Last Post-Placement Today!

Today we traveled to Richmond for our final post-placement adoption meeting with our marvelous social worker, Beth Johnston. It went very well, and we took care of all the last payments to JFS (Thank you, credit card, for arriving!). Apparently the interlocutory order will expire next Saturday and then Beth can submit our paperwork to the courts recommending that our adoption be finalized.

We got home and dropped a quick email to our attorney, Colleen, and she is ready for action on her end. We will hear from her paralegal soon about some other paperwork and then get a court date!!!

In all, it took from July 31, 2008 to November 6, 2009 to get from our first homestudy visit to our final post-placement appointment. Not too bad at all :-) We went from zero to family in just over a year.

Updates!

Ok, it's been a couple weeks and I'm going to try and be better about updating a bit more regularly. However, please don't feel shy about inviting yourself over to visit Leah if you haven't gotten to see her yet! Just drop me an email or contact me over at Facebook and we'll set up a time!

So we had Leah's 4 month appointment on August 24th--a bit late but better late than never. She had her next round of booster shots which was not pleasant, but we got through it. I'm hoping we're almost done with them! She weighed in at 15 pounds, 1 ounce and was 23 1/2 inches long. She has developed a little rash, but it seems to be clearing up. They swabbed her throat for strep just in case the mystery virus was still hanging on and man did she hate that! But the results came back clear and the rash is clearing up, so we're chalking that one up to heat and drool.

On August 28th, Beth our social worker came by the house for our second post-placement follow up visit. It was a nice visit all around, I was proud to show her Leah's room, which was a rabbit hutch the first time she was here. She loved it and loved the color, which made me feel great! We had a great visit--talked about Leah's health, about relations with the birthmom, any issues coming up relating to stress and parenting, and that was about it. She was telling us about some hot springs she had taken her son to when he was little and needed some soothing and I later asked her about it again and she told me where they were. I've looked them up on line and found the B&B and resort where they are located and Michael and I have decided to go there for our anniversary next year.

Other than that, Leah is doing just great! I can't believe another month has flown by almost--in one week she'll be 5 months old and I'll be writing another letter. Sheesh, they weren't kidding when they said time goes by so quickly. It's breath-taking. Her development and growth changes every day. Occasionally now, she will sit up on her own for a few seconds at a time--like 10-15 seconds before tipping over. She has got the biggest, happiest smile and amazes me every day.

In other news, my friend Donna is finishing up her homestudy. I'm so excited for her and hope her journey goes as smoothly as ours has been! Congratulations, Donna! Can't wait to meet your baby!

First Post-Placement Visit

Last Friday, the Kosior Three trooped down to Richmond to meet with Beth at JFS for our first post-placement meeting. We weren't sure what to expect, but it was a great meeting.

First off, it was exciting to introduce Leah to Beth. It's hard to believe, but it hasn't even been a year since we had our first meeting with her. Our adoption has gone so well that none of us can believe how quickly and smoothly it went.

The meeting was a mixture of checking in on Leah, checking in on us, and giving us advice and information about transracial adoption.

The Leah stuff was pretty straight forward--how much she weighs, how long she is, her head circumference, how she's been sleeping and eating, how she is interacting with us and with other people. Had we heard from Tasha, how that was going.

The us stuff was a little unexpected and gave me some things to think about! We talked about how adoptive families often don't feel they have the right to complain if they are tired or just having a bad day, because people say, "Well, this is what you wanted for so long, how can you complain about it?" I mentioned feeling pressure because I was aware of what Tasha had given up and how much faith and trust she was putting in us to raise Leah in her place. When things go wrong or not exactly as I had planned, I feel like I'm letting down everyone who believed in us as parents--the people who wrote us references, Tasha, Beth, Colleen, ourselves... But Beth helped me to put things into perspective and kind of admonished me not to be so hard on myself--which was a message I needed to hear!

We talked about transracial adoption a bit as well. Beth made a couple of recommendations for us--the DVD Adopted by Bob Lee and the book Beyond Good Intentions by Cheri Register. She had already given us some information from the Rainbow Kids website. It's hard to think of these types of issues popping up. When I look at Leah, I see Leah--I don't see black Leah and at this point, I don't think she sees white Mama. But we do have to be prepared because eventually the world will impress upon her the differences between us and better that she be ready and we be ready to help guide her through it. I've found a number of books, articles, and websites on transracial adoption and it looks like we've got an interesting road ahead of us, no matter if we have the best case scenario or the worst. Time to get ready for whatever comes our way!

So that was it! We set up our next appointment for August 29th at our house. When Beth was here last, there was a rabbit living in Leah's bedroom so it'll be nice to show her the new digs! (Hopefully Joe gets the mural painted before then.) I wasn't really nervous about it and now I'm glad I wasn't. It was like a conversation with a much wiser friend.

Phase 3 Begins!

We heard from our social worker, Beth, today. She has received the court order that will allow her to go ahead and schedule her mandated visits with us to make sure that Leah's progressing and we're doing everything we can to be good parents for her! This is really exciting--it means that all our paperwork was submitted and now we can do these visits and march on towards the finalization of the adoption this fall or winter.

Our first meeting with Beth is next week in Richmond. We haven't seen her really since last summer, so it'll be great to see her again and to introduce her to Leah!

You will recall that we will have 3 visits total. It's exciting to have this phase under way and hopefully have it all go smoothly so we can finalize the adoption!

What's Next?

We got an email from Beth, our wonderful social worker, who set us straight on what's next. Turns out that (like usual) I have my facts screwed up! So here it is straight from the horse's mouth:

Since the adoption is being finalized in VA, we go by VA standards for post placement. Once I get the Interlocutory Order, I have 6 months to complete 3 post placements. These visits cover basic things like bonding and attachment, the baby’s schedule, developmental milestones, medical issues. Two are in the office and one is in the home. Usually 1 and 3 are in the office, 2 one is in your home. After I complete the 3rd one then, I send a Report of Visitation to the Court, that gives my endorsement for the adoption to be finalized. After that you are done!! (and then we start all over again??)

So there you have it! Three more visits :-) I'm excited too because Beth asked me to do a little write up for their waiting parents newsletter and also asked if we'd be willing to speak on a panel. Our adoption experience has been so overwhelmingly positive that honestly I wish I could get into adoption myself somehow for a career. I'll have to think about it. Regardless, I'm excited about these two opportunities.

We also got Leah's first doctor's appointment set up with her doctor here in Virginia. She'll be seeing Dr. Kathleen Crane on June 3rd. I'm sad that Mike's and my doctor is not currently accepting new patients, but Dr. Crane is in the same practice and I've seen her before and REALLY liked her a lot.

Home Visit Was Today

Beth arrived a little bit early and it was great. There was a Q&A period, including what religion we'd be raising the baby in, who the guardians will be, what our philosophy of parenting and discipline is, how we feel about adoption and birth parents, etc. Then we did a quick tour of the house. I was all worked up over it, but actually, it was no big deal. Just a quick walkthrough of each room, in and out, and that was that. Our house "is beautiful" and "smells so good". And TomTom got some lovin', so he was happy too!

Next big day is September 2nd, the day after Labor Day. We will be going back to Richmond to meet with the attorney and with Beth for our final meeting before our homestudy is complete and finalized. And then we will submit our physicals and our references should be in and our background checks. And as soon as all of that is complete, we will be "paper pregnant". Hopefully by mid-October.

That's all for now. In the mean time, I'll be doing battle in the bunny room, trying to turn it into an actual nursery. I'll be taking picture as the time goes by and the room starts to shape up.

First Meeting

Today we had our first meeting with our social worker, Beth, down in Richmond. It was a really, really nice meeting. We liked her so much. She is a rabid Red Sox fan, so of course, it was like meeting the family!

She asked our preferences for a child, and apart from healthy, we don't have a preference in terms of gender or race. We did express our concerns about raising a child of another race in general terms and she gave us some resources about the subject to read up on. So hopefully that will help us feel more prepared.

Because we are so flexible and open in our quest to have babies delivered to our home, she is estimating somewhere in the next 12 months, we should have our little one home. It could take longer, and if we wanted a "kid who looks like us" it would take up to 2 years. We are also the only family they have right now who is open to interracial adoption, which should help.

Our home visit will take place on August 22nd. I am looking forward to it. In the meantime, we are getting our ducks in a row in terms of finishing up the paperwork we have to do--getting fingerprinted, firming up our finances, contacting and hiring an attorney, etc. (Anyone know any good attornies to help with an adoption?)

It's exciting and terrifying to think that this time next year we could be parents. But overall, the meeting was great and I felt like we really got a great fit with the social worker, the agency, and what our goals are.