk with a fellow clueless first-timer! --Elizabeth
"Spare the rod and spoil the child." When you don't know, say: "Ask your fatha" When all else fails, VELCRO! --Joe
If you have any questions or need a break, call my big sister, she's great this thing. --Judy (my little sister)
Sleep when Jack is sleeping. Don't watch him sleep. Sleep! --Kris

We got so many lovely presents. Melissa and Judy both learned some new crochet techniques and gave me a hand-crocheted blanket each. Kris got us the Little People farm, which I remember the old school version growing up, as did the other girls so we all squealed about that. Joe didn't know he was coming till the day before, so he went to Safeway and got a Hello Kitty rectal thermometer--HILARIOUS, but I'll never use it. hehe We got more books, clothes, a bumbo, blankets, and Jacalyn made a gorgeous diaper cake full of cloth diapers, clothes, spoons, teethers and more!

I must mention Jacalyn's mom Ann's gift. She got us some little boxes and filled them with goodies, but suggested that what we should do is have a box on each floor of our house with some diapers, wipes, washclothes, etc. Because we have a split level and the baby's gear is upstairs and we'll spend most of our days downstairs, this will save me from running up and down to change him. This is a great idea and one I am definitely going to use!

However, I got home and the General helped me unload the car and I was showing him everything and showed him Ann's boxes. His response? "These are nice boxes! They are just the right size to pack brownies in for work." It's clear where my husband's priorities are! Ha!

You can see pictures at both Melissa's blog and Jacalyn's blog. Sorry, I was too busy to take any!!!

So yesterday was my office day, usually I am in my office in Fairfax on Mondays. I was not too happy about going in yesterday because B. had another doctor's appointment and asked me if I wanted to come, which I sure did! But my boss had scheduled a staff meeting for yesterday and I had to be there because it was a team meeting to discuss the transition into a life without Susan. So I went. Grudgingly. Armed with a 4 page report I'd spent hours compiling so that everyone would know who their clients were going to be and what they'd need to do with each client.

Ok, fine. So then I get an email when I get there, "Denise has a meeting in the conference room at 10:00, so our staff meeting will be pushed back to 11:00." And I was like, "So help me God, if they push this meeting back till 12:00, I am going to be so unhappy, I might have to scream." Because I went to the doctor with B. last week and I was back in the office at 12:30. Plus, I had been asked to do a big inservice yesterday and I had to cancel it in order to attend this staff meeting.

So around 10:45ish, my boss Tim walks into my office and says, "You got that report ready?" and I was like, "Yeah, it's right here" and I hand it to him. He says, "Well come on down to my office and we'll discuss it real quick before the meeting, and also there are a few other pieces of paperwork you need to fill out."

So I go on down there with him and we're sitting and gabbing and he's emailing me files for things I need to do like an exit interview and rattling off who I have to email things to and I'm just like, "Whatever, I am so over this" ha! So then he says, "Ok, hold on a sec, I forgot something out front, I'm just going to grab this other form." and he takes off. So I'm just sitting there like la de dah and then he comes streaking back in and says, "Ok, well it's time for the meeting, so c'mon and we'll finish this up after the meeting." Ok, so I follow him out to the conference room and still in a haze and he opens the door and everyone is sitting around the table, the room is decorated and everyone shouts, "Surprise!"

Well, honestly, I couldn't have been more surprised. In fact, I turned around to walk out. It literally didn't register what was going on. Tim stopped me and then I realized what was going on, and I said, "Oh my God!" and I smacked him one (fortunately he's good like that). There was a table full of food--Denise, my co-worker who had a baby a year ago had made piles of sandwiches and salads and dips and veggies, and there were chips and a beautiful "Congratulations, Susan!" cake. It was amazing. There was a table full of presents in the back and Denise caught everything on camera--she is going to give me a CD shortly. So there we were again, everyone sitting around watching me open presents!!! Tim read a poem he wrote in my honor (you can read it here) and it was also a going away party for me as I will be leaving my job on George Henry's birthday.

We got so much great gear for the baby, my friend Debbie is such a crafty one she made a beautiful bath time bucket out of a paint can and filled it with onesies and washclothes and bath goodies. Our office manager, Roxie, gave me a hat she had knit herself. Denise gave me a whole laundry basket full of diapers and wipes and good things like that, Kris gave me clothes for when he gets older (love that!) one of the mobility instructors and a counselor gave us a whole bag of Easter themed goodies and a lullaby CD. It was awesome. Plus they all chipped in for a good-bye gift to give me a gift certificate/Visa gift card, which I am stashing for a new mommy emergency run to Starbucks. I have plans for that Visa card.

Thank you, DBVI!!! I'm so lucky to have worked with such an awesome crew. It was bitter sweet, everyone kept saying, "What are we going to do without you for X, Y, or Z?" But I reminded them all that Jack's doctor is in Fairfax and I'll have nothing better to do than drive around aimlessly anyway, so I'll come visit often!

So I went out with Debbie last night and then driving home, I called the General and told him to be ready to flex his muscles--we got gear! We hauled in another round of goodies and at this point, it was looking like a desperate situation in our living room. It looked like a Baby Depot truck had pulled up, dumped its load, and driven off.

So today I spent some time putting things upstairs, washing all the clothes, and trying to get some things organized. We are hamstrung by our lack of a bureau and the closet doesn't have a clothes bar or shelves or anything. This weekend, Uncle Lucas is supposed to come help me get a dresser and put it together, and hopefully that will solve this problem.

You remember my beautiful baby ready nursery? I think someone called it "magazine gorgeous"?

Well, here's what it looks like today with all the gear loaded in.

Box of Bum Genius 3.0 diapers, ready to be washed and waiting for use!

Why have one carseat when you can have two?

He's got clothes, but nowhere to sleep!

This is my current organizational project! (See below for more details)

Ok, so the clothes in bags. My friend Mandy (you will remember her from the diaper cake) told me that she started putting her boys' clothes into ziploc bags, one outfit per bag. She said this makes it REALLY easy to grab an outfit and go, she can even send the boys or her husband to grab a clothing bag and they can be on their way in no time.

What really appeals to me about this is not only the speed and convenience of it, but that Michael will be able to pick out an outfit that's coordinated and dress Jack up and be ready to roll if need be. I'm trying it out and now have tons of hats and socks to include in the packages. Once we get him a dresser this weekend, I can put them in the drawers by size and we can recycle the bags as he outgrows things. I'm excited to see how this works!

Monday night, I should mention, I got home and Michael said we'd had a package delivered. So I took it and guess who it was from? My friend Julie in Georgia!! She and I met over 10 years ago when her parents and mine all decided to split up (they didn't know each other or anything, but it was at roughly the same time anyway). We've kept in touch all these years and she has a little guy of her own, Joey, who is 6, I think by now? and just so adorable he can't quit. So, she sent us a gift for Baby Kosior and guess what it was? A hand-crocheted afghan! In blue! Different than the other 2, totally gorgeous as well. This is absolutely wonderful, he's going to be the warmest baby on the block :-)

So we have some cleaning up to do! Our neighbor is going to install our shelves for us soon up on the wall and hopefully I can hire him to put in some shelves and a clothing bar in the closet. And that's it! Look for another post soon about my new projects for the nursery if it doesn't swallow me whole in the meantime!

Showers of Heartbeats

2009-03-10T11:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went with B. to the doctor for her regular check up. The doctor felt around and put a monitor on her and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat! :-) It was so exciting! I cried just a little bit. What a moment. Otherwise, she is doing fine. She has dilated maybe a fingertip, so not too much action there, but she is coming along. Hopefully he'll be here soon!

In other news, our friend Mandy came over on Saturday bearing a diaper cake!! She had a former nanny of hers make it for us, and it was coordinated to match our nursery. It has little frogs, spoons, teething toys, diapers, shampoo, everything! Absolutely adorable. Thanks, Mandy and family, the wonderful surprise!

I arrived at book club last night and the girls had a surprise shower for me there as well. Each of them gave us a book or two, and it was so fun to look through them. We got a couple of adoption themed books, and a bunch of tactile books (great for reading with Daddy!), and some old favorites like the Little Mister books and Goodnight Moon and Shel Silverstein. Thanks, ladies! Lit Chicks are the best girls in the world :-)

It's an exciting time. My sister and three friends are throwing a shower for me this Saturday, and I think on Sunday, Michael and I will do some shopping for baby too. It will be nice to get him some things from his parents.

I guess that's about all! Things are slowly but surely moving along. I'm sure he'll be here before we know it.

What Kind of Adoption Are You Having?

2009-03-05T08:34:00.001-08:00

If we get asked one question beyond the question of baby specifics (gender, name, nursery theme), it's what kind of an adoption we are going to have. A totally open adoption? A closed adoption? One joker even asked us if we were going to tell him he was adopted! (I think he's going to figure it out.)

In the beginning, we didn't really know. Most of our friends who have adopted or been adopted have done so from overseas. We have one friend here in town who is adopted and told us that we had no choice but to have a fully open adoption where the birth mom is presented to him right from the start. Others have expressed concern that we all live so close and that maybe we should be nervous that she'll come around.

About this... Let me say that once the court documents are signed, sealed, and delivered, she has fully and legally relinquished all her rights. She cannot show up on our doorstep and demand the child back. If she were to take him, she'd be charged with kidnapping. Once we accept custody of him, he's legally ours. The process will grant us temporary custody after the waiting period, during which she can change her mind. I'm not sure how long the waiting period is exactly, but I believe it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 days. After that, we will go to court and she will sign him over to us. Then we have temporary custody for six months. During those six months, we will have 2 visits from our social worker, who will report back to the court that we are not screwing up too badly--the first visit at 3 months, the second at 6. At the end of that timeframe, provided everything goes smoothly, there will be one last court hearing, which will involve only us and our attorney, and the court will grant us permanent custody. B. will not be involved in that hearing at all--her rights will have been terminated 6 months ago. If, God forbid, the court finds that we are not adequate parents for this little dude, he would be placed in foster care.

From the beginning, we've said we would exchange reports and progress letters and photos. It's what I would want at a minimum if I were to be forced to make this decision and put my child up for adoption. When we were first matched with B. and talked with her on the phone for the first time, we asked her what type of adoption she wanted and she said that she would like to receive letters and pictures from time to time. It was a good fit.

As we look at the logistics of how this adoption is going to go, I know that in the days following the baby's birth, we will see B. again. We have agreed to transport her to a court hearing in Virginia in order to save ourselves an extra court date and an extra $1500. She will do a hospital 'walk out' with us--meaning that she will take the baby outside the hospital and hand him to us--thereby saving us the need to have a court order and another pile of money.

And when we met her, there was a connection that made me hope that we will be in contact with her for a long time. She is a lovely and smart young woman who one night made a mistake--a mistake that will grow into my family.

But at the same time, I feel strongly that it should be Little Jack's decision about what type of relationship, if any, he wants with B. Some adopted kids want a relationship with their birth families and some do not. I do not want to force him into a relationship with people he doesn't care to know, but I also won't prevent him from knowing them if he so desires.

So there's your answer--although I guess it's not really an answer. I guess we will just kind of do what feels right for all of us, but most of all what feels right to Little Jack. But I appreciate everyone's curiosity!! It's given us something to think about.

Ups and Downs!

2009-03-04T06:33:00.001-08:00

The visit on Saturday went fantastically! We met B. and her daughter at the Cheesecake Factory at the Inner Harbor and from the start it was great. I gave her a great big hug, and the baby started kicking! Unbelievable! We gave the little one a big teddy bear, and she and I were instantly inseparable--every time I'd put her down, she'd start crying. By the time the visit was over, she'd drunk half my Diet Coke and I was covered in ketchup, but what a blast.

B. invited me to attend her next doctor's appointment on Monday, so hopefully if they do an ultrasound or sonogram, I'll be able to actually see the little dude myself. We got home Saturday night and she called to say she was having some contractions, so we wondered if we were going to have to turn around and go back up there. It was a total panic zone here for about an hour--trying to collapse the portable crib, wash laundry, make a phone list, etc. It's gotten us to thinking that we need a better plan than running around trying to throw things in bags, so last night we started preparing for our trip--got the laptop up and running, made a phone list, and I'm starting a list of things we need to pack up so that we can grab and go when the time comes.

This morning we got word that we were NOT approved for a Gift of Adoption grant due to our income being plenty fine to cover our fees. Oh really? I'd like to know how they figured that out. That's what I hate about financials on paper--they really don't give you a picture of how people manage. Not saying we're in dire straits, but we're not rolling in it either. The whole point of Gift of Adoption grants is to not look at people's income, but to give people that little boost they need to get over the last hurdle to the adoption. *Sigh* Oh well. We'll be fine, I'm sure. Especially now that we have someplace free to stay. That's going to be a big help indeed.

Abby's called us on Sunday to get our impression of the visit and of course we were thrilled with it and apparently B. was too and mentioned to Abby's how much her little girl had loved spending time with me. So that's good. Always up. :-)

That's all the news from here so far.

Big Day!

2009-02-28T06:29:00.000-08:00

Today is the big day we meet B. We won't be posting pictures to protect her privacy, but we will let everyone know how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed :-)

We spoke with her last night and she said she's VERY uncomfortable and there is a lot of pressure. So we could be parents soon. We'll see!

In other news, a big THANK YOU to our friend Tom who is letting us stay at his place in Maryland for the duration of our stay. Ka-ching! Savings on hotels :-)

And also to our friend Cindy who squeezed us in to do our taxes and got them out before this week's IRS deadline for returns--our return was accepted and we should have our return in about 2 weeks! This will allow us to pay off the credit card bill we incurred paying for the attorneys. WOO HOO!

Busy and Productive Weekend

2009-02-16T18:35:00.000-08:00

We spent a lot of time this weekend on adoption related matters. The big news is that our birthmom has moved back to the East Coast and is much closer to us now. Consequently, meeting her is going to be a lot easier, as is going to see her during the birth and to pick up Little Jack. When we got the news, we immediately had to re-think all the legal stuff and so we are waiting on our attorney here in Virginia to sort that out for us again.

We spoke with the agency out in Iowa and they spoke with the birthmom (I'll call her B. from now on--B. for birthmom!) and she gave her permission for us to have her phone number. We tried calling her on Saturday, but weren't able to get her. She did call us back and leave a message while we were at a game night at a friend's house, so we decided to call her back on Sunday afternoon. Surprise! She called us at 10:00am Sunday! We chatted for nearly 20 minutes and it was so great. She is such a fascinating person--we learned a lot about her and she learned a lot about us. It was fun to ask her questions like how she'd been feeling, what foods she's been craving (hot sauce, which her doctors have told her to quit eating. Ha!), etc. She told us that every morning at 3am, Jack starts kicking the heck out of her, and she said that he's such an active baby that a woman on the bus with her the other day asked her what she had hiding under her jacket! WOW! She told us we'd better be ready for a real busy body :-) She was also very happy to hear about our pet rabbit--she thinks it's great the baby will have a pet.

Anyway, we've made plans to meet up with her in early March to have lunch and get to know one another more. Thanks to everyone who has given me so many recommendations about where we should go for lunch! Sabatino's appears to be in the lead. I'm not sure how we'll keep still we're so excited, and we've been reading up on how to prepare for the meeting, which is a little nerve-wracking, but honestly the phone call was so great, that most of my nervousness has disappeared into pure excitement. She sounds very determined to go through with the adoption, and has filled out a hospital plan that includes us in every way. She verbally told us that we are welcome to be in the delivery room, in her words, "when all the action goes down", which is so reassuring and thrilling that we'll get to witness his first breaths in this world. It brings tears to my eyes.

Also big news: a great big huge THANK YOU to everyone who bought something from our Pampered Chef show! Together we managed to raise nearly $500 for the adoption!! This is huge, unbelievable, and unexpected. So many people passed the information along to friends and co-workers and family that we got orders from all over the place. I would get an email and think, "Who the heck is Ann Smith? Do I know Ann Smith?" and shortly thereafter get an email from a friend who'd say, "That's my mom/cousin/friend!" So thank you all! :-)

We decided that since it all looks pretty official, we need to get moving on the nursery! Sunday afternoon, TomTom vacated his room upstairs and moved into the basement. I wouldn't say he's unhappy about it, but I would say that he's rather confused. He keeps scurrying around the pen that we bought him wondering what the heck is going on. I cleaned his cage tonight, and I have to say, the house has not smelled the least bit rabbity, so I think thus far, after 48 hours, I am able to keep up with it. I do think we will wind up going through a lot more litter, as I plan to clean his box out every other day, but he's actually become much cleaner since moving into a smaller space. Hooray for TomTom! (Even if he hates it) As you can see from the picture, Michael decided to welcome him to the basement by making his ears stand straight up. Ha! This picture just cracks me up. TomTom LOVES having his ears stroked, so even though it looks crazy, you can tell by his eyes being closed that he's actually in hog heaven.

So this morning, we decided to tackle the baby's room, and had a ton of volunteers. My sister and brother-in-law came to lend a hand, and everything went so smoothly that we were able to call off the other volunteers and save them some free time!

Judy and Lucas divvied up the responsibilities--Judy helped me with the flooring, and Lucas was in charge of furniture building. We started with the floors--I'd spent yesterday sweeping and scraping and getting the floors into as good shape as they could be after having lived as a rabbit hutch for three years. Then we started putting the carpet tile down. I ordered carpet tile from Target.com I got two different colors so we could have a checkerboard design--green and what I thought was white but turned out to be beige. This is fine, though, I'd rather it be beige--hides the mess better :) I was a bit worried about all the cutting that would be required around things like heat vents and doorways, but it turns out my sister is a whiz (she claims all that playing Tetris paid off!), so she told me how to measure and cut and I did it. Only once did I totally screw up and it worked out anyway as I was able to cut the mistake off and still use the tile just fine. The tile has a light adhesive on the back, not really enough to do any good, so we wound up staple gunning the tiles to the floor once we were finished. This worked out really well and Lucas was able to vacuum with no problem whatsoever. There is one little section where the tiles are up just a little bit, but I think as we continue to walk on and over them, they'll settle in nicely.

After we finished the flooring, Judy and Lucas brought the crib upstairs and Lucas had it together in no time at all. I helped tighten a few screws, because really, that was all there was to it. It was an absolute snap. So we decided to put together Little Jack's bookshelf while we were at it--Lucas and I had built this exact model last Easter when I needed somewhere to house my "to be read" collection--sadly, it's outgrown the shelf, but oh well, it's still a great sized shelf! So we knocked that together in about 30 minutes and put everything where it belonged.

Well, of course, with the crib up, I wanted to put the bedding in, which I couldn't do without having a mattress, so I took a quick trip to Target and picked up the mattress, a touch lamp (cool!) and a garbage can to use as a diaper pail. After we got back and the sheets and blankets were done being Drefted in the washer and had dried, I ironed the curtain/blinds which had been washed to remove rabbit fur, I washed down the walls again, washed the windows, and cleaned the ceiling fan. Then it was time to put the room together, as much as we could with the few things we have. But actually, we're in good shape. I have a set of 2 shelves that need to be mounted to the wall, and then we need a rocking chair/glider and a dresser/changing table and the furniture is all done! Then we just have to make ourselves a working closet (there is no clothes bar or anything in there, and we will probably use the leftover carpet tiles on the floor in the closet) and the room will be in even greater shape.

So here's where we are with the room. If Jack came home tomorrow, we'd be ready for him.

Eeyore and Seahorse are ready for Jack to come home too!

First Look at George Henry

2009-02-10T04:08:00.001-08:00

This picture is kind of chipmunky, but maybe that's better than alien. :-)

More Excitement!

2009-02-05T12:07:00.001-08:00

The agency in Iowa called this morning. They mailed us a sonogram picture yesterday! Can't wait to see the little guy! :-)

More Odds & Ends

2009-02-04T08:18:00.000-08:00

Well, the Pampered Chef show invites went out. If you didn't get an email, it means I don't have your email address. If you'd like to come to the party next Monday night in Alexandria, we'd love to have you! If you can't but would like to order, you can visit http://www.pamperedchef.biz/angie?page=product-order-guest-login&showId=1936956 and buy something. We get 30% of the sales, which is pretty good. We've only had 2 orders so far, but we've already earned $27. Thanks book club gals Cecily and Kate!

We've also started an Ebay account for the adoption. Michael has some computer gear that he wants to sell and I have some autographed books that I could get rid of. We'll be going through the house and hopefully coming up with some things that we can sell off that we don't want/need any more. I may try selling a few of my pictures too. It's a pretty cheap project, but could potentially make some money from photography lovers in Ebay-land.

That's about it, really. We've paid our Virginia attorney's fees and part of the birthmom's attorney's fees, and still have plenty of money to get by. We are anxiously awaiting our tax documents, because then we will be able to breathe a bit easier--we need that return! :-)

And everyone's been so helpful with the lodging situation. We found one posting on Craigslist Detroit for a woman who rents out her guest house for $40 per month. We are going to try calling her for more information. Lauren is on the quest with a friend of hers who works for a chain. My former boss is from Michigan and is checking with family and friends to see if they might know of someplace we could stay cheap.

We have a checklist from the Michigan attorney of paperwork we need to get in order, so we are busy finding all that. February 16th is "Nursery Day". We will be putting down the carpet tile, building the crib, hanging shelves, and hopefully putting the closet together. So much to do, and so much excitement in doing it. And then we will get to take a mini vacation courtesy of the Talmadge Glecks, NettieMacs and Mamorys in order to get a little down time/Mike and Susan and friends time before the real insanity hits.

Thanks to all who have been so generous and helpful with money, time, advice, connections, and affection. It's amazing the people who the people you know know. Ya know?

Extended Stay Suites

2009-02-03T17:14:00.000-08:00

Our MI attorney sent us a bunch of places to look at staying in the county where we will finalize the adoption. I had looked at these extended stay places before, when the General was moving to DC and I had a bit of sticker shock then, which was 5 1/2 years ago. I was dreading what the price would add up to on a 3 week stay--the absolute worst case scenario if everything goes totally crazy.

Life outside the DC area is pretty nice. It's looking like the total hotel costs will be about $1500 if we have to stay the full time--hopefully we'll stay one week less than that, so it'll cost about $1000. That is definitely doable.

We are taking baby steps to ensure that we don't go crazy with waiting. Things like this give us something to keep our minds busy and active.

The great debate raging in my head is whether we should fly there and rent a car or if we should drive. Driving has advantages--we can take all our gear with us, don't have to pay extra to fly and then rent a car. It also has disadvantages--namely taking forever to get out there and forever to get back. And if I haven't been sleeping well with a newborn and I am the sole driver, that could spell big trouble. The debate rages on.

Etc.

2009-01-30T18:37:00.000-08:00

The carpet tiles arrived today, so that project is ready to take place. Unfortunately, we have a ton of things to do this weekend, so it will probably happen next weekend instead, but at least they are here!

It's been a fun week--now that it seems more real, I am enjoying chatting with friends about their babies. It's nice to enjoy it and not dread hearing about babies any more--hope is a wonderful thing. We've done some window shopping online via AIM, and I must say, there are some awesome things out there for babies. I've pledged not to shop yet, but it's definitely hard!

More funds are going out this week, but more funds are coming in, as well! We've gotten our first two donations: $10 from the Stanley clan and $30 from the Hanlon clan. Thank you all! :0D Plus our RSVP list for our Pampered Chef fundraiser is looking good too. If you don't live in the area but would like to order towards our total, please let me know and I'll try to send you a link where you can do so. I believe we get 15% of the take.

A friend of Michael's at work is expecting and she and her husband are apparently terrified about the prospect of parenthood and asked if we weren't. Honestly, I'm nervous--I want to do the best job I possibly can to live up to the task. But we've been waiting so long that it's just such a relief and I'm so happy to know that we can take a crack at parenting. I think it's going to be just great, and he's going to be just great, and we're in for an adventure. The responsibility is a little awe-inspiring, but the overall feeling I have is joy.

I read a book recently with various quotes by women. Dorothy Canfield Fisher said, "A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary." I hope I can teach this little dude to stand on his own two feet, but maybe to need me just a little bit.

Moving Along

2009-01-27T05:22:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a whirlwind since we got our match on Tuesday--one week ago!! We were busy getting a loan for the lion's share of the money, and now are trying to make up the last little bit. We have an attorney selected in Michigan, and are speaking with him by telephone today. Our attorney in Virginia has been notified and made sure everything was kosher, giving us the green flag to proceed.

Friday we made the big payment to the agency, and last night I came home to all the information about our match and what to expect in the coming weeks. It was a treat to read, "Act as if you were giving birth--have a suitcase packed and by the door, ready to go when you get the call." So exciting!

We will know more about everything after speaking with the attorney today. I am making a list of questions to ask--I'm a little OCD about things and need a ton of answers so we know how to proceed.

We also ordered our carpet tiles last night. Hopefully they will arrive in time to be put down this weekend. I look forward to getting the nursery put together!

More updates as they happen.

A Match and Fundraising

2009-01-21T13:27:00.000-08:00

We received news yesterday that we have been matched with a birth mom in Michigan. The great joy we feel is beyond description. We are excited to have spoken with this young woman and felt thrilled that she was of the opinion that the agency did not need to look anywhere else, she wanted us to have her son when he is born.

She is due on or around April 15th. We will name our son George Henry Kosior, but we have chosen "Jack" as a nickname for him. He's going to need some time to grow into George Henry--but it sure sounds good when you yell it ("George Henry, get upstairs and clean up your room!")!

There is so much to do in the few short months until we bring little Jack home. Among them is some major league fundraising. We have been fortunate to get a major loan from a family member, but still need to come up with another pile of cash to pay attorney's fees, travel costs, and other fees related to the adoption. We understand that many people cannot, but if you can donate a dollar or ten dollars or any amount, we would humbly appreciate it. We need to come up with roughly $5,000-$10,000 by the time we bring him home. (We are awaiting a final figure.) There is a PayPal link to the right if you are able to make a donation to the cause.

We are also actively seeking fundraising ideas! We have suggestions for a spaghetti dinner and silent auction, which a friend is working diligently on. I will be hosting a Pampered Chef fundraiser--date and time to come. Other ideas would be appreciated! It's going to be too cold for a car wash, but maybe there are other things we can do.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. We are excited to show this little guy off for the world to see.

No Real Updates

2008-12-03T15:24:00.000-08:00

We've had a few people asking why we haven't updated recently and many more asking if there is any news.

Unfortunately, no there isn't. We received our notarized copies of the homestudy in the mail and that felt great. Otherwise, we're in a holding pattern.

This is a somewhat frustrating thing about an adoption--sitting and waiting. But it's all a part of the process, and knowing that something could happen tomorrow or could happen next week or a year from now is kind of exciting in its own way.

In the meantime, we are enjoying some time with our new niece, and just waiting and hoping and praying that our own baby is on the way. People have asked if news of other people's pregnancies have gotten us upset.

It's a strange thing, because you are truly happy for that person, but at the same time, you think, "Well, geez, we really must be defective." Particularly if someone didn't have to try very hard. I have had clients who said, "I looked at my husband and I got pregnant." And I thought, "Geez, that must be nice."

But honestly, there are a couple of things that bother me much more. The number of people in grocery stores and restaurants whose kids are being rambunctious and who say something like, "I don't know why I ever became a parent". That is my number one pet peeve. I want to grab them by the shirt and say, "Do you know how freakin' lucky you are?!" Same with people with babies who complain about how tired they are and how they haven't slept or showered in days or gotten in a full meal. "Do you know how freakin' lucky you are?!" And when people complain about being pregnant, I just want to scream. I'm sure it's not a fun experience, and I now know first hand that labor and delivery is not a whole lot of fun at all, but don't complain about it. At least you have the chance.

I guess that's kind of a 3 in 1. But the other is how easy commercially companies make it seem to have babies.

A couple cases in point: I recently bought a new computer game called "Dream Home". You are playing as newlyweds renovating your first home after your wedding, and as you go along, you can renovate different rooms, etc. And there is an attic room in particular that you keep making progress on. Well, after about 6 turns in the attic room, it is clear that the room is going to be a nursery. And sure enough, when you win, the game says, "Guess what!? We're having a baby!" The game is a sequel to Dream Day Wedding and Dream Day Honeymoon, neither of which I have played. However, the impression given is, you get married, buy a house, and have a baby in a short span of less than 3 or 4 months.

The other day, I was driving around listening to the radio, and a jeweler in Charlottesville was advertising its engagement rings. And the announcer says, "When she sees the ring, she's seeing the wedding, their first house, and their children."

Ok, I and thousands of people like me are living proof that it just doesn't happen that way. And I can attest to the fact that when you get the A-OK from the doctor to go ahead and start trying, it's not like you "have relations" once and boom, you're expecting. We waited for six freakin' years, only to be told "Sorry, not going to happen". And I think we did ultimately wait an abnormally long time, but life has a way of intervening. The point is, for many, many of us, it just isn't that easy, and it is both painful and frustrating to have these types of scenarios presented as the norm.

So anyway, that's my little venting session about that. And we are managing. We are both very excited about the decision to adopt, and neither one of us regrets it or at this point wishes it were any different. I think we are at peace with the way things turned out, and just hope that the end process of building our family doesn't take forever to get done.

If we do get a little gloomy, one of us invariably says to the other, "It's OK, our baby just isn't ready for us yet" or "We have to wait so we get just the right one". This does cheer us up a bit.

We'll be sending out Christmas cards soon and everyone's card will have our little adoption business card taped to it, to remind people that we are still looking and can they please keep us in mind.

Just trying to keep positive! It's all we can do at this point :-)

Email from the Social Worker

2008-11-07T12:59:00.001-08:00

I got home to this happy email from our social worker today:

Ok—I called yesterday and we are all set with the fingerprints. I am printing out your homestudy as we speak and am going to have it signed and notarized and hopefully in the mail today! Hooray!

Wow. Just... wow.

We are officially paper pregnant. Feels so good.

Home Study Draft

2008-10-24T13:17:00.001-07:00

I received a draft of our homestudy today. Just reading it made me want to cry. Things are really happening! I'm just so excited, I think I'm going to burst.

Our Profile...

2008-10-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

...is on its way to Richmond this morning to go and live with our social worker.

Thanks to all who gave advice and feedback.

I had a color copy made at Staples this morning and the woman there could not believe that it was my first project as a scrapbooker. Honestly, if nothing else comes out of this whole thing (God forbid), I will honestly consider that profile a major accomplishment--and something to treasure.

Fun Finds at the Book Sale

2008-10-22T03:03:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the Fredericksburg Friends of the Library book sale. As I read more and more about making adoption a normal part of our child's life, it was suggested that we read stories about adoption to our child.

I spent a lot of time in the children's section of the sale this year--I am a firm believer in secondhand books, especially when we're not going to use them forever. I happened upon 12 Sweet Pickles books, which were books I had as a child. My set is still up at my dad's house, and he's looking for them for us, but we also want a set for my niece. I went on Ebay, and a full set of the Sweet Pickles is going for $245+!!! I got 12 of them for 12 dollars.

As I was scouring the boxes, however, I managed to find 5 books about adoption and quickly snapped them all up. Of course, several of them are a bit dated, but I thought it was great that I could even find any! I brought them home and read them immediately, and they are all actually quite good. So I thought I'd start to compile a little adoption reading list with the information, in case others are looking for books as well.

1. Adopted by Judith E. Greenberg and Helen H. Carey (copyright 1987). Adopted follows the story of Sarah and Ryan, both domestic adoptees. The children are Caucasian and were adopted by Caucasian parents. Sarah is seven and was adopted as an infant. Ryan is about a year old and was recently adopted. This is a non-fiction book with photographs as opposed to illustrations.

The book deals with Sarah's questions about her birth mother, questions she has about why her parents couldn't have biological children, and Sarah's other friends who are adopted--one is from Vietnam and the other is African-American. The book deals with teasing and extended families as well.

2. We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo by Linda Walvoord Girard (copyright 1989). This book is the story of young Benjamin Koo Andrews, who was adopted from Korea. This is a fictional book based on a real life Benjamin's story. It is illustrated beautifully.

The book talks about what Benjamin knows of being found and placed in an orphanage and how his parents came to adopt him. It discusses his journey to America, becoming an American citizen, and the first time he realized that he didn't look like his parents or his classmates. Benjamin has some hard feelings towards his mom for a while and learns that just because his mom didn't give birth to him doesn't mean she isn't his real mom. And then Ben's parents decide to adopt again, this time a little girl from Brazil. Ben loves being an older brother and his parents share cultural celebrations from both Korea and Brazil. The book also deals with extended families and kids in school teasing.

3. We Don't Look Like Our Mom and Dad by Harriet Langsam Sobol (copyright 1984). This is the story of Eric and Joshua Levin, Korean adoptees living with a Caucasian family. The boys have different biological parents. Eric was adopted when he was a few months old and Joshua was adopted when he was 2 1/2. This is a non-fiction book with photographs as opposed to illustrations.

The boys ask lots of questions about why they were adopted. They both love talking about their adoption and learning of the circumstances of their adoption from their parents. The story talks about their friends and interests. It also discusses how their parents try to incorporate the boys' Korean heritage into their lives with things like food. The book talks about stereotypes, citizenship, birth parents, and what makes a family.

4. A Forever Family by Roslyn Banish and Jennifer Jordan-Wong (copyright 1992). This is the story of Jenny, an 8-year-old Hispanic adoptee who was adopted at age 7 by an Asian-American father and Caucasian mother. This book is probably more on the level of a 6 or 7 year old. It is non-fiction with photographs instead of illustrations.

Jenny talks about her interests and activities in school and how she came to be adopted. She discusses going into foster care at age 3, where she was cared for by an African-American family at her second foster placement. Jenny talks about her social workers who helped her find a forever mom and dad and how nervous she felt meeting them for the first time.

Jenny talks about learning her father's Chinese culture through his extended family, and about the joy she experiences with her mother's family as well.

5. How it Feels to Be Adopted by Jill Krementz (copyright 1982). This is a group of teenagers talking about how they feel being adopted. The teens are all different races and ethnic groups, including Native American, African-American, Caucasian, and Asian. The book is non-fiction with photographs. It is organized into chapters, one chapter per child. As such, it is meant for a slightly older audience, probably pre-teens and up, but is by no means a tough read.

They discuss birthparents--some have already found their birthparents, adoptive parents, culture, siblings, foster care, siblings, school, etc. The book shows that families come in all shapes and sizes (there is a young man adopted by a single father, for instance).

So this is my initial kid's reading list on adoption. I enjoyed all 5 of these books immensely. It was instructive for me as a potential adoptive parent to see how parents deal with the immortal "You're not my real mother!" issue as well as to read some real feelings by adoptees. As I find more, I'll add them to another reading list in the future.

Argh!

2008-10-14T15:35:00.001-07:00

The General's fingerprints have bounced back again as "unverifiable". This is the second time. Considering that he has prints on file with the FBI, I'm not sure what the problem is--surely the FBI can just look him up and be done with it? Right?

Wrong.

So now there is a new form which Beth, our social worker, says we might be able to fill out and request an end to the bouncebacks. I'm not 100% clear on whether or not that means we can skip doing the General's fingerprints or what, but I guess we'll find out more.

The philosophical part of us says that this is all happening because our child isn't ready for us yet. He or she is out there in the great beyond, waiting for us, and we all have to wait for the stars to align properly so that we get the right baby and a baby gets the right parents.

The irrational part of us is fuming. Fuming enough to say "The heck with it, is this really worth this kind of hassle?"

Of course it is, and all this will fade from memory when we have our little one home. But dang, this is only the first step! What else is going to happen?

----------------------

I spent a good part of my lunch break reading the blog of Sweet Baby James, which you can find at http://www.sweetbabyjames.info. It was such an inspirational story and so sad, but this family moved me--from the parents' struggle with infertility to the birth of a special needs child and his way too short life.

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My in-laws were down this weekend and bought us a crib! All we need now is a mattress and at least our baby will have a place to sleep and some snuggly blankets. If only we could get a floor put in.

Thanks, Hank and Sheila!

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Colleen, our attorney, said she thought the profile looked good. She suggested we solicit feedback from family and friends. Thanks to those who have commented. If anyone else has a few minutes to look it over, please feel free to do so. It can be found at http://www.mkosior.com/profile.pdf and after viewing it, please leave us a comment about what you thought.

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I guess that's about all. Hope everyone is well out there! We are keeping the faith, even though faith seems to be making a break for it.

Etc.

2008-10-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

All the paperwork is officially in! Hopefully we will not have to do anything further.

Also, we got our profile done and scanned in. We are awaiting word from the attorney that it is "good", but I think it came out great and am getting lots of positive feedback on it. Thanks to Jacalyn for scanning it.

If you'd like to see it, please visit:

http://www.mkosior.com/profile.pdf.

It's a large file, so it may take a couple minutes to load up. Be patient. :-)

It's Been Kinda Slow, But Some Tidbits

2008-09-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

There isn't too much big news to report on the baby front. We've been doing little things that will add up to big things, but nothing major at the same time.

Our physicals have been done by our doctor. He wrote on my form, "Will make a GREAT parent!" which is encouraging from a doctor :-) He also gave Michael high marks, so that made us both feel very good.

Michael's fingerprints bounced back from the FBI, which has now happened twice--once for work and once for the adoption. We went to the police station to get him re-printed and the trooper on duty demanded to know if Michael had even read the paperwork that came back with the bounce back notice. I was like, "Um, obviously not" since Michael had his cane with him, and I guess the guy kind of thought I was being a pain in the ass because he wanted to know if Michael had any prior arrests. When he finally let us in the back room, I think he was a little stunned to see the full white cane and he apologized for being rude. Michael and I just laughed a little. Frankly, his "rudeness" was minor compared to some we've encountered, and he was just trying to do his job. So no hard feelings. The trooper actually turned out to be a very nice guy. (I almost wrote "nice young man" but that makes me sound a little geriatric, don't you think?)

Our family profile is nearly done. I have to take some pictures of our house, but in order to do that, I actually have to clean our house first. So that will be tomorrow evening's project--cleaning and picture taking. It's been really cool here, so I might even start a fire in the fireplace, which I think would look pretty in pictures. We'll have to see. If I do that, I can't highlight my photography wall in that room, so I have to make the tough choices! Otherwise, the profile looks amazing and I am thrilled with how it came out. For someone who has never scrapbooked before, it was a damned good effort--and kind of gives me hope that I can scrapbook in the future.

We had a little fundraising yard sale over the weekend. Two adoptive families stopped by--one guy with his daughter from Guatemala who was GORGEOUS and one woman who adopted one daughter from China and has a special needs child in China waiting for the final paperwork to come through so they can bring her home. They didn't want to buy much, but they both gave us very generous donations. They also gave me and Michael a lot of hope about the waiting process and showed us just how worth it this all will be. We made just about $200, so that was great, and donated all the leavings to the Salvation Army for a nice little tax write off, so even better. :-)

Saturday evening, I went baby registering with Judy and Lucas at Target--little Dottie is coming in less than 2 months now, hopefully! Since there wasn't much else to do, I created a registry for us as well, although I felt a little funny doing it. I had fiddled with it on line a lot, but there's something about actually going and doing the registry that feels a little "gimme"-ish. I think I will probably use it more as a checklist for things that Michael and I need to purchase than anything else. It was a lot of fun to run around with the gun, however, and Lucas and I played a bit of laser tag in the aisles at Super Target, which was great.

Also, I don't know if anyone from the state workforce is reading this and looking for a charity to donate to during the CVC campaign, but our adoption agency, Jewish Family Services, is one of the listed charities in the pile this year. So if you want to support the agency that is supporting us, please list them as your CVC beneficiary.

On the "how we're going to raise this kid" front, I've come to the decision to try cloth diapering. I was cloth diapered as a baby because I had a lot of skin allergies to disposables--although I won't be passing along my allergies to our child, obviously. However, it seems the responsible thing to do in this age of the greening up of society, and I figure I can learn. I need to find out what type of cloth diapers are good to use and how to handle diapering on the go. Otherwise, that's the plan.

We've started getting leads from our attorney--she has us on her mailing list and we get little blurbs from people around the country who know of people with infants who will be up for adoption. I'm excited that once our homestudy is approved and I finalize our profile and get that copied and bound, we'll have some good opportunities to send it around and maybe find ourselves a baby!

Let's see...

I really, really appreciate the sentiment, everyone. I don't know how to say this exactly and not sound like a total witch, but here goes...

Yes, a small minority of adoptive parents do manage to become pregnant after deciding to adopt. I have heard stories--heck, I'm guilty of saying that to people who were adopting! With that in mind, Michael and I continued to take zero precautions after hearing the news of our infertility back in May. It is now September. And this morning, I asked my doctor for birth control pills. I'm going on Seasonale, which gives you only 4 cycles per year--for which I am extremely grateful. The regular cycles are a disappointing reminder to both of us that things didn't pan out like we had planned, and I feel so much better knowing that we won't have those little monthly reminders in our face. If I continued to think, "Well, the doctors could be all wrong" or "stranger things have happened" or "now that the pressure's off, I'll get pregnant", then Michael and I will have to continue living through the hell of emotions that our infertility has caused, all the pain that we've endured the last 6+ years. He and I have made peace with the news that we will not conceive biologically, and we are moving on with our lives. The pills will help regulate and diminish the cycles, and we won't have to worry about the emotions that come up month after month, despite knowing that it isn't likely to happen. My cycle was irregular and uncomfortable and I take great comfort in knowing from here on out when it will happen and being in control of the situation. So no, we will not miraculously conceive after being told we can't. Thanks for the sentiment, but we've heard all of that we can for right now.

Ok, back to happier topics. I've been Brailling some children's books with a client of mine and I was in Borders the other day and I found a really cool book that I can't wait for Michael to read with our little one. It is a scratch and sniff book!! How cool is that?! It has all different kinds of fruit and each page smells like one of them. Remember those scratch and sniff stickers? This book smells exactly like them! Peach, orange, pineapple, lemon, strawberry. It's amazing. So I'm going to Braille the hell out of that sucker.

Ok, that's about it from here for this week. Hopefully I'll have news for you all soon!

Our Fourth Letter of Reference

2008-09-15T16:16:00.002-07:00

So we got a letter of reference in the mail today from our friends Brian and Lara in North Carolina. I've been posting them all on here so I'd have a good record of them, and this one is no exception. It's really lovely and thank you so much, Brian and Lara!

We have known Susan for 11 years and Michael for nearly as long, and we can say without hesitation that they would make wonderful parents. As adoptive parents ourselves, we are quite familiar with the strong desire for children that led us down that path, and we have seen that same desire in them.

Susan and Michael are very family-oriented. They are close to their own families, which gives us confidence that any child they raise will have a very strong support system available from the very beginning, to help nurture the child and give him or her strong family ties and a sense of belonging. They have a very strong marriage, and we have watched their relationship grow and evolve over the years. They exemplify love, loyalty, truth, and commitment to each other and to their ideals.

We can also attest that Susan and Michael have the personal qualities that will make them good parents. They are loving, honest, mature, and well-grounded emotionally. They have proven time and again to be very dependable people, and we have no doubt that they would make caring and responsible paretns. Education is very important to us, and we know without question that a child of Susan and Michael will be read to every day, and that both Susan and Michael understand the importance of a quality education and are committed to provide it to their child. They have shown much love to our daughter, along with the patience and understanding that is required to care for a small child. We would feel perfectly comfortable leaving her in the care of Susan and Michael. (And as for our daughter's opinion, when we visited Susan and Michael a few weeks ago, she was determined to hold Michael's hand rather than one of ours, and begged to stay longer when we had to leave!)

It is a pleasure to know Susan and Michael and to be able to write this letter attesting to their great fitness to be parents. They are both fantastic people, who we are honored to call friends, and they have much to offer any child who is placed in their care. We think highly of both of them, and we are absolutely convinced that they are up to the challenge of parenting. We both look forward to following their adoption journey, and to the day when their dream of being parents is realized.

Yard Sale

2008-09-15T16:16:00.001-07:00

This Saturday is our first attempt at holding a yard sale since moving here. We are attempting to raise some much needed capital for the adoption fees. I don't know how the hell we're going to get it all set up--we have a bunch of junk already and no real tables or anything to put stuff on. Judy and Lucas will be coming down to help out with it, but if anyone else is free on Saturday and wants to take pity on me, please feel free to drop over :) And also if you have any "stuff" you want to get rid of and don't mind donating, please let me know. You can either bring it over or I can try to pick it up tomorrow or Wednesday. I'll be in Fairfax tomorrow and Wednesday mornings and in Fredericksburg tomorrow and Wednesday evenings. Thursday evening I am committed to picking up a futon and mattress from Judy and Lucas's place, thus signaling the end of my Sunday stayovers, as "my" bed is up for sale on Saturday and I'll have nowhere to sleep over there. The end of an era... Sad, but happy...

Anyway, anything we don't sell will be offered on Freecycle first and then we'll donate whatever's left to the local Hospice thrift store. So your goodies and mine will all go to a great cause regardless of what happens to it!

The sale is Saturday from 9:00AM till ???

(X-Posted to BRB blog)

Two More Letters of Reference

2008-09-03T20:59:00.001-07:00

We received two more wonderful letters of reference in the past couple of days and they were so sweet.

The first was from Melissa, who wrote:

I am writing today in reference to Michael and Susan Kosior’s application to adopt a baby. I have known Michael and Susan for a number of years and can say that I wholeheartedly support their plans to parent a child.

Imagine a child being brought up in a home where they are loved for who they are. A home where they are treated with respect, but given limits and boundaries and rules. A home where they are allowed to be creative, even if it means making a mess. A home where the parents are loving and supportive of each other. A home where they are talked to and encouraged to develop their own communication skills. A home where they are read to and where books and learning are a priority.
A child raised in Michael and Susan’s home would experience all this and more! Michael and Susan will be great parents because they have a strong marriage, strong communication skills, and they are willing to learn.

A strong marriage is the foundation for great parenting. Michael and Susan are partners in everything that they do. They have been married for more than six years giving them plenty of time to grow their relationship and fully understand each other. Life has thrown them enough curveballs over the years that they have learned how to be there for each other and in what capacities in order to support each other.

Susan and Michael do an excellent job of communicating with each other. They are very open with each other if something is bothering them or is they are happy about something. Susan and Michael are able to communicate effectively with each other in many different ways, both verbally and nonverbally.

Parenting is a constant learning experience, and they have both already begun the process of learning though reading parenting books and researching the best baby equipment. Being a learner means being willing to adjust your approach as you go in order to meet the needs of the situation and I have seen Susan and Michael do just that. Susan and Michael both are able to take stock in a situation, create a plan and then change the plan as new information comes in.

All three of these characteristics combined with a very strong desire to raise a child create a solid foundation for Michael and Susan as they enter the next chapter of their lives together. They will be excellent parents!

Thank you so much, Melissa!!

The second came from our friend "Little Anne" who lives down the street from us. She wrote:

I have known the Kosiors since the summer of 2005 when Mike and I began sharing our daily commute to work. Since that time, I have been a guest in their home many times. I have watched them interact with one another and with their friends, both young and old, and I can honestly tell you that I couldn’t possibly recommend them highly enough. No one who knows them can help but be impressed by the love and dedication they show to one another and the friendliness and genuine hospitality they freely offer others. Not only that, but it’s obvious that they are both intelligent, hardworking individuals who aren’t afraid of tackling head-on the obstacles life puts in their path.

Looking at each of them separately, both Susan and Mike are impressive in their own way. Susan must surely be the hardest working individual I’ve ever met! Nothing seems to slow her down. In addition to taking care of her home and her husband, she works full-time at what is undoubtedly a very challenging job, and yet she still has time for family, friends and even hobbies like her book club. As for Mike, I am constantly in awe of him and what he has accomplished in his life so far. Instead of wallowing in self-pity or expecting handouts from others, he accepts his physical handicap as simply a part of life and doesn’t allow it to slow him down. His technically-oriented degree and high ranking position with the United States Government are impressive enough in their own right; the fact that he earned both while blind makes it doubly so.

Please don’t take this to mean that Mike and Susan are all work and no play. That’s most definitely not the case. They’re both fun, imaginative, outgoing people who always seem to have a smile on their faces. I believe any child of Mike and Susan will be presented with a world of opportunities to explore. Imagination will be encouraged and I know Mike and Susan will make sure whatever sports or physical activities the child is interested in will be made available. I’m sure travel, art, music and books will also play an important part in the child’s life, as will an extended circle of friends and family.

As regards their abilities to parent a child, there is no doubt that Mike and Susan will face difficulties, but what parent doesn’t? Any child who can call the Kosiors “Mom and Dad” will have the benefit of two loving, caring parents to guide him/her as well as a wonderful example of persevering against the odds and winning. (Personally, I hope my own son has the continued benefit of knowing them and learning from their example.) In addition, I believe a child adopted by Susan and Mike will grow up feeling secure in the knowledge of being truly wanted. Providing a child with a strong, stable, loving foundation from which to face the world is an invaluable gift that I believe they’re both more than ready and able to give.

I know that Mike and Susan have an abundance of love in their hearts and that they long for a child to share it with. I think they’ll be wonderful parents and any child chosen for them will be truly blessed. I am definitely looking forward to welcoming the new member of the Kosior family, hopefully in the very near future.

Thank you, Anne!

These letters made each of us a little weepy. I'm going to start asking for letters of reference for all kinds of things--they really are a boost to the ole ego. :-)

Seriously, though, it's so flattering to read these letters and read of people's regard for us. We know how much we love each of our friends and family members, but it's not always something that gets put into words. And I don't think it necessarily needs to be either, if you can demonstrate through your actions and times together how you hold your friends in such high esteem.

But it's nice to have these beautiful letters as a testament to our relationship with each other and with the people we love and respect.

The Nursery is Painted!

2008-09-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

There is only so much you can do while you are waiting for your child to come home. But a fun thing is to get the nursery in order.

Obviously this would be easier to do if I knew we were having a boy or a girl, but we don't and we may not find out till the last minute. So I was just messing around on the Target.com site and looking at all the things I could get for a new baby and I happened upon a fun bedding set that was totally me while being totally neutral.

I nearly decided against it because the company making it is called "Babylicious" which makes me think of that little twerp on Project Runway who calls everything "Licious" this and "Licious" that and I sure don't want a Babylicious. I'll take a baby, thanks.

But ultimately good taste won out over idiocy and I bought it. It arrived last week and I love it.

Here's a little preview:

The only difference is that it didn't arrive with the checkerboard along the inside, which I am hearing as a complaint from many people. It has stripes instead. But I don't much care, I bought it for the polka dots.

So anyway, above you can see the before shot. Someone had plastered a lovely Americana border around the top of the room, which apparently complimented the forest green they painted the baseboards, window frames, and closet doors. (And for added fun, you can see the bunny supplies.) Well, Lucas more or less took care of the forest green issues, and I spent Sunday ripping down the wallpaper border. Unfortunately, and much to my chagrin, the people had slapped it up there to hide the fact that the crappy paint they used in the first place was cracked and peeling. So I had to repair that first.

Ultimately, I decided on a real sassy green for the nursery. Despite my current aversion to Home Depot, they were having a sale on paint this weekend, and I happen to love Behr Paint, and they happened to have a color I was in love with in their chips, and so I temporarily forgave them for the flooring debacle.

Here is the color on the walls:

The color is called Honeydew, and I think you'll agree it's quite sassy. It also matches beautifully with the color of the bedding and I really love it. It's very fresh and spring-y. Now that the room is painted, I can put down flooring. The next task will be the flooring, but I'm already 2 strikes down and starting to get discouraged just a little bit.

Anyway, Lucas was down this weekend, so the paint went up in under 2 hours for 2 coats. Turns out he is an excellent painter. I took the high road and he took the low road and we shared the cutting in. I'm going to be looking for some cute little switchplate and outlet covers and then once the flooring is in, I can work on finding furniture.

But it's nice to see something tangible in place. Oh and TomTom is still high as a kite on paint fumes!!! And seriously angry about all the disruptions in HIS room. Since we keep calling it The Bunny Room, does this mean we can call Baby Kosior "the bunny" until s/he gets here?

The Word is Out at Work

2008-08-25T19:09:00.001-07:00

So today, I broke the news of our impending adoption at work. Team DBVI Fairfax was extremely supportive and sent a number of lovely messages. Our office manager even called me half in tears over the news. It's so exciting to have some recognition, and makes it feel even more real.

My officemate, Kris, is an adoptive mom of a son from Korea and she wrote us a letter of reference and dropped it and two books on adoption on my desk. I thought I would exerpt the letter here and add in some of the emails I got from my colleagues.

Kris's letter:

I am writing this to recommend Mike and Susan Kosior to adopt a child. I have known Susan for four years. We have been colleagues, office mates, and friends for the past four years as fellow employees of the Department of the Blind. She has a good working relationship with everybody in the office.

Susan is a very sweet person and I consider it a privilege to know her. She is funny, nice, and usually has a smile on her face. She is tolerant and nice to people who don't think like her in various areas (i.e. me!). She has a very easygoing personality but she is not a pushover. She has leadership abilities. She took charge of a special program the Department did last spring providing services to our elder population. The program ran smoothly under her leadership and there was no in house jostling for power.

I have also spent time with Mike socially at their house and they have both been to mine. Mike also seems to be a very nice person. Mike is a foodball addict and wants to see his Boston team win all their games. He appears very knowledgable and dedicated to his job. His computer knowledge keeps the country safe from international hackers. Mike and Susan's marriage seems to be solid. They have been together for over five years.

It is my opinion that Mike and Susan would be wonderful parents and have a lot of love to share with a baby.

Isn't that the nicest letter? I've left out the rest as it has some details I'm not ready to share yet, but I really love this. So sweet. Thanks, Kris!

Some emails from colleagues:

**That is fabulous, Susan!!!! I've had friends who have adopted and it can be frustrating but I think it's the way to go--give a home to an otherwise unwanted child is to give a second chance at life! It's the way I'd go if I ever decided to have kids--either that or foster care. This is if I ever find Mr Right! (who's name is NOT "Always" :) [NB from Susan: I have a little flip chart type of thing on my desk with all kinds of sassy comments. The one currently showing says "I married Mr. Right. I just didn't know his first name was "Always."]

**Babies are adorable!!!!!!!! Yeah.... Can't wait until you get your little baby... Are you going to bring him or her in to the office?
Hey, I will volunteer to babysit!!!!!

**That is a very sweet heart warming story. Thanks for sharing, I am sure you will make wonderful parents.

**My hearty congratulations to both of you in advance, what a wonderful thing to do giving best life to a kid. I wish you both all the success.

**Susan, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Motherhood is wonderful.

**AHHHHHHH. This is soooooo BEAUTIFUL. I am sooooooo excited, Congratulations! Of course I want to be in the know every step of the way!

Home Visit Was Today

2008-08-22T10:22:00.001-07:00

Beth arrived a little bit early and it was great. There was a Q&A period, including what religion we'd be raising the baby in, who the guardians will be, what our philosophy of parenting and discipline is, how we feel about adoption and birth parents, etc. Then we did a quick tour of the house. I was all worked up over it, but actually, it was no big deal. Just a quick walkthrough of each room, in and out, and that was that. Our house "is beautiful" and "smells so good". And TomTom got some lovin', so he was happy too!

Next big day is September 2nd, the day after Labor Day. We will be going back to Richmond to meet with the attorney and with Beth for our final meeting before our homestudy is complete and finalized. And then we will submit our physicals and our references should be in and our background checks. And as soon as all of that is complete, we will be "paper pregnant". Hopefully by mid-October.

That's all for now. In the mean time, I'll be doing battle in the bunny room, trying to turn it into an actual nursery. I'll be taking picture as the time goes by and the room starts to shape up.

Two Thumbs Up

2008-08-07T18:26:00.001-07:00

We had our fingerprints taken today for our homestudy. If you squint hard, you can see the ink. We had the nicest State Police trooper do our prints, and tomorrow they're getting mailed off to Richmond. This is our version of the growing bellies pictures, considering our bellies are shrinking ;-)

Another task on the "to do" list accomplished.

(Yes, I have a squinchy eye. No I do not know why. I think it's because I don't like flash in my eyes and I'm really forcing myself not to blink.)

First Meeting

2008-07-31T14:50:00.000-07:00

Today we had our first meeting with our social worker, Beth, down in Richmond. It was a really, really nice meeting. We liked her so much. She is a rabid Red Sox fan, so of course, it was like meeting the family!

She asked our preferences for a child, and apart from healthy, we don't have a preference in terms of gender or race. We did express our concerns about raising a child of another race in general terms and she gave us some resources about the subject to read up on. So hopefully that will help us feel more prepared.

Because we are so flexible and open in our quest to have babies delivered to our home, she is estimating somewhere in the next 12 months, we should have our little one home. It could take longer, and if we wanted a "kid who looks like us" it would take up to 2 years. We are also the only family they have right now who is open to interracial adoption, which should help.

Our home visit will take place on August 22nd. I am looking forward to it. In the meantime, we are getting our ducks in a row in terms of finishing up the paperwork we have to do--getting fingerprinted, firming up our finances, contacting and hiring an attorney, etc. (Anyone know any good attornies to help with an adoption?)

It's exciting and terrifying to think that this time next year we could be parents. But overall, the meeting was great and I felt like we really got a great fit with the social worker, the agency, and what our goals are.

Is Adoption For You?

2008-07-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Melissa sent this and I really liked it...

The Top 13 Reasons Why Adoption is For You!

1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.

2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.

3. You can’t watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.

4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.

5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.

6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child’s “real” parents.

7. You have ever been “pregnant” with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth. (2 years!)

8. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide.

9. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the world with a child you just met.

10. You believe God’s heart is for adoption.

11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.

12. You know what the word “Dossier” means, and you can actually pronounce it!

13. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.

The Appointment That Wasn't

2008-07-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

So today was supposed to be our initial meeting with the social worker. The General and I have been spending the entire week sweating the paperwork. We've written tons and tons of stuff about ourselves, filled out myriad forms, etc. It's crazy.

We've also spent the last two weekends working on the house--painting, ripping up carpet, washing walls, etc.

Yesterday the housekeeper came, the house was in shipshape, everyone was ready and waiting for word of how the appointment would go.

11:30, no social worker. 11:35, no social worker. 11:40, no social worker. By noon, I figured she was well and truly lost, and then the phone rang. It was here.

Beth: We had an appointment today.

Me: Yes, we did. Where are you?

Beth: I'm calling to find out the same thing.

Me: We're here waiting for you.

Beth: You're supposed to come to my office.

Me: No, you're coming here.

Beth: No, you're coming here.

Lo and behold, the signals got crossed. When I had first spoken to her on the phone, she had mentioned a surcharge of $50 if it took her longer than an hour each way to get to our house, so I just assumed that meant she would be coming here.

Unfortunately, I forgot the ole adage of never assume. So we are rescheduled for next Thursday, 7/31 at 10:30am. Which is kind of funny, since that is also my first PT day.

So I was really upset with myself for not making sure I knew what was going on, and the General wasted a day off work in the process. Still, we now have longer to do some more stuff to the room, so that's good, since I've decided to rip out the closet, and we still need to do some work on the floors. As in, deciding what floors we want and having them installed.

So, that's the news. Hang on for more come next Thursday!

Transfer Post: Getting The Ball Rolling

2008-07-18T18:51:00.001-07:00

The General and I attended an adoption 101 seminar in Richmond in June. We wanted to learn about the different types of adoption and hopefully meet some other people that were in the same boat as us.

It was a really great seminar, sponsored by RESOLVE, a national infertility resource center. We met other couples, social workers, an attorney, etc. and got tons of information and were able to make some decisions about how to proceed.

Ultimately, we've decided on a domestic adoption. The tides are turning against the US internationally, for reasons that I can't necessarily say I disagree with. Add in the fact that we're overweight and one of us has a disability, and it seemed like domestic adoption was the way to go. I spoke with a social worker while we were at the seminar, and got her card. I emailed her when we got back about getting the ball rolling when we got back from The Wedding, and we spoke on the phone this morning.

In other words, we're getting started. She's sending us some documentation to get ready and she'll be here to visit us on July 25th. Lara has sent me a copy of her homestudy and some books to read--one of which I devoured already--and it helped us understand what to expect and what to have prepared.

So, there are some things to do before Beth arrives.

The main one is to totally and completely gut the bunny room. TomTom on his own is a very clean rabbit. He's litter trained for peeing in a litter box, he keeps his food in his cage, etc. However, at one point, we were housing 5 rabbits in there, and he got a little territorial. And before I had the bunnies trained, they laid waste to the room. The carpet needs to be torn up. The walls need a good scrubbing. We need new flooring and to touch up the trim and closet doors.

We're starting this weekend.

If anyone out there has any experience installing laminate flooring or is interested in helping with painting, I'd love to hear from you :-) I will happily offer you compensation in the form of pizza and beer. You can drop me an email at s u s a n k ( a t ) m k o s i o r ( d o t ) c o m.

I am excited and terrified... But after 6 years of uncertainty, it feels so good to take a step forward.

I don't think I have it within me to start another new blog, so this blog will be your chief source of information for the latest. And thank you so much to all who have lent their ears, tissues, and support over the past 3 months. It has really meant the world to me.