Maybe a Little Spoiled!

So if I had any doubts about how many of you are excited and already love this little boy, all worries were allayed in the past week. Between yesterday and the previous Monday, no fewer than 3 baby showers were held in our honor, two of which were total surprises. To begin to thank everyone would take FOREVER, but I'm going to do my darnedest.

Last Monday was book club. We were meeting at Elizabeth's house in Reston, which I have a bad history with (Reston, not her house!). The first time we ever had book club there, we got on the Dulles toll road and I allowed my sister to convince me that what we needed to do was get on the Dulles Access Road. We took a damned 30 minute detour and wound up at book club close to 45 minutes late. I don't do late. Late and I don't agree. Since that experience, nearly 5 years ago, I make damned sure to never take the Dulles Access Road unless I'm going to the airport and to leave early.

But my sister was feeling pokey that night. She took her time making the monkey bread she was bringing, getting Dottie changed and put together for her first time at book club, getting down to the car, etc. etc. etc. We finally got moving and got to Elizabeth's at about 7:20, and my sister says, "Don't you want to sit out here till you see someone go in like we always do?" Yes, ladies, we're just always that early that we arrive usually no later than 7:15 and then sit in the car so we don't look like total losers and are the first ones there--it's my code of book club ethics, but that's why you love me, right?!

So I said, "Oh fine, no problem" and we sat there for about 30 seconds before a fellow member drives up. So I said, "Well, Carrie's here! We can get going now!" and I hop out of the car and we roll into Elizabeth's, although Judy is fussing with Dottie's car seat and hanging back with Carrie, dragging her feet a little. I was like, "Oh, that's just Judy being her infuriatingly slow self again" and then I walked in and go to put my dish down on the table. Guess what!? There is a cake on the table that says, "Welcome, George Henry!" I was like, "What the heck?! This is strange." Then I turn to the living room, and there are several girls sitting around with a bunch of gifts on the coffee table. Surprise!!! It was a book party for George Henry! :-) So thanks to all his Lit Chicks auntie's, he's got lots of good reading to do, from Shel Silverstein to the Mr. Messy books to Goodnight Moon to some fun adoption themed books to a pajama dance to touchy feely books, you name it! I came right home and re-read all the cards and read all the books that night, and some of them made me just a little bit weepy, I'll be quite honest!

THANK YOU, LADIES!

Saturday marked my baby shower for friends in the area. I had selected the date with my sister, who got a bit busy with other things, some of my friends stepped in to take over, and then my sister stepped back in and the four of them managed to plan this magnificent party via email and telephone and Twitter! They didn't meet up in person once!

It was again at Elizabeth's Party Palace, and sadly the weather was drizzly and crappy, but the atmosphere was warm and welcoming. I read the Evite wrong, thinking the party started at 2:00, so I arrived at about 2:00 on the dot while the party in fact started at 3:00. Oops! In fact, I beat 2 of the 4 hostesses there, but I just sat in Elizabeth's living room, unwinding with her kitty cats and chatting from afar with the girls so none of their hard work and surprises would be spoiled. I was happy pappy when Judy arrived with my friend Joe. Joe and I have been friends for 15 years come this fall--we met at Manhattan College during a psychology class. We were paired up together for a project and he hadn't done his homework and sponged off me. Despite this, I kinda liked him, so we started hanging out and 15 years later, it's a beautiful thing.

The ladies put on a beautiful tea for me. There was a variety of delicious food, a wonderful assortment of teas, and so much fun. My sister made her famous chicken salad sandwiches, which is my favorite thing she cooks, and she put the chicken salad in little pastry shells--YUM! Melissa went hog wild at Wegman's and bought fruit tarts (my fave dessert!), appetizers, and the like and Jacalyn made cucumber sandwiches. Elizabeth introduced me to the joy of peach flavored tea, and it was so, so good!!!

There were some fun games, one of which I remembered from growing up in the North Country. This involved someone freezing little plastic babies into ice cubes and us seeing who could be the first one to get him out. Judy won by dipping hers in hot tea. We also played baby taboo, where if you said "Baby" you had to give up one of your diaper pins to whoever caught you saying it. I did well until I started opening presents. Then I lost it. Joe was the big winner!

The fun thing about the games was that all the prizes were baby gifts. Each had a little note attached and the winner signed it and gave it to me as an extra gift. I got little teethers and so forth, so it was great!

The girls also had advice for the mom to be cards and each guest took one and wrote some words of wisdom. They included:

Stay calm, ask for help, and enjoy! --Cecily
Let me know when you need cookies! Sugar always helps! And wine (for you--not for him) --Sarah
Call me anytime you need to talk with a fellow clueless first-timer! --Elizabeth
"Spare the rod and spoil the child." When you don't know, say: "Ask your fatha" When all else fails, VELCRO! --Joe
If you have any questions or need a break, call my big sister, she's great this thing. --Judy (my little sister)
Sleep when Jack is sleeping. Don't watch him sleep. Sleep! --Kris

We got so many lovely presents. Melissa and Judy both learned some new crochet techniques and gave me a hand-crocheted blanket each. Kris got us the Little People farm, which I remember the old school version growing up, as did the other girls so we all squealed about that. Joe didn't know he was coming till the day before, so he went to Safeway and got a Hello Kitty rectal thermometer--HILARIOUS, but I'll never use it. hehe We got more books, clothes, a bumbo, blankets, and Jacalyn made a gorgeous diaper cake full of cloth diapers, clothes, spoons, teethers and more!

I must mention Jacalyn's mom Ann's gift. She got us some little boxes and filled them with goodies, but suggested that what we should do is have a box on each floor of our house with some diapers, wipes, washclothes, etc. Because we have a split level and the baby's gear is upstairs and we'll spend most of our days downstairs, this will save me from running up and down to change him. This is a great idea and one I am definitely going to use!

However, I got home and the General helped me unload the car and I was showing him everything and showed him Ann's boxes. His response? "These are nice boxes! They are just the right size to pack brownies in for work." It's clear where my husband's priorities are! Ha!

You can see pictures at both Melissa's blog and Jacalyn's blog. Sorry, I was too busy to take any!!!

So yesterday was my office day, usually I am in my office in Fairfax on Mondays. I was not too happy about going in yesterday because B. had another doctor's appointment and asked me if I wanted to come, which I sure did! But my boss had scheduled a staff meeting for yesterday and I had to be there because it was a team meeting to discuss the transition into a life without Susan. So I went. Grudgingly. Armed with a 4 page report I'd spent hours compiling so that everyone would know who their clients were going to be and what they'd need to do with each client.

Ok, fine. So then I get an email when I get there, "Denise has a meeting in the conference room at 10:00, so our staff meeting will be pushed back to 11:00." And I was like, "So help me God, if they push this meeting back till 12:00, I am going to be so unhappy, I might have to scream." Because I went to the doctor with B. last week and I was back in the office at 12:30. Plus, I had been asked to do a big inservice yesterday and I had to cancel it in order to attend this staff meeting.

So around 10:45ish, my boss Tim walks into my office and says, "You got that report ready?" and I was like, "Yeah, it's right here" and I hand it to him. He says, "Well come on down to my office and we'll discuss it real quick before the meeting, and also there are a few other pieces of paperwork you need to fill out."

So I go on down there with him and we're sitting and gabbing and he's emailing me files for things I need to do like an exit interview and rattling off who I have to email things to and I'm just like, "Whatever, I am so over this" ha! So then he says, "Ok, hold on a sec, I forgot something out front, I'm just going to grab this other form." and he takes off. So I'm just sitting there like la de dah and then he comes streaking back in and says, "Ok, well it's time for the meeting, so c'mon and we'll finish this up after the meeting." Ok, so I follow him out to the conference room and still in a haze and he opens the door and everyone is sitting around the table, the room is decorated and everyone shouts, "Surprise!"

Well, honestly, I couldn't have been more surprised. In fact, I turned around to walk out. It literally didn't register what was going on. Tim stopped me and then I realized what was going on, and I said, "Oh my God!" and I smacked him one (fortunately he's good like that). There was a table full of food--Denise, my co-worker who had a baby a year ago had made piles of sandwiches and salads and dips and veggies, and there were chips and a beautiful "Congratulations, Susan!" cake. It was amazing. There was a table full of presents in the back and Denise caught everything on camera--she is going to give me a CD shortly. So there we were again, everyone sitting around watching me open presents!!! Tim read a poem he wrote in my honor (you can read it here) and it was also a going away party for me as I will be leaving my job on George Henry's birthday.

We got so much great gear for the baby, my friend Debbie is such a crafty one she made a beautiful bath time bucket out of a paint can and filled it with onesies and washclothes and bath goodies. Our office manager, Roxie, gave me a hat she had knit herself. Denise gave me a whole laundry basket full of diapers and wipes and good things like that, Kris gave me clothes for when he gets older (love that!) one of the mobility instructors and a counselor gave us a whole bag of Easter themed goodies and a lullaby CD. It was awesome. Plus they all chipped in for a good-bye gift to give me a gift certificate/Visa gift card, which I am stashing for a new mommy emergency run to Starbucks. I have plans for that Visa card.

Thank you, DBVI!!! I'm so lucky to have worked with such an awesome crew. It was bitter sweet, everyone kept saying, "What are we going to do without you for X, Y, or Z?" But I reminded them all that Jack's doctor is in Fairfax and I'll have nothing better to do than drive around aimlessly anyway, so I'll come visit often!

So I went out with Debbie last night and then driving home, I called the General and told him to be ready to flex his muscles--we got gear! We hauled in another round of goodies and at this point, it was looking like a desperate situation in our living room. It looked like a Baby Depot truck had pulled up, dumped its load, and driven off.

So today I spent some time putting things upstairs, washing all the clothes, and trying to get some things organized. We are hamstrung by our lack of a bureau and the closet doesn't have a clothes bar or shelves or anything. This weekend, Uncle Lucas is supposed to come help me get a dresser and put it together, and hopefully that will solve this problem.

You remember my beautiful baby ready nursery? I think someone called it "magazine gorgeous"?

Well, here's what it looks like today with all the gear loaded in.

Box of Bum Genius 3.0 diapers, ready to be washed and waiting for use!



Why have one carseat when you can have two?


He's got clothes, but nowhere to sleep!






This is my current organizational project! (See below for more details)

Ok, so the clothes in bags. My friend Mandy (you will remember her from the diaper cake) told me that she started putting her boys' clothes into ziploc bags, one outfit per bag. She said this makes it REALLY easy to grab an outfit and go, she can even send the boys or her husband to grab a clothing bag and they can be on their way in no time.

What really appeals to me about this is not only the speed and convenience of it, but that Michael will be able to pick out an outfit that's coordinated and dress Jack up and be ready to roll if need be. I'm trying it out and now have tons of hats and socks to include in the packages. Once we get him a dresser this weekend, I can put them in the drawers by size and we can recycle the bags as he outgrows things. I'm excited to see how this works!

Monday night, I should mention, I got home and Michael said we'd had a package delivered. So I took it and guess who it was from? My friend Julie in Georgia!! She and I met over 10 years ago when her parents and mine all decided to split up (they didn't know each other or anything, but it was at roughly the same time anyway). We've kept in touch all these years and she has a little guy of her own, Joey, who is 6, I think by now? and just so adorable he can't quit. So, she sent us a gift for Baby Kosior and guess what it was? A hand-crocheted afghan! In blue! Different than the other 2, totally gorgeous as well. This is absolutely wonderful, he's going to be the warmest baby on the block :-)

So we have some cleaning up to do! Our neighbor is going to install our shelves for us soon up on the wall and hopefully I can hire him to put in some shelves and a clothing bar in the closet. And that's it! Look for another post soon about my new projects for the nursery if it doesn't swallow me whole in the meantime!

Showers of Heartbeats

Yesterday I went with B. to the doctor for her regular check up. The doctor felt around and put a monitor on her and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat! :-) It was so exciting! I cried just a little bit. What a moment. Otherwise, she is doing fine. She has dilated maybe a fingertip, so not too much action there, but she is coming along. Hopefully he'll be here soon!

In other news, our friend Mandy came over on Saturday bearing a diaper cake!! She had a former nanny of hers make it for us, and it was coordinated to match our nursery. It has little frogs, spoons, teething toys, diapers, shampoo, everything! Absolutely adorable. Thanks, Mandy and family, the wonderful surprise!

I arrived at book club last night and the girls had a surprise shower for me there as well. Each of them gave us a book or two, and it was so fun to look through them. We got a couple of adoption themed books, and a bunch of tactile books (great for reading with Daddy!), and some old favorites like the Little Mister books and Goodnight Moon and Shel Silverstein. Thanks, ladies! Lit Chicks are the best girls in the world :-)

It's an exciting time. My sister and three friends are throwing a shower for me this Saturday, and I think on Sunday, Michael and I will do some shopping for baby too. It will be nice to get him some things from his parents.

I guess that's about all! Things are slowly but surely moving along. I'm sure he'll be here before we know it.

What Kind of Adoption Are You Having?

If we get asked one question beyond the question of baby specifics (gender, name, nursery theme), it's what kind of an adoption we are going to have. A totally open adoption? A closed adoption? One joker even asked us if we were going to tell him he was adopted! (I think he's going to figure it out.)

In the beginning, we didn't really know. Most of our friends who have adopted or been adopted have done so from overseas. We have one friend here in town who is adopted and told us that we had no choice but to have a fully open adoption where the birth mom is presented to him right from the start. Others have expressed concern that we all live so close and that maybe we should be nervous that she'll come around.

About this... Let me say that once the court documents are signed, sealed, and delivered, she has fully and legally relinquished all her rights. She cannot show up on our doorstep and demand the child back. If she were to take him, she'd be charged with kidnapping. Once we accept custody of him, he's legally ours. The process will grant us temporary custody after the waiting period, during which she can change her mind. I'm not sure how long the waiting period is exactly, but I believe it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 days. After that, we will go to court and she will sign him over to us. Then we have temporary custody for six months. During those six months, we will have 2 visits from our social worker, who will report back to the court that we are not screwing up too badly--the first visit at 3 months, the second at 6. At the end of that timeframe, provided everything goes smoothly, there will be one last court hearing, which will involve only us and our attorney, and the court will grant us permanent custody. B. will not be involved in that hearing at all--her rights will have been terminated 6 months ago. If, God forbid, the court finds that we are not adequate parents for this little dude, he would be placed in foster care.

From the beginning, we've said we would exchange reports and progress letters and photos. It's what I would want at a minimum if I were to be forced to make this decision and put my child up for adoption. When we were first matched with B. and talked with her on the phone for the first time, we asked her what type of adoption she wanted and she said that she would like to receive letters and pictures from time to time. It was a good fit.

As we look at the logistics of how this adoption is going to go, I know that in the days following the baby's birth, we will see B. again. We have agreed to transport her to a court hearing in Virginia in order to save ourselves an extra court date and an extra $1500. She will do a hospital 'walk out' with us--meaning that she will take the baby outside the hospital and hand him to us--thereby saving us the need to have a court order and another pile of money.

And when we met her, there was a connection that made me hope that we will be in contact with her for a long time. She is a lovely and smart young woman who one night made a mistake--a mistake that will grow into my family.

But at the same time, I feel strongly that it should be Little Jack's decision about what type of relationship, if any, he wants with B. Some adopted kids want a relationship with their birth families and some do not. I do not want to force him into a relationship with people he doesn't care to know, but I also won't prevent him from knowing them if he so desires.

So there's your answer--although I guess it's not really an answer. I guess we will just kind of do what feels right for all of us, but most of all what feels right to Little Jack. But I appreciate everyone's curiosity!! It's given us something to think about.

Ups and Downs!

The visit on Saturday went fantastically! We met B. and her daughter at the Cheesecake Factory at the Inner Harbor and from the start it was great. I gave her a great big hug, and the baby started kicking! Unbelievable! We gave the little one a big teddy bear, and she and I were instantly inseparable--every time I'd put her down, she'd start crying. By the time the visit was over, she'd drunk half my Diet Coke and I was covered in ketchup, but what a blast.

B. invited me to attend her next doctor's appointment on Monday, so hopefully if they do an ultrasound or sonogram, I'll be able to actually see the little dude myself. We got home Saturday night and she called to say she was having some contractions, so we wondered if we were going to have to turn around and go back up there. It was a total panic zone here for about an hour--trying to collapse the portable crib, wash laundry, make a phone list, etc. It's gotten us to thinking that we need a better plan than running around trying to throw things in bags, so last night we started preparing for our trip--got the laptop up and running, made a phone list, and I'm starting a list of things we need to pack up so that we can grab and go when the time comes.

This morning we got word that we were NOT approved for a Gift of Adoption grant due to our income being plenty fine to cover our fees. Oh really? I'd like to know how they figured that out. That's what I hate about financials on paper--they really don't give you a picture of how people manage. Not saying we're in dire straits, but we're not rolling in it either. The whole point of Gift of Adoption grants is to not look at people's income, but to give people that little boost they need to get over the last hurdle to the adoption. *Sigh* Oh well. We'll be fine, I'm sure. Especially now that we have someplace free to stay. That's going to be a big help indeed.

Abby's called us on Sunday to get our impression of the visit and of course we were thrilled with it and apparently B. was too and mentioned to Abby's how much her little girl had loved spending time with me. So that's good. Always up. :-)

That's all the news from here so far.

Big Day!

Today is the big day we meet B. We won't be posting pictures to protect her privacy, but we will let everyone know how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed :-)

We spoke with her last night and she said she's VERY uncomfortable and there is a lot of pressure. So we could be parents soon. We'll see!

In other news, a big THANK YOU to our friend Tom who is letting us stay at his place in Maryland for the duration of our stay. Ka-ching! Savings on hotels :-)

And also to our friend Cindy who squeezed us in to do our taxes and got them out before this week's IRS deadline for returns--our return was accepted and we should have our return in about 2 weeks! This will allow us to pay off the credit card bill we incurred paying for the attorneys. WOO HOO!

Busy and Productive Weekend

We spent a lot of time this weekend on adoption related matters. The big news is that our birthmom has moved back to the East Coast and is much closer to us now. Consequently, meeting her is going to be a lot easier, as is going to see her during the birth and to pick up Little Jack. When we got the news, we immediately had to re-think all the legal stuff and so we are waiting on our attorney here in Virginia to sort that out for us again.

We spoke with the agency out in Iowa and they spoke with the birthmom (I'll call her B. from now on--B. for birthmom!) and she gave her permission for us to have her phone number. We tried calling her on Saturday, but weren't able to get her. She did call us back and leave a message while we were at a game night at a friend's house, so we decided to call her back on Sunday afternoon. Surprise! She called us at 10:00am Sunday! We chatted for nearly 20 minutes and it was so great. She is such a fascinating person--we learned a lot about her and she learned a lot about us. It was fun to ask her questions like how she'd been feeling, what foods she's been craving (hot sauce, which her doctors have told her to quit eating. Ha!), etc. She told us that every morning at 3am, Jack starts kicking the heck out of her, and she said that he's such an active baby that a woman on the bus with her the other day asked her what she had hiding under her jacket! WOW! She told us we'd better be ready for a real busy body :-) She was also very happy to hear about our pet rabbit--she thinks it's great the baby will have a pet.

Anyway, we've made plans to meet up with her in early March to have lunch and get to know one another more. Thanks to everyone who has given me so many recommendations about where we should go for lunch! Sabatino's appears to be in the lead. I'm not sure how we'll keep still we're so excited, and we've been reading up on how to prepare for the meeting, which is a little nerve-wracking, but honestly the phone call was so great, that most of my nervousness has disappeared into pure excitement. She sounds very determined to go through with the adoption, and has filled out a hospital plan that includes us in every way. She verbally told us that we are welcome to be in the delivery room, in her words, "when all the action goes down", which is so reassuring and thrilling that we'll get to witness his first breaths in this world. It brings tears to my eyes.

Also big news: a great big huge THANK YOU to everyone who bought something from our Pampered Chef show! Together we managed to raise nearly $500 for the adoption!! This is huge, unbelievable, and unexpected. So many people passed the information along to friends and co-workers and family that we got orders from all over the place. I would get an email and think, "Who the heck is Ann Smith? Do I know Ann Smith?" and shortly thereafter get an email from a friend who'd say, "That's my mom/cousin/friend!" So thank you all! :-)

We decided that since it all looks pretty official, we need to get moving on the nursery! Sunday afternoon, TomTom vacated his room upstairs and moved into the basement. I wouldn't say he's unhappy about it, but I would say that he's rather confused. He keeps scurrying around the pen that we bought him wondering what the heck is going on. I cleaned his cage tonight, and I have to say, the house has not smelled the least bit rabbity, so I think thus far, after 48 hours, I am able to keep up with it. I do think we will wind up going through a lot more litter, as I plan to clean his box out every other day, but he's actually become much cleaner since moving into a smaller space. Hooray for TomTom! (Even if he hates it) As you can see from the picture, Michael decided to welcome him to the basement by making his ears stand straight up. Ha! This picture just cracks me up. TomTom LOVES having his ears stroked, so even though it looks crazy, you can tell by his eyes being closed that he's actually in hog heaven.

So this morning, we decided to tackle the baby's room, and had a ton of volunteers. My sister and brother-in-law came to lend a hand, and everything went so smoothly that we were able to call off the other volunteers and save them some free time!

Judy and Lucas divvied up the responsibilities--Judy helped me with the flooring, and Lucas was in charge of furniture building. We started with the floors--I'd spent yesterday sweeping and scraping and getting the floors into as good shape as they could be after having lived as a rabbit hutch for three years. Then we started putting the carpet tile down. I ordered carpet tile from Target.com I got two different colors so we could have a checkerboard design--green and what I thought was white but turned out to be beige. This is fine, though, I'd rather it be beige--hides the mess better :) I was a bit worried about all the cutting that would be required around things like heat vents and doorways, but it turns out my sister is a whiz (she claims all that playing Tetris paid off!), so she told me how to measure and cut and I did it. Only once did I totally screw up and it worked out anyway as I was able to cut the mistake off and still use the tile just fine. The tile has a light adhesive on the back, not really enough to do any good, so we wound up staple gunning the tiles to the floor once we were finished. This worked out really well and Lucas was able to vacuum with no problem whatsoever. There is one little section where the tiles are up just a little bit, but I think as we continue to walk on and over them, they'll settle in nicely.

After we finished the flooring, Judy and Lucas brought the crib upstairs and Lucas had it together in no time at all. I helped tighten a few screws, because really, that was all there was to it. It was an absolute snap. So we decided to put together Little Jack's bookshelf while we were at it--Lucas and I had built this exact model last Easter when I needed somewhere to house my "to be read" collection--sadly, it's outgrown the shelf, but oh well, it's still a great sized shelf! So we knocked that together in about 30 minutes and put everything where it belonged.

Well, of course, with the crib up, I wanted to put the bedding in, which I couldn't do without having a mattress, so I took a quick trip to Target and picked up the mattress, a touch lamp (cool!) and a garbage can to use as a diaper pail. After we got back and the sheets and blankets were done being Drefted in the washer and had dried, I ironed the curtain/blinds which had been washed to remove rabbit fur, I washed down the walls again, washed the windows, and cleaned the ceiling fan. Then it was time to put the room together, as much as we could with the few things we have. But actually, we're in good shape. I have a set of 2 shelves that need to be mounted to the wall, and then we need a rocking chair/glider and a dresser/changing table and the furniture is all done! Then we just have to make ourselves a working closet (there is no clothes bar or anything in there, and we will probably use the leftover carpet tiles on the floor in the closet) and the room will be in even greater shape.

So here's where we are with the room. If Jack came home tomorrow, we'd be ready for him.

Eeyore and Seahorse are ready for Jack to come home too!

First Look at George Henry

This picture is kind of chipmunky, but maybe that's better than alien. :-)