Day 2

We spent this afternoon with B and her family at her apartment. Nothing doing, although a lot of mucous released itself while we were sitting there, which is freaking her out. Her first pregnancy didn't extend this late in the game so she's not used to all the bodily changes.

Tomorrow she has a doctor's appointment at the hospital to see what's going on. We will attend that with her and then if it looks like nothing doing, we will probably return home for a couple days to wait it out.

On the upside, I might get to see the cherry blossoms after all!

On our way!

Yesterday I was at work on a client visit when my cell rang. This is highly unusual! And even more unusual, it was my husband :-) He had checked our messages at home and it was B. calling to say that the doctors expect her water to break in 24-48 hours--she is having regular contractions and has dilated about 2cm. She suggested we needed to come on up!

So last night we did laundry and got our ducks in a row. We called our friend Tom, with whom we are staying during this extravaganza, alerted the attorneys, and this morning we headed up to Laurel. We called B. and she reported her contractions have continued and are getting stronger, but her water hasn't broken yet. We got to Tom's around 11 and I took a nap for 2 hours--I was tired I guess! But everyone is telling us to take naps while we can.

So we are just hanging out here. Tom gave us a tour of Laurel so that we could find grocery stores, Walmarts, etc. Just waiting for the call that it's time to go to the hospital! This is exciting!

If you are a Twitter user, please follow me (username katekosior) or my friend Lauren (username lvitsa) for updates from the hospital if I'm not able to post them from the laptop. (Not sure what the wireless situation is over there!)

Will post more as we get more action! I'm still hoping baby comes tomorrow!

Awww!

We are looking after our niece this evening and I just snapped this picture. Doesn't it make your heart melt? Leah's going to be a total daddy's girl.

Final Carpentry Projects Complete! (& Birthday Guesses?)

Our neighbor Aaron brought his contractor over this evening and they put up the two shelves on the wall in Leah's room that we had left. Since "Uncle Doug" put a bar and shelves in the closet this weekend, we can now say that all carpentry is COMPLETE! I just have to finish putting down carpet tiles in the closet, which I will get to this weekend.

The alphabet poster is also done and hanging, but I almost immediately realized that some of it is off-kilter, so I need to re-do a couple of letters. It was a fun project and went VERY quickly, so I'm pleased to say it was worth spending the 30 minutes to do it versus paying for it through the nose.

B.'s next doctor's appointment is tomorrow at the hospital. I meant to call her tonight but was babysitting, so I didn't have the chance. I'll be clinging to the phone tomorrow! I still have a good feeling about Sunday. Anyone else want to take a guess on Baby's birthday? We can start a friendly pool--no money, but the closest guess gets all the glory!

Baby News and Money Info

Today was B's test to see if she was developing pre-eclampsia. Part of the testing was to do a sonogram/ultrasound and see that the baby was fine. The tech asked us if we knew what the baby was. We responded that it was a boy. The tech asked if we wanted her to make sure. We said, "Yes!" (B. and I are starting to think like one mind! Scary!)

The tech did some poking around with the wand and said, "I don't think this is a boy." I looked at B. and she looked at me. We were both bug-eyed, mouths hanging open, shocked. So the tech said, "Ok, well, we'll come back to that in a bit, let's do these other tests." I kept thinking, "Oh my God, it's a girl, oh my God, my dad is going to have a heart attack, oh my God, what are we going to name her?"

A few minutes later, the tech went back to baby's bum and started moving the wand around again. She said, "I don't see any boy parts, but I'm pretty sure these are girl parts" and started pointing them out. We were like, "No! Seriously!?" So the tech said, "I could be wrong, would you like a second opinion? But I'm telling you, I'd be willing to put money on it." Yes, we wanted a second opinion! So another tech came in, and did some poking around and said, "This is most definitely a girl."

Um, gulp! SURPRISE! :-) Thank God we did a neutral nursery is all I can say. I called Mike from the lobby of the hospital and he was just fine with the news, as of course was I. Then I called my sister and gave her the news while Mike called his parents. I called my mom and emailed my dad and brother-in-law and Mike called his sister. Then we had to come up with a name...

Over the phone from my office when I got back to work, we decided on Leah Katherine. I've always liked the name Leah and Katherine is a family name on my side of the family (and is my middle name!). So, surprise! We're having a girl.

B. has to go back to the doctor on Thursday for further monitoring and has another appointment on Friday with her regular clinic doctor. I'm hopeful that they will induce her on Thursday, as I am worried for her health. She is VERY swollen and her blood pressure is high, proteins are creeping into her urine, all signs of pre-eclampsia. However, they're putting it off another couple of days. Fingers crossed, she and Baby Leah will be fine and dandy and hang in there another couple of days. The sonogram picture here was taken today while B. and I had our mouths hanging open.

And in other great news, B. has gotten engaged! Her best friend of many years popped the question over the weekend. She's made that she's all swollen because she can't wear her new sparkly engagement ring. Another reason to have this baby!

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Someone made some comments to family members recently about the fact that we have a donation button on our blog here. While we appreciate the concern about the state of our finances, we're doing just fine. However, since this appears to be something people are concerned about, Mike and I figured we would deal with it head on.

It is tremendously, ridiculously expensive to adopt a newborn baby. While some friends and family members have commented that they are sure their pregnancies cost as much, our response is, "Yes, but your insurance paid the majority of the bills associated with your having a baby."

We do not have this luxury. To date, the Adoption Fairy has not dropped a fat check in our laps and told us to build a family for free. There is no adoption insurance, just in case you can't get pregnant. Additionally, adoptive mothers don't get short term disability payments after the birth--they get 12 weeks unpaid time off, period.

This is what we have paid to date:

$2,100 home study
$9,200 attorney fees
$16,000 agency fees
$1,040 birthmother expenses (estimated $520-$1040 still to be paid)

This does not include postage, copying, gas, mileage, phone calls, and meals. And it is to say nothing of the costs of preparing for a baby--bottles, formula, diapers, clothes, furniture, etc. We were so lucky to have people come to our rescue with showers and hand-me-downs and we've done a lot of bargain shopping, but when you start out $30,000 behind the eight ball, you've got some catching up to do.

We were tremendously lucky to receive a loan from a family member that covered approximately 2/3 the cost of the adoption. We have had to pay the rest ourselves. We covered what we could from our savings and fundraising efforts, charged the rest to credit cards, and paid everything off with this year's tax return.

To date, between the donation button, the Pampered Chef fundraiser, and a yard sale, our fundraising efforts have generated approximately $700, not enough to cover one single category of the above expenses.

Despite the fact that we both have great jobs, neither one of our employers offers adoption assistance. We have a mortgage, car payment, and student loan payments, as well as the regular expenses of living--food, utilities, gas, insurance, etc. Don't misunderstand, we are able to cover all of this with our regular paychecks. We have ZERO credit card debt. We have lived throughout our marriage that if we want something, we either have the money to buy it or we wait until we do. We learned to economize when Mike lost his job 6 years ago and have put those principles into action. You all know us. While our friends have taken fabulous vacations to Europe, the Caribbean, and the Pacific, we've visited friends in Georgia and Kentucky and taken treks to Myrtle Beach.

However, I am about to leave my job and we did need to be sure to put at least a bit of money aside "just in case". And we have done so. And in today's economy, that says something, that after paying off the above expenses on top of everything else, we can still put some money aside "just in case". Apart from pushing the heck out of the Pampered Chef fundraiser, we have not asked anyone for money. We put the button/link on the page in case anyone cared to donate some money to the cause. Several people have, and for that we are TRULY grateful--every little bit has helped beyond measure. And we have gotten away "cheap" because we didn't care a whit about the baby's skin color and because we won't have to pay for our travel or lodging once the baby is born (lest you think we're kidding, many of the leads we've gotten on babies have had agency fees upwards of $35,000 and the kids are being born to drug addicts and the mentally ill, and that $35,000 doesn't cover travel, birthmom expenses, or legal fees in many cases.). In today's economy it is not possible to drop $30,000 without feeling a pinch.

This is why there is a donation button on the page. If you do not wish to donate, feel free to ignore it. If you care to discuss this any further, please contact us directly. You can email me at s u s a n k ( a t ) m k o s i o r ( d o t ) c o m or Mike at m i k e ( a t ) m k o s i o r ( d o t ) c o m. Kindly share your concerns directly with us, versus members of our families or friends.

Our nursery is mostly complete!

Yesterday my sister and brother-in-law stopped by to visit with our niece and we spent some time having lunch. Then I ran over to Cracker Barrel to get a rocking chair--yes, we made it official and decided to get a rocker there instead of a glider. We were all sitting around and just decided to go up to Ikea to pick up a bureau I wanted to use as a dresser/changing table in the nursery so that I could pay Lucas in pizza to assemble it, and then finally I'd be able to put everything away.

Last night, I couldn't breathe when I was in bed, so I took some Sudafed PM, hoping it would knock me out. Fat chance. It did less than nothing to alleviate my congestion (next stop for Sudafed PM: the trash!). So I got back up and decided to clean up the nursery and put everything away. I took some pictures this morning. Hope you like 'em! I'm thrilled with how everything looks and now all we need is a baby!

We organized the books by color :-) Yes, we're just that anal


Mr. Ted has been my teddy bear for over 18 years. I hope baby loves him as much as I do!


The bureau is so big, I was able to fit in all the cloth diapers, blankets, crib sheets, swaddlers, wipes, and his clothes that we received as gifts!! Go Ikea!

Several friends have given me gifts of chocolate for "Mom emergencies"--some high test, some Weight Watchers friendly. The stash is in the super cool clock Michael picked out for him--open clock, diffuse chocolate emergency!

The other day, Michael and I were talking about the baby and I said, "I wonder what he's going to be like when he grows up?" like what kind of a person or what kind of job he'll have, that type of thing. My husband pipes up, "Well, I know one thing for damned sure! He's going to be a Patriots fan." To that end, we went on a little shopping spree on NFL.com



While the banner and pennant do not match the decor, you can bet they'll be proudly displayed in that room. And as you can see in front of the flag, baby already has his first Patriots uniform.

Next up will be the wall decor and putting up a couple of more shelves that I bought to hang on the wall. We also need to install a bar and some shelving in the closet, but that's totally full of 'stuff' so it'll have to wait. At least the room is cleaned up and ready :)

New Projects & New News

So I've got several projects in the works apart from the big "Build baby a bureau" and "clean the nursery" projects. One of them involves putting something on the walls of the nursery, which apart from that awesome green paint are blank canvasses at the moment.

I've wanted to put an alphabet poster up on the wall since my ideas about the nursery started coming to me. I did mega-research. Since the room was not going to be a pastel haven with lots of cute little fluffy animals, I needed to find an alphabet poster that would be a little more modern. It took a long time. A very long time. And when I finally found what I liked, it led to the question of, "WHAT!?" Seriously. Here is the poster I like. See any problems with it? Like the $85 price tag and it doesn't even come framed!?

Yeah. Not good. But if there's one thing I pride myself on, it's that I'm a pretty savvy shopper, especially on line. If there's a bargain to be had, I will usually find it. But I searched high and low and I couldn't find this poster for cheaper. Not even on Ebay.

I turned to my friends at Amazon.com Nothing. But they did offer a glimmer of hope. They didn't offer the poster, but they offered a set of notecards with the Binth alphabet on them, one card per letter, at a total cost of $16.95. (They'd be cool just as postcards, forget anything else! Want a set? Click here).

So baby project #1 is to make these into a poster or set of posters somehow and mount them on the wall. They're beautiful and I love the colors and the fun drawings, especially I is for Inchworm :-) And L for lobster is a nice nod to his New England heritage. I think this is going to be a lot of fun to put together.

I was also on a hunt for a baby book for him. It is kind of a pain in the butt to keep up with those little projects, but my mom made them for both my sister and I and they are something I cherish. I did some book store hunting, but most everything included "Here's how mommy found out she was pregnant." I did find one book that said, "Here's how we found out we were expecting you" which was good, but then it said, "Here's what Mommy was craving"... Not so good.

I was pretty sure that there must be adoption memory books out there, and so again turned to Amazon.com and started looking. Voila! There were several options, but ultimately I decided on Our Chosen Child by Judy Pelikan and Judith Levy. I like the design of it a lot, and last night Michael and I looked through it and read it together and much of it we can fill out already. It was kind of silly though, it goes all the way through the teen years (I think just in case you adopt an older child) and then adds a page for "your special day" and I said, "My God, I don't even want to think about him getting married" and burst into tears! Yeah, I'm a mess.

I also got a hanging photoclip mobile and I thought it would be fun to get B. a disposable digital camera and ask her to take a series of pictures that we could turn into a mobile and hang in his room. We'll see how she feels about that project.

Yesterday while I was blogging about the hell our nursery had become, the phone rang and it was B.! She was calling with an update about her Monday doctor's appointment. She went and told them that she was having a lot of trouble breathing and they said it was probably because the baby is a pretty good size and was pushing on all those muscles. Still, they decided to send her for a sonogram, so she went over to the hospital (Darn it! I MISSED IT!) and they did a sonogram (he still didn't want to show off his junk, so they still can't confirm 100% that it's a boy, but he better be, we have a LOT of boy clothes now). They estimated his current weight to be 9 pounds 6 ounces. Now everyone is telling me that it could be off either way by a pound, but 8 pounds 6 ounces is still a big baby, as is 10 pounds 6 ounces! B. said when she heard that news, she started crying, she is afraid of having to push out a baby that big and of having to have a c-section. I tried to offer her words of reassurance, but really, what can I say!? "Good drugs and a bottle of champagne afterwards?" She made me swear I wouldn't videotape the birth--which I hadn't planned on--and said I could shoot all the video and take all the pictures I wanted to after the fact, but not during 'the action' as she calls it. She also said that the hospital told her she could have 3 people in the labor and delivery room with her and she told the hospital that her first 2 picks were us, so they are aware of her plans.

So that's where we are right now. I am going to have to experiment with Blogger's privacy settings--we feel it is most important to keep B's privacy in highest regard. She is not computer savvy, and so we don't want to do anything that she wouldn't want us to in terms of posting pictures, etc. to a public space, but at the same time, we want to be able to share our joy at his birth and share photos with our nearest and dearest. I know Blogger will allow us to make this entire blog "by invitation only" which would mean you'd have to let me know you want access to the password. What I'm wondering is if we can just protect certain posts, so that if we got pictures of us with B as a family after the birth, we could just protect those posts with her image in them.

Other items we are discussing--our first date night! We have a tentative date planned for May 13th to go to a concert in DC, just waiting to speak with the ticket office about happy handicapped seating and then it's official. Anyone wanna babysit? :-)

We've also been getting strange calls from strange numbers in the middle of the night, so we're thinking we need to start packing for when the time comes that we do get The Call. Even if we just pack up cameras and baby gear and then only have to worry about our own clothing, etc., at least we're that step ahead of the game. So this is the game plan. We've been talking about it for a while, but we just haven't done it yet! So time to do it.

Our new freezer arrived yesterday, so we are probably going to renew our BJ's membership and start buying items in bulk--hopefully they have formula there, which should cut down on the cost considerably, although B. has offered us her formula vouchers, so that should help a lot too. When my mom comes to stay, I want to do a lot of cooking with her so we can load up the freezer and then I'll be able to just pull meals out and heat them up without worrying about it too much.

All baby's laundry is done except his cloth diapers, but I plan to use disposables for a few weeks while we get adjusted and then transition to cloth, so I'm not worried about that for now. Our washing machine died a painful death last night (it's less than a year old!), so it's being repaired tomorrow and then we can wash our clothes and be ready to roll in the event something happens soon! I'll keep everyone posted about going private and how to contact me to get put on the privilege list :-)